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25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

The most 'cringy' dad jokes you can't help but laugh at.

Sarah Kotlan

Aug 29, 2017

University of Wisconsin Milwaukee

1163

25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

youtube.com

1. I’m reading this book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

– Niceonedad.com

2. I’d like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the streets.

- Niceonedad.com

3. I bought shoes from a dealer one day. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

- Niceonedad.com

4. What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1

– treehut.co

5. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

- Niceonedad.com

6. “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later. Call me dad

- Niceonedad.com

7. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing

-Niceonedad.com

8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

- Niceonedad.com

9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

- Niceonedad.com

10. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple days off.

– treehut.co

11. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

- Niceonedad.com

12. Why can’t you have a nose that is twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

- Niceonedad.com

13. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

- pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

14. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind I shouldn’t spread it.

– treehut.co

15. A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father. “Well son now that you’ve got a kid of your own I think it’s time to give you this.” “Dad you don’t mean—“ “Yes son I do.” Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition. “Dad I’m honored…,” he says, tears sparkling in his eyes. “Hi honored,” Replies his father. “I’m dad.”

– treehut.co

16. My doctor said I have Type A blood, but it was a type O.

– ranker.com

17. If a child refuses to take a nap is he resisting a rest?

– treehut.co

18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

– treehut.co

19. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

- Niceonedad.com

20. You know how birds fly in a V formation and often times one side of the V is longer than the other – Do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side.

- funsubstance.com

21. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

- funsubstance.com

22. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry, he woke up.

- laffgaff.com

23. I was thinking about moving to Moscow, but there’s no point Russian into things.

– ranker.com

24. I’m afraid for the calendar. It’s days are numbered

– ranker.com

25. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bi-son.

– ranker.com

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

The most 'cringy' dad jokes you can't help but laugh at.

1. I’m reading this book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

2. I’d like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the streets.

3. I bought shoes from a dealer one day. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

4. What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1

5. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

6. “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later. Call me dad

7. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing

8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

10. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple days off.

11. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

12. Why can’t you have a nose that is twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

13. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

14. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind I shouldn’t spread it.

16. My doctor said I have Type A blood, but it was a type O.

17. If a child refuses to take a nap is he resisting a rest?

18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

19. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

20. You know how birds fly in a V formation and often times one side of the V is longer than the other – Do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side.

21. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

22. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry, he woke up.

23. I was thinking about moving to Moscow, but there’s no point Russian into things.

24. I’m afraid for the calendar. It’s days are numbered

25. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bi-son.

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The Stages of Having FOMO in College

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15 Struggles Of Having A Resting Bitch Face

Yes, I'm fine. No, I'm not mad about anything.

1. People always asking if I'm ok

2. "Are you mad?"

3. Having to approach potential new friends first because they might be intimidated by you.

4. Getting complaints at work that you "look mean".

5. Having to literally force yourself to smile around new people.

6. "I always thought you were mean before I met you!"

7. I could be having the best day of my life and my face would still look like this:

8. When people start badgering you with questions if you're ok, you actually do start to become a little irritated and annoyed.

9. It makes your blood boil when someone tells you to smile more.

10. Constantly having to reassure people that you're happy.

11. The exhaustion that comes after having to fake a smile.

12. People always think you're judging them.

13. Trying to make your face look like a ray of sunshine, but giving up because it's too hard.

14. Feeling like you're over smiling when you're just smiling like a regular person.

15. When you really are in a bad mood and people just think it's another day for you.

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2. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

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5. Fred and George Weasley

6. Katniss and Peeta

7. Santa and Mrs. Claus

8. Cat and Dog from "CatDog"

9. Tommy Pickles and Chuckie Finster

10. Luke and Leia

11. R2D2 and C3PO

12. Chewie and Han Solo

13. Lori and Monty

14. Lilo and Stitch

15. Forrest Gump and Benjamin Buford “Bubba" Blue

16. Prince George and Princess Charlotte

17. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley

18. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

19. Captain America and Bucky Barnes

20. Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon

21. Dylan and Cole Sprouse

22. Mickey and Minnie Mouse

23. Donald and Daisy Duck

24. Snoop Dogg and weed

25. Prince Charming and Cinderella

26. Peanut Butter and Jelly

27. Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr

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