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23 Reasons 2016 was Absolutely Absurd

Put this poor year out of its misery.

Jill McDonnell

Dec 19, 2016

University of Pittsburgh

Times Magazine

It's no secret. 2016 was one of the most bizarre years in history. Normally around this time we reflect on fun times from this year and and prepare for the next one. But this time, let's take a stroll back down memory lane (which I'm guessing is some dimly lit alley full of garbage and diseased rats) and talk about all the ridiculous things that this poor year has witnessed.

1. The water bottle challenge

Teachers would probably say that this was one of the worst.

2. Harambe was murdered...

3. And then people mourned him more than actual humans who were killed

#JusticeForHarambe was trending.

Speaking of ruthless killings:

4. Orlando, Charleston, and other mass shootings

5. Terrorist attacks in Brussels, Nice, Syria, etc.

6. Aleppo

7. When the world ignored the refugee crisis

8. The whip and nae nae

Just no.

9. The heated battle over WHERE PEOPLE CAN USE THE DAMN BATHROOM

WHO CARES.

10. Police Brutality

11. And then revenge killings

12. White privilege peaked when Brock Turner spent less than three months in jail FOR VIOLENTLY RAPING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN BEHIND A DUMPSTER

Along with the other dozens of ridiculous sexual assault cases like the one involving ten football players at the University of Minnesota and the Men's soccer team at Harvard.

13. Pokemon GO

Thank god this only lasted for like a week.

14. The death of major figures including Harper Lee, Alan Rickman, Prince, David Bowie, and Muhammad Ali

15. The Mannequin and Running Man Challenges

But Michelle Obama did it, so I guess it's okay...

16. Brexit

17. Trump's Twitter

As HRC would say, delete your account.

18. The dog filter on snap chat ... posted to Instagram

19. Tomi Lahren

My eyes physically can't roll back into my head as far as they'd like to. I can't decide if I'd take away her social media accounts or Trump's first.

20. New life for the Alt-Right movement

HOW IS THIS STILL A THING. WHY ARE WE GOING BACKWARDS.

21. Papaw's grandkids not joining him for burgers.

But then Twitter made it all better when Papaw's story went viral and hundreds of strangers showed up for his cookout.

22. The attempted Heartbeat Bill in Ohio and other insane anti-abortion measures that have no medical relevance.

An FYI to male legislators who clearly have no idea how pregnancy works: most people don't know they're pregnant until ~6 weeks.

And, by no surprise, the biggest shit show of 2016 is ...

The 2016 election.

And everything that has followed: Bizarre cabinet appointments, a VP who thinks electric shock therapy can cure gays, Russian interference, and Trump refusing intelligence briefings because he's "smarter than U.S. intelligence". UGH.

~Started from the bottom now we ~~here~~ are even deeper into the depths of hell~

I really have no words for how weird2016 was, but luckily Trump being named Times' "Person of the Year" really just summarizes it all for me. You almost start to say "but at least things have to go up from here!" and then you remember that Donald Trump will be president of the United States and accept that the next 4 years are going to be even more weird. Let's celebrate the end of 2016 by drinking so much champagne that we don't remember any of the dumb things that happened in the past twelve months!

*Cheers*

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

Syllabus Week As Told By Kourtney Kardashian

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

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You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

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Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

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Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

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Whether you specialized in ringing people up or preparing the food, if you worked at Panera Bread it holds a special place in your heart. Here are some signs that you worked at Panera in high school.

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

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Recommended for you

23 Reasons 2016 was Absolutely Absurd

Put this poor year out of its misery.

1. The water bottle challenge

2. Harambe was murdered...

3. And then people mourned him more than actual humans who were killed

4. Orlando, Charleston, and other mass shootings

5. Terrorist attacks in Brussels, Nice, Syria, etc.

6. Aleppo

7. When the world ignored the refugee crisis

8. The whip and nae nae

9. The heated battle over WHERE PEOPLE CAN USE THE DAMN BATHROOM

10. Police Brutality

11. And then revenge killings

12. White privilege peaked when Brock Turner spent less than three months in jail FOR VIOLENTLY RAPING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN BEHIND A DUMPSTER

13. Pokemon GO

14. The death of major figures including Harper Lee, Alan Rickman, Prince, David Bowie, and Muhammad Ali

15. The Mannequin and Running Man Challenges

16. Brexit

17. Trump's Twitter

18. The dog filter on snap chat ... posted to Instagram

19. Tomi Lahren

20. New life for the Alt-Right movement

21. Papaw's grandkids not joining him for burgers.

22. The attempted Heartbeat Bill in Ohio and other insane anti-abortion measures that have no medical relevance.

And, by no surprise, the biggest shit show of 2016 is ...

The 2016 election.

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Sadness

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Chips, apple or bread?

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

2. Chips, apple or bread is probably your most repeated phrase

3. Taking bakery items with you out to parties was a must

4. Taking bakery items home to your parents was also a must (if you wanted to live)

5. Your friends expected you to give them free stuff

6. Being put on dishes made you question humanity

7. You saw everyone and their mother (especially their mothers)

8. Working the opening shift was actually the worst thing to ever happen to you

9. Being able to predict what people would order

10. Making coffee was your least favorite thing to do

11.Being put on the dining room was the absolute WORST

12. Secretly putting in your Panera card number when other people didn’t have them or want them.

13. You would still come in on days you weren’t working to take advantage of your discount

It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

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