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25 Things Everyone Thinks In Target

All the reasons why I walk in for one thing and walk out with $175.68 worth of useless sh*t

Hannah Budke

May 02, 2016

Valencia, California

We go in for one thing and come out with 36 items. We all do it -- it's OK.

1. "Focus, you've got this. Just get in and out." you came here for a notebook

2. "I'll just get a cart though, just in case." **note: This is the moment you realize you've left 'casual shopping' and entered the seventh level of hell: Target with an empty cart. Must. Buy. Everything*

3. "Sh*t, they have my favorite pens. I'll just get one pack."

4. *puts 12 packs in the cart* "Whatever, they're only a dollar."

5. "Oh they put out new swimsuits!"

"I think they're buy one get one 50 percent off. That's like getting six swimsuits for the price of four and a half or something. Whatever, I'll do the math later."

6. "God bless they finally put out the 2016-2017 academic calendars."

7. "I'll just get four, you know, in case I lose one or something ..."

8. "I probably need new makeup."

9. "I've been thinking about getting a new curling iron (I haven't) so I'll just check them out really quick."

10. "Ugh, it's $29"

11. "Oh, but it's 5 percent off on Cartwheel, so I'll get it for sure." #bargainshopper

12. "Sunscreen is 10 percent off on Cartwheel, so I should probably stock up." (I don't need sunscreen)

13. "I think I need more highlighters." (I don't)

14. "Oh my gosh, I have been looking everywhere for a golden dog-shaped tape dispenser! have to get it."(No I haven't)

15. "The Nate Berkus section saves my life."

16. "I think I should redecorate my whole room."

17. "... and apartment."

18. "I can totally justify this purchase of a $30 piece of wall art that I'll never hang up."

19. "I should check out the DVD section just 'cause" *hasn't used a DVD player since I was 9*

20. "The Hannah Montana movie is only $8.99? Must purchase." *never watches it*

21. "I totally need a new power strip for under my bed."

22. "You can never go wrong with buying extra lightbulbs, you know, just in case."

23. "I definitely need a new purse"

24. "I'm probably running out of EOS chapsticks" *puts seven in cart*

25. "Ugh, I've been looking all over for this glitter tape that has so many uses!" *has maybe one redeeming use*

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Things Everyone Thinks In Target

All the reasons why I walk in for one thing and walk out with $175.68 worth of useless sh*t

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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