Are you ready? Cause I'm ready! Spongebob is a cultural must-have for millennials. We all spent years of our lives watching porous, yellow cartoon. So it's only appropriate we bring his ever-relevant quotes with us to college.
1. Spongebob: “I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready!”
Ahh, the sweet naïve sentiment at the beginning of the semester. You’re feeling great after a break, ready to take on all that college will throw at you… or so you think.
2. Plankton: "F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium..bombs! N is for no survival!"
When its syllabus week but the prof spends thirty seconds on the syllabus then jumps into chapters 1,2,3,4… oh and you have three tests tomorrow.
3. Spongebob:"I've got the pieces!" Patrick: "I've got the air!" *tries putting balloon back together*
Syllabus week came and went, and now classes are in full swing. Since that nice break made you forget how to use a pencil, it feels like everything is falling apart. But you still have that determination to put on your game face and turn that starting C to an A, no matter how impossible it seems.
4. Patrick *to Mindy*: "Did you see my underwear?" Mindy: "No, Patrick." Patrick: "Did you want to?"
So you survived your first couple of weeks (barely) and decide that you should treat yourself by going out. Since your main goal is to forget that Chemistry class and just let loose, you seem to lose all sense of boundaries and normalcy… which leads you to say things you normally wouldn’t. (hint: see above quote)
5. Patrick: "Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!"
You’ve officially stopped dressing to impress. Your wardrobe consists of sweatpants and any shirt that passes the “sniff” test. Odds are you slept in your outfit the night before, and are wearing outfits two days in a row. (but who cares, your Monday, Wednesday, Friday classmates know nothing of your Tuesday, Thursday life.)
6. Squidward: "No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument." *Patrick raises his hand again* "No, Patrick, horseradish is not an instrument either."
Classes are getting even more difficult, so difficult that you can’t even formulate a rational question. Basically, you’re asking about Shakespeare in biology and photosynthesis in calculus.
7. SpongeBob: "Well first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom Anthem."
This is how you’re handling your workload, or at least this is what it feels like. (and even if you master all of it, you still might not get the “formuoli” right.)
8. Squidward: "Patrick, how stupid are you?" Patrick: "It varies."
Self-explanatory.
9. Patrick: "East?! Oh, I thought you said Weest!"
When you go to all of the lectures (okay, you missed two) and you still mess up the information.
10. Mr. Krabs: "Hmm, a five-letter word for happiness...money."
Broke college students ballin’ on a budget, UNITE!
11. Spongebob: "This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is...ADVANCED darkness."
When you studied all weekend for an exam, but then the test is in front of you and you can’t remember a single thing. Basically, you’re completely in the dark. But hey, I’m sure they give at least a couple points for correct name and date!
12. SpongeBob: "Look at all the hip, young people eating sal...ads."
Take two steps into the dining hall and this is what you see. (PSA: Always go for the fries, even if everyone else has a sal-ad)
13. Patrick: "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo? C'mon, SpongeBob, this is first grade!"
When you finally get that tutor you’ve been waiting for, but then they explain the material in the most confusing way possible, expecting you to understand it.
14. Patrick: *shoots himself with net* "It's not you that's got me...it's me that's got me!"
Realizing that it’s been your self-doubt that makes school work stressful, not the work itself, and that if you just had a little more confidence you’d be good to go. (cheesy, but oh so true)
15. Patrick: "Being grown-up is boring. Besides, I don't 'get' jazz."
You’ve wanted to be an adult all your life, until responsibilities and “adult-ing” got way out of hand. What is laundry, what is sleeping at a normal time, what is a healthy food choice? Who wants to be a child forever? Um, me, please.
16. Plankton: "That naive cube."
Thinking back to when you thought the semester would be easy.
17. SpongeBob: "You know what's funnier than 24? 25!"
The grade you got on your exam. And the revised grade with the one point curve.
18. Spongebob: “What do you usually do when I’m gone? Patrick: waiting for you to come back.”
19. Accurate representation of what you and your friends do when you all go your separate ways when break comes to an end.
20. Spongebob: "Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be? Patrick: Um… more time for thinking.”
When the exam time is just too short, and if you had those 20 extra seconds you’d be able to answer the 10 questions you skipped.
21. SpongeBob: “I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…”
Trying to get into a frat like…
22. Patrick: “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.”
When you’ve been staring at the course material for an hour and still haven’t retained a word.
23. Patrick: “It’s a vast swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading fluffy pillows of excitement, and comfort, as you’ve never felt before.”
Your bed after a long day of classes. Believe me, it’s heavenly.
24. SpongeBob: [to Bubble Buddy] “Woo! Shake it! Shake it! Yeah! Shake that bubble butt!”
When the end of the semester is in sight, and you’re actually doing well for once. Did someone say, celebration time?
25. SpongeBob: “Patrick! Your genius is showing!! Patrick: *GASP!* Where?!”
The semester ends and you can finally breathe again. Although you thought it was impossible, you held it together and came out on top, a true genius! Now it’s over for good… until next semester.
