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22 Thoughts We Have Before Our Morning Coffee

Life begins after our first sip of coffee.

Nicole Talbot

Dec 13, 2016

Community College of Rhode Island

384

22 Thoughts We Have Before Our Morning Coffee

skinnytimetea.com

So you know how humans are made of 60% water? Well on any given day my body is made of 60% coffee. Just kidding... it is more like 90% coffee. I have truly considered what it would be like to live with an IV drip of freshly brewed french vanilla coffee. Can someone make that happen for me? If you are anything like myself and half of the human population, you cannot function as a real person without at least one sip of coffee. Here are some thoughts we all have before that special magic touches our lips...

First Waking Up...

1. So when can I sneak back into bed for a nap?

2. If I lie here under the covers no one will find me.

3. I need to move my Keurig to my nightstand.

4. Why doesn't my dog know how to make me coffee yet?

5. Please don't make me get up, I don't deserve to get out of bed.

6. Adulting is not happening today.

7. If I get up in 10 more minutes that is plenty of time to get ready...right?

Getting Ready...

8. I have to choose between shower or coffee...coffee wins.

9. Pants are on backwards, I might just leave them that way.

10. Who is texting me at this un-holy hour???

11. If I stare at my coffee will it brew faster? I bet it will.

12. Sorry pup, you are not going outside until this coffee is in my belly. Hold it.

13. Everything you just said to me will have to be repeated after my coffee.

14. Seriously I am not listening to you.

15. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME RIGHT NOW?

After That First Sip...

16. Today is going to be great!

17. I love work, I love traffic, I love the person who cut me off, I love coffee!

18. I am going to climb Mount Everest today!

19. Just kidding, but maybe I will work out.

20. I am going to ace this class, well at least be conscious.

21. Life isn't so bad.

22. I am ready for my next cup please.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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22 Thoughts We Have Before Our Morning Coffee

Life begins after our first sip of coffee.

First Waking Up...

Getting Ready...

After That First Sip...

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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