When I turned 25 years old, I had a slight quarter-life crisis, as many people do. Now, I’m not saying here that being 25 is old. I’m also not saying that it is young. What I’m saying is that each person is justified feeling however they feel when they blow out the candles on their cake and inevitably have an existential moment where they contemplate where they’re at in life and what they have accomplished up to this point. Because I am incredibly OCD and also happen to be anxiety ridden about life in general, as soon as the calendar turned and it became 2016, I realized that my doomsday was coming and I only had approximately, and I’m estimating, 72 days exactly to accomplish everything that I felt as a 25-year-old woman should have accomplished. In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I made a list of 25 things to accomplish before I turned 25 (which included all sorts of things including skydiving, and I actually finished!), but it was not finishing this list that changed my life or taught me how to be 25. So without further ado: 25 things I have learned as a 25-year-old.

1. People expect you to have your life together, but no one really does.

This is not a joke, man. I have lucked out in the fact that people always think I am younger than I am. In university, people assume I’m about 22 or 23 so it’s perfectly appropriate that I haven’t graduated yet. However, a lot of people (including my younger self!) believe that by 25 you should have some sort of a steady relationship, you should be done with school or doing a graduate program and that you should have a real job. Don’t worry, I’m here to blow that load of bull right out of the water for you. Barely anyone is “where they want to be” at 25. And that’s okay — it’s life. Everyone goes at their own pace.

2. Not giving a crap what anyone else thinks is incredibly freeing

The moment that I decided that it didn’t matter what other people think about how I’m living my life, I started doing things I actually wanted to do, and I became so much happier. I stopped thinking about whether or not my boss would get mad at me for quitting, and started thinking about what I needed to do to be happy. I halted myself from contemplating whether other people would make fun of the outfit I chose to wear and wore it with pride. I stopped hesitating before I told people my major, because it doesn’t matter if they don’t think I will get a job in the future. It matters if I am happy. What matters is that you are true to yourself. Something about being 25 taught me that. I realized I am not getting any younger. Gotta be as crazy as you want, because life is what you make of it. Sidenote: it can be strategic to know what others think of you so you understand their expectations, but not to let that arbitrate your life or feelings. While it is helpful to know what others think, it is my opinion that you should just not give a crap about it.

3. It’s okay to make drastic changes to your appearance to make yourself feel more evolved

Oh my goodness, the moment that I cut 14 inches of hair off I felt so free. I didn’t consult anyone. I had been thinking about it for a while and I knew I wanted to do it. As soon as I did it, I felt more me than I ever had been. Not just because I felt like the short hair looked good, but also because I made a decision and I knew, hands down, that it was MY decision for MY body. It also gave me the option to reinvent myself a little bit. Something that made me feel different gave me the freedom to act a little different than people were used to, and it was okay.

4. Age is just a number

Clichés can be correct. You are only as old (or young!) as you feel. Sometimes I feel like I’m 22, and other times I feel like I’m 35. Fluctuation is fine. This isn’t like a big race of who is going to get the oldest fastest, or who can stay young longest.

5. It’s okay to not be working at your dream job just yet

You mean all of my distant relatives who frown in my general direction at the Thanksgiving table aren’t necessarily the end-all be-all when it comes to my career? No? As long as you have an end goal, working in a restaurant can get you there. And most of the time, those jobs are flexible enough to let you also work that grueling internship, or be in school for a ridiculous amount of years.

6. People are insecure at any age

Right now, there are people freaking out because they are turning 18, 22, 25, 30, 36, 40, 50, 60, and so on and so forth. This is not the first or last encounter that you will have with the paralyzing fear of reaching a certain amount of years on this planet. I have friends all over the age spectrum, who downplay or freak out about their age constantly. In short: you are not alone. You are in a world with hundreds of thousands of 25-year-olds. You are in a world with billions of people who are uncertain if they have achieved the expectations required of their age group.

7. Being an adult doesn’t quite feel like being an adult.

There have been so many times where I’ve thought, man, I don’t know what to do in this situation, I should ask an adult. Then I realize that I am the adult in the situation. Then I promptly make something up. I did this for a while before I ever got the guts to talk to someone else about it, and I realized they do the exact same thing! So rest assured, we are all just people parading around as adults, making shit up.

8. Ugh, Bills.

Healthcare, car insurance, car payments, rent, utilities, gas, trash, water, taxes, car registration, for the short list. I have learned all about these fun things. The good news is, even if you have no idea what or why you’re paying, you probably are paying them too. The man thanks you for it. And also your future self who might need to go to the doctor or who might get into a car accident. Congrats on being 25.

