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25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

The most 'cringy' dad jokes you can't help but laugh at.

Sarah Kotlan

Aug 29, 2017

University of Wisconsin Milwaukee

1163

25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

youtube.com

1. I’m reading this book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

– Niceonedad.com

2. I’d like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the streets.

- Niceonedad.com

3. I bought shoes from a dealer one day. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

- Niceonedad.com

4. What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1

– treehut.co

5. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

- Niceonedad.com

6. “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later. Call me dad

- Niceonedad.com

7. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing

-Niceonedad.com

8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

- Niceonedad.com

9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

- Niceonedad.com

10. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple days off.

– treehut.co

11. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

- Niceonedad.com

12. Why can’t you have a nose that is twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

- Niceonedad.com

13. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

- pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

14. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind I shouldn’t spread it.

– treehut.co

15. A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father. “Well son now that you’ve got a kid of your own I think it’s time to give you this.” “Dad you don’t mean—“ “Yes son I do.” Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition. “Dad I’m honored…,” he says, tears sparkling in his eyes. “Hi honored,” Replies his father. “I’m dad.”

– treehut.co

16. My doctor said I have Type A blood, but it was a type O.

– ranker.com

17. If a child refuses to take a nap is he resisting a rest?

– treehut.co

18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

– treehut.co

19. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

- Niceonedad.com

20. You know how birds fly in a V formation and often times one side of the V is longer than the other – Do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side.

- funsubstance.com

21. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

- funsubstance.com

22. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry, he woke up.

- laffgaff.com

23. I was thinking about moving to Moscow, but there’s no point Russian into things.

– ranker.com

24. I’m afraid for the calendar. It’s days are numbered

– ranker.com

25. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bi-son.

– ranker.com

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

25 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Sigh So Hard You'll Laugh

The most 'cringy' dad jokes you can't help but laugh at.

1. I’m reading this book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

2. I’d like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the streets.

3. I bought shoes from a dealer one day. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

4. What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1

5. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

6. “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later. Call me dad

7. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing

8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

10. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple days off.

11. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

12. Why can’t you have a nose that is twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

13. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

14. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind I shouldn’t spread it.

16. My doctor said I have Type A blood, but it was a type O.

17. If a child refuses to take a nap is he resisting a rest?

18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

19. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

20. You know how birds fly in a V formation and often times one side of the V is longer than the other – Do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side.

21. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

22. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry, he woke up.

23. I was thinking about moving to Moscow, but there’s no point Russian into things.

24. I’m afraid for the calendar. It’s days are numbered

25. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bi-son.

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It seems like life has been serving up more bad than good and in all honesty, the only thing you want to do is crawl under your covers and hide from the rest of the world.

1. There are people who love you and want to be there for you.

2. It is OKAY to need alone time.

3. The outcome of the issue that you are stressing over probably is not as bad as you are imagining.

4. Just because you are feeling unmotivated does not mean you should give up.

5. God is there, even when you do not feel like He is.

Thank you.

"What's more important? What we become or how we become it?"

Stay True To Yourself

Society Is Full Of Double Standards

You Can Always Get Through The Hard Times

Don't Be Afraid To Fall In Love

People Will Label You

Don't Settle For Less Than You Deserve

People Can Change

Stay Loyal To Your Friends

Beauty Doesn't Have A Size

Wait For The Guy

Believe In Yourself, Even When Nobody Else Does

Make yourself at home, why don't you?

You come home and they're already in your room.

They help themselves to all your food.

Your clothes are their clothes.

They've requested their own space in your closet.

People are shocked when they find out you're not roommates.

They've added their name to your door.

Sometimes they sleep in your bed even though they have their own.

They never knock.

They leave their miscellaneous items all over your room while you and your actual roommate wonder who's stuff it is...

Sometimes they follow you into the bathroom while you shower so they can talk to you.

No matter how much they're in your space, you wouldn't have it any other way.

She may not be with you 24/7 but it's all good because you're soul sisters.

Her friends will become your friends.

You get to see how your best friend acts around other people.

You'll feel like a proud mom.

She'll ask your opinion.

She'll send snaps of you to them.

Your social calendar will become a little more crowded.

You get to see her genuinely happy.

The time y'all spend together will be even more special.

She'll always have a story to tell you.

You know she will always love you.

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