1. Missing a workout or fitness class is worse to you then missing actual class.
2. You long for the front desk person to say, “you’re back again!” It’s music to your ears.
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3. Similarly, you take pride in being the last person in the gym. This means you’re truly dedicated and no one can mess with that.
4. Gym clothes make up at least 50% of your wardrobe and 90% of your birthday and Christmas lists.
5. In fact, if you calculate how much you spend on your gym membership, pre-workout, protein drink mix, fitness apparel, etc., you could have paid for at least a semester of college. Maybe two.
6. Spending an average of three hours at the gym is normal to you. Why rush when you’re so happy here? There’s everything you could ever need.
7. You schedule dates around your gym schedule. You say, “Well, I’m working out at 8 p.m., so I could do like 10:30 p.m. for a movie or something.” If your date can’t accept that then you know it will never work. Like ever.
8. Speaking of, you’re nearly certain that you couldn’t date someone who doesn’t do, like, any physical activity at all. Who would you talk to about your workouts? Your cat?
9. When people ask you to name a list of the top five things you’re thankful for or couldn’t live without, your gym membership is one of them.
10. You are truly baffled by people who don’t workout… what do they do? How do they eat whatever they want and be okay with it? These people confuse you.
11. You welcome the itchy sensation you get all over your body from drinking pre-workout.
12. It’s the worst when you get to the gym and realize you’ve forgotten your headphones (such a rookie mistake). You contemplate leaving because what is a workout without your pump up playlist? So, you either leave and get your headphones or sing to yourself like the gym-crazed lunatic that you are.
13. Those people who stand next to you while you’re lifting your heaviest only to be lifting 5 lbs more are the reason why you won’t be able to fully extend your arms tomorrow.
14. Those people who hover over you while you’re resting, impatiently waiting to use the machine, are the people who’s face you imagine bashing in while you’re doing your set.
15. You feel sympathy for the people who have no effing clue what they’re doing but take ten years using the machine or weights you want. Most would get frustrated, but you remember what it was like to be a newbie.
16. Seeing people with bad form has become a way of life. You’ve learned to accept it and not let your heart hurt too much while watching them.
17. You constantly have to remind yourself not to get upset with the lazy people who don’t re-rack their weights or wipe their machines down. Not everyone can care as much as you.
18. You’re used to hearing people grunt like there’s no tomorrow when you’re trying to focus on getting your reps in. Your friends think it’s weird when they come with you, but you’re used to the odd sexual sounding noises.
19. The unnerving feeling that there’s someone nearby creeping on you is one that you’ve either learned to ignore or totally embrace. Some people fall in love at the gym, you know. As long as they aren’t too smelly, you’ll let them do their set relatively close to you.
20. You laugh to yourself (or sometimes out loud) when you see someone taking a gym selfie as you’re checking your form in the mirror.
21. That jello-like feeling in your legs that makes it hard to walk after leg day has become a silent trophy to you – a symbol of you kicking ass in the gym. In fact, you don’t mind having to walk up the stairs backwards for the next three days.
22. Similarly, finally recovering from leg day by the time it is leg day again is a regular occurrence. You pity yourself for a moment but do leg day again anyway.
23. The foam roller is your best friend but also your worst nightmare. No other piece of equipment will hurt so bad but feel so good.
24. You embrace the hair slicked with sweat, tomato red face and overly deodorized underarms, knowing full well that all of the saltiness in your eyes, sweat on your back and tremble in your legs is totally worth it.