9. The little things can make a big difference

Like seeing your name in a publication (for instance), or accomplishing an impressive project at work or school, or being able to make yourself a delicious coffee in the morning. For example, the thing that makes me feel the most adult is that I am well read. When I discuss things with adults who are more adult than I (adult-ier, I call them) I can support my reasoning and opinions. This may seem small, and for you, it will probably be different. But realizing that I have a small thing that I am proud of is an important thing to hold on to.

10. You can make a difference

You have the ability to work towards ending things that are wrong with the world that make you upset. You can get involved in organizations that help to end homelessness with college students, or you can see a need and start your own organization. You can spread awareness about real world issues that bother you. You can impact the lives of people around you. You are super capable. There are tangible things that you can do right now that will make a difference.

11. Maybe it’s time to start taking vitamins

Your body is going to get old. You are not getting younger. Maybe take some vitamins. Or drink some water. Or eat some vegetables. Or a combination of all three.

12. Also, how about that 401K?

The earlier you start putting money into a 401K, the better. The money you put in now will multiply to an excellent degree, it will be awesome. I am so grateful for the friend who kind of tricked me into opening one, even if I only have $500 each year to contribute. Also, I want to be that old lady who wears ridiculous bright colored clothing and travels to Jamaica to sip pina colada's on the beach just because I can. A 401k will empower me to live out that future.

13. Being aware of what is happening politically all of a sudden seems like it might affect your life

Honestly, it has this entire time, but now all of the sudden when you’re signing up for health care and trying to negotiate a salary and thinking about having children, it all becomes very, very real. You have to live with what laws? You have to listen to people talking about which goon at dinner parties you attend?

14. You start thinking about your place in life

Something magical happens around age 25. You start thinking that you are making a mark on the world around you- that you have a place, and it is a spot that caters directly to your talents and desires. Maybe you haven’t found the place yet, but you are aware that exists, and you must find it.

15. You can literally do anything that you want to do.

Want to quit your job, pack up and travel the world? Done. Want to start a career? Cool. Want to settle down and have a family? Your choice. Want to give up modern technology and live in the woods? Be my guest.

16. Your happiness is up to you.

Not anyone else. No one is going to be able to give you the feeling of fulfillment that only comes when you’ve found what you want to do and how you want to do it. Are you unhappy? Do something about it. Find a puppy and pet it. Listen to Christmas music whenever you want. Drink hot chocolate, but soak your marshmallows in baileys first.

17. Fashion is all about confidence.

Literally. Today I wore blue glitter lipstick. And I got compliments.

I consider this proof that you can pull off that leopard print pantsuit, or those suspenders with that hat.

18. People look up to you.

Maybe you have no idea this is happening. It could be a younger friend, a sister, a niece, a cousin. You have an impact on others. Look around you. It probably will be someone you don’t expect. Investing in these people is worth its weight in gold.

19. The words you say make an impact on people.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I like to pretend that I can be as sarcastic as I want, as blunt as I feel, and toss around as many cuss words as my heart so desires without it being a big deal. Which is true, around some people, but not everyone. It’s important that you watch the way you talk to people who don’t know you as well, or who you’re working within a professional environment, or who is younger or more sensitive than you.

20. If you want to, you can eat sushi every day.

Or grilled cheese sandwiches. Or kale salad. Or Nutella. Because you are an adult, damn it.

21. You can now rent a car with no ridiculous restrictions

What? I couldn’t do that before?! Nope. You had to sign practically half of your life away, and it was way more expensive before. So there you go. Travel, and rent a car.

22. You can say “no.”

I repeat, WHAT? I can say no to things and that is perfectly acceptable?! YES.

I mean no. I mean, what?

23. You have an opinion, and it matters. It deserves to be heard.

Those things that you think? They count. Someone said something that offended you? You are allowed to have emotions. The things you think and feel are valid. You are a person. You matter.

24. How you wake up matters.

At some point, you’re going to have to learn how to get up in the morning without wanting to kill yourself. The way you start your day can change how your whole day runs. Whether you are late for work or school, or whether you have a moment to sit down with an omelet and a stop at Starbucks. For me, I have to put a sweatshirt right by my bed that tells me that I will be okay, I will survive when I get out of bed and I will not freeze my butt off. Okay maybe this isn’t an issue for everyone, and maybe I’m still working on it, but hey, I have 2 ½ months left of being 25.

25. You just have to learn some of those annoying things.

Like how to pick out a light bulb that will not explode once you attach it and turn it on. And how to change a tire. And that it’s super important to buy toilet bowl cleaner or else your bathroom is foul. And that you can’t vacuum your upstairs apartment at 2 a.m. without your downstairs neighbors complaining.

Being 25 really isn’t that bad.

I promise.

Welcome.