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25 Phases Of A Sunburn

And 50 shades of red.

MiKayla LeAnn Carter

Apr 24, 2017

University of Kentucky

181

Odyssey

It's summer again. What does that mean? For some, warm weather. For others, no school. And for others, sunburns. While they're not the most welcome part of the season, those pesky little red spots are here to stay. With a little help from aloe vera and cold showers, they're a little easier to handle. The following are the usual sunburn phases you can expect for this summer cycle:

1. You are given some awesome excuse to finally go outside into the beautiful and fresh sunshine.

2. You don't think you need sunscreen...

3. ...So you don't use sunscreen.

4. Slowly you realize why you needed the sunscreen.

5. Does your skin actually hurt that bad or are you just playing yourself?

6. Nope, it hurts that bad.

7. You are now morphing from a normal human being into one of those fruits that Mamaw usually grows on vines in the backyard.

8. The jokes from your friends start rolling in.

9. Your mom most likely asks you how you could be so stupid.

10. Aloe vera.

11. You go to bed, thinking the redness should be gone by morning.

12. Nope.

13. Aloe vera.

14. More jokes from your friends.

15. The pain isn't quite as fresh, but it's pretty much like you just took a huge scab the size of your face and scraped it off with a fork.

16. Aloe vera.

17. The redness should be gone by the end of the week.

18. Nope.

19. In addition to the redness, you now have an actual scab the size of your face that looks kinda like a mixture of dead skin and a burnt turkey.

20. Peeling.

21. More peeling.

22. At this point, you have shed an entire layer of skin and you feel oddly in sync with snakes and those cicada things.

23. Ooh la la, soft skin...

24. ...and oh wow...that tan line.

25. Did someone say the beach?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Phases Of A Sunburn

And 50 shades of red.

1. You are given some awesome excuse to finally go outside into the beautiful and fresh sunshine.

2. You don't think you need sunscreen...

3. ...So you don't use sunscreen.

4. Slowly you realize why you needed the sunscreen.

5. Does your skin actually hurt that bad or are you just playing yourself?

6. Nope, it hurts that bad.

7. You are now morphing from a normal human being into one of those fruits that Mamaw usually grows on vines in the backyard.

8. The jokes from your friends start rolling in.

9. Your mom most likely asks you how you could be so stupid.

10. Aloe vera.

11. You go to bed, thinking the redness should be gone by morning.

12. Nope.

13. Aloe vera.

14. More jokes from your friends.

15. The pain isn't quite as fresh, but it's pretty much like you just took a huge scab the size of your face and scraped it off with a fork.

16. Aloe vera.

17. The redness should be gone by the end of the week.

18. Nope.

19. In addition to the redness, you now have an actual scab the size of your face that looks kinda like a mixture of dead skin and a burnt turkey.

20. Peeling.

21. More peeling.

22. At this point, you have shed an entire layer of skin and you feel oddly in sync with snakes and those cicada things.

23. Ooh la la, soft skin...

24. ...and oh wow...that tan line.

25. Did someone say the beach?

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

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