I think anyone who has ever visited can agree that the University of Wisconsin really is an extraordinary place. As much as I love this place, there's been some questions that have come up in the last four years that I really need some answers to. So if you're reading this, Chancellor Blank, this one's for you.
1. Why are the stairs up to Bascom uncentered?
2. Why are there two elevator shafts, but only one elevator in the journalism school?
3. Do you actually get free tuition if you get hit by a bus?
4. How many calories do we actually burn by walking up Bascom?
5. Speaking of Bascom, is it totally out of the question to build an escalator up the hill?
6. What would it actually take for classes to be canceled? At least 10 feet of snow?
7. Will the construction at the terrace ever end or no?
8. What would it take to rebuild the journalism school?
9. Why do you call a minor a certificate?
10. Why are we the only school in this country that uses a different grading scale? Seriously, what is an "AB"?
11. Why can't all classes be on one website? What is the purpose of having "Canvas," "Learn@UW" and "Desire to Learn?
12. Who IS allowed to drive on State Street?
13. Why is Camp Randall so far away?
14. Why do the doctors at UHS always make me feel like I'm dying?
15. Is it really necessary to have football and basketball tickets go on sale at 8 a.m.?
16. How many people can actually fit on the 80 bus?
17. Who started the whole rubbing Abe's foot for good luck tradition?
18. Why do finals start on a Saturday and go until Christmas Eve Eve?
19. Why is food allowed in College Library, but not Memorial?
20. Why do you have to show a student ID to get into Memorial, but not College?
21. What is the logic behind the angled desks in class? Everything just falls!
22. How many bars are actually on this campus?
23. How many Bucky costumes are there?
24. What do I have to do to never graduate?
25. How could someone possibly think their school is better than Wisconsin?
And finally, one question I will NEVER have, "Why Wisconsin?"