25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man | The Odyssey Online
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25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man

Someone had to say it.

Emily Schroeder
Jan 02, 2017
Peru State College
17
25 Reasons Wine Is More Reliable Than A Man
Pexels

Let me just start by saying this, in the course of my short 22 years I have learned many things. Some good, some ... not so much. But one thing I have come to know with a full sense of confidence is this: You will always find something more reliable than a man. With that being said, I do have to confess that this is with the exception of my father whom, on more than one occasion, has received a sobbing phone call about my recent vehicular mishap with the utmost sense of calm I have yet to match. So when I really spread my wings, you could say, I only found one thing closer to my heart. Wine. Yeah I said it. Sorry to folks out there who cannot attain similar feels this vibrant, versatile and oh so sophisticated liquid.

1. Wine will always cheer you up.

2. It will never ask you to send nudes!

3. Wine will never comment on your weight!

4. Not only that, but it can help keep you slimmer!

5. Wine helps you live longer.

6. It helps you cook.

7. Will always love the outfit you put it in.

8. It will always help you unwind after a bad day.

9. It's always the life of the party!

10. You'll (almost) never feel bad about sharing it!

11. Never leaves you lonely.

12. Helps you forget about anything!

13. It can only get better with age!

14. Contributes to any cute DIY craft.

15. Reduces your risk of heart disease!

16. AND increases your brain function.

17. Inspires fabulous bravery.

18. It will never take you on a bad date!

19. You never have to feel embarrassed about taking it anywhere!

20. It will never shame you for staying in bed all day!

21. It doesn't have a political opinion.

22. Never talks back.

23. Never have to deal with the stress of meeting its family...unless you mean its hotter redder brother ;)

24. Laughs at ALL of your jokes!

25. Will basically never let you down.


So I say CHEERS! To fermented fruit and reliability!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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