Reading texts from boys is always a horrific experience, but for some reason it becomes even worse in the summer.
Whether he has poor grammar, no knowledge of how to hold a conversation, or just a general poor texting etiquette, it's something no girl should ever experience. That being said, we've all experienced the highly inappropriate and unnecessary messages that a guy will send, and if you haven't then you're in luck because I've compiled some of the best texts my friends and I have received this summer and the stories behind them.
***Warning: Some of these texts may have sexual implications***
1. The "wyd" 2am text:
You haven't talked in 5 months and suddenly he texts you at 2 in the morning..yeah, nothing suspicious about that.
2. The "come over" midnight text:
It's midnight, and he hasn't responded all day, yet he expects you to come over and doesn't even wait for you to respond before asking what time you can be there. Yeah, I don't think so buddy, not gonna happen.
3. The "I ghosted you five weeks ago" text:
He stopped talking to you five weeks ago and suddenly he feels the need to text you again. He doesn't really deserve a response, but when you ask him why he's texting you again, all he has to say is:
4. The "I don't know how to speak English" text:
I don't even know how to respond this text. Is this some kind of weird greeting? Is he asking "sup" and just put an 'h' instead of a 'p' because its cooler? If you have any answers, please let me know, thanks.
5. The "I've never used grammar before" text:
How u doin? For some reason, the "how u" phrase was only cool and sexy when Joey from "Friends" said it. When a college graduate says it, he just seems kind of stupid and uneducated.
6. The "Let's go on a date" text:
Are you asking me on a date, or just simply telling me I should go on a date with you? Needless to say, this date never actually happened.
7. The "This is me complimenting you" text:
Yes, I know, please tell me something I don't know.
Yes, I also know this, try again.
8. The "I'm drunk" text:
That's literally the whole text. I'm not sure what you want me to do with this information, but good for you, I guess? Honestly, I wish I was drunk too when you text me.
9. The other kind of "I'm drunk" text:
We haven't talked in weeks, maybe even months, and you text me when you're drunk. Trust me, I'm flattered you think about me when you're drunk, and our FaceTime call was definitely a good one, but why can't you text me back when you're sober too?
10. The "I'm drunk but want to hang out" text:
I'm definitely glad you're being safe and not driving after you've been drinking, but it's 11:30 on a Thursday night. The only place I want to be is in my room, in my pajamas, stuffing my face with popcorn while I watch the latest season of Shameless. Sorry buddy, but I don't think I'll be coming to "scoop" you.
11. The "Without me?" text:
He starts by asking you "whadda ya doing", which loosely translates to "what are you doing". So, of course you tell him, but you forget about the text he'll send you as soon as you reply:
You could have said something as simple as, "Eating cereal" and he'll get offended that you didn't invite him to eat cereal with you. Don't even get me started on the "Just finished showering" response.
12. The "Wanna go to [insert place here]?" text:
You know I wanna go to sheetz, but then again, who wouldn't? Their mozzarella sticks are to die for. I just don't really care for what you want to happen after we go to sheetz - or any other fast food place, for that matter.
13. The "Anyone new??" text:
A rough translation: "Are you single? Because if not, I really wanna get with you." Unfortunately, I haven't met anyone new recently, but he doesn't really need to know that.
14. The "Really? You're single?" text:
I'm not surprised, and you really shouldn't be either considering I'm using a dating app to meet new people.
15. The "Netflix & Chill" text:
As flattering as that is, I'd prefer not to have someone trying to get into my pants while I'm watching The Office - or any other show, really. Really, it's okay, we can just sit here and watch the TV show or movie, it doesn't bother me at all.
16. The "Call me daddy" text:
I kid you not, one minute we're talking about homework, and the next he tells me he makes people call him daddy. You can bet that I shut that one down quickly.
17. The "Sit on my face" text:
First of all, no, you saying that is NOT hot. Second, I hope you know you've been blocked and deleted.
18. The "I wanna [do something inappropriate]" text:
Uhm, thanks, but no thanks. All I did was say hi to you, so I think we're done talking now. But it was fun while it lasted, don't you think?
19. The "Can I [do something inappropriate]" text:
NOPE, you absolutely cannot! You don't know me, I don't know you, this conversation is over, thank you very much.
20. The "Send nudes" text:
How about no? It's a Tuesday night, I already took my makeup off, and I'm about to go to sleep, so I think I'll pass this time around, and next time, and the time after that, and probably every time after that too. At least he didn't send this though:
That's even worse.
21. The "Here's my [insert eggplant emoji here]" text:
We all knows guy who will gladly send you their junk, without consent. Next time, just send him a picture of you cutting up a hot dog or beating a banana with a bat. Hopefully he'll get the message.
22. The "I hate you" text:
Me too, buddy. In all honesty, if you hate me, then why even take the time to text me.
23. The "Just friends" text:
I won't lie, it kind of stung to read these words, but being friends is totally fine with me. At least, it would've been if you hadn't ghosted me five days before and left my invitation to go get coffee on "Read". But, that's none of my business. *sips coffee*
24. The "Not going to text back" text:
Probably the worst text you could get from a guy, especially one you're emotionally invested in, is no text. How about instead of ghosting me, you just let me know that you're not looking for the same thing I am?
