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25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man

Someone had to say it.

Emily Schroeder

Jan 02, 2017

Peru State College

25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man

Pexels

Let me just start by saying this, in the course of my short 22 years I have learned many things. Some good, some ... not so much. But one thing I have come to know with a full sense of confidence is this: You will always find something more reliable than a man. With that being said, I do have to confess that this is with the exception of my father whom, on more than one occasion, has received a sobbing phone call about my recent vehicular mishap with the utmost sense of calm I have yet to match. So when I really spread my wings, you could say, I only found one thing closer to my heart. Wine. Yeah I said it. Sorry to folks out there who cannot attain similar feels this vibrant, versatile and oh so sophisticated liquid.

1. Wine will always cheer you up.

2. It will never ask you to send nudes!

3. Wine will never comment on your weight!

4. Not only that, but it can help keep you slimmer!

5. Wine helps you live longer.

6. It helps you cook.

7. Will always love the outfit you put it in.

8. It will always help you unwind after a bad day.

9. It's always the life of the party!

10. You'll (almost) never feel bad about sharing it!

11. Never leaves you lonely.

12. Helps you forget about anything!

13. It can only get better with age!

14. Contributes to any cute DIY craft.

15. Reduces your risk of heart disease!

16. AND increases your brain function.

17. Inspires fabulous bravery.

18. It will never take you on a bad date!

19. You never have to feel embarrassed about taking it anywhere!

20. It will never shame you for staying in bed all day!

21. It doesn't have a political opinion.

22. Never talks back.

23. Never have to deal with the stress of meeting its family...unless you mean its hotter redder brother ;)

24. Laughs at ALL of your jokes!

25. Will basically never let you down.

So I say CHEERS! To fermented fruit and reliability!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man

Someone had to say it.

1. Wine will always cheer you up.

2. It will never ask you to send nudes!

3. Wine will never comment on your weight!

4. Not only that, but it can help keep you slimmer!

5. Wine helps you live longer.

6. It helps you cook.

7. Will always love the outfit you put it in.

8. It will always help you unwind after a bad day.

9. It's always the life of the party!

10. You'll (almost) never feel bad about sharing it!

11. Never leaves you lonely.

12. Helps you forget about anything!

13. It can only get better with age!

14. Contributes to any cute DIY craft.

15. Reduces your risk of heart disease!

16. AND increases your brain function.

17. Inspires fabulous bravery.

18. It will never take you on a bad date!

19. You never have to feel embarrassed about taking it anywhere!

20. It will never shame you for staying in bed all day!

21. It doesn't have a political opinion.

22. Never talks back.

23. Never have to deal with the stress of meeting its family...unless you mean its hotter redder brother ;)

24. Laughs at ALL of your jokes!

25. Will basically never let you down.

So I say CHEERS! To fermented fruit and reliability!

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The transition into adulthood is never easy

1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

8. Your friends always text you when they are going to the library because they know you will be there.

9. You have taken a nap in the library at some point.

10. You know all the cold and hot spots in the library.

11. You've seen your studying pay off.

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