Growing up is scary. I know I don't really have to remind anyone of that fact, but for some odd reason when I was under the age of 10 I honestly couldn't wait for it. If I could go back now I'd smack the urge right out of my 9 year old little head. Listen when I say that, although turning 21 was a pretty cool mile stone, I still have no clue how to handle being an adult and taking care of myself on a daily basis is going to turn out. Now I do fully understand that over the years I've learned an incredible amount and considering state of the fellow young adults around me I'm not alone in the least. In fact I really believe that you can easily be in your 30s and 40s and still not know how in the world to handle all the responsibility that comes with adulthood. So as my 22nd year approaches I have compiled a list of things that I have learned within those years that have shaped me as, not only as an adult but also as a person.
1. Be honest
When you break something as vital as trust it's such a hard thing to regain. So over the years I have come to understand that honesty punishes you less and gains trust more and that is something we can all take extra lessons on.
2. People are good.
No one is perfect. People lie, cheat, steal, kill, etc. Everyone has some good inside them no matter how deep it may be.
3. Nothing is free.
Everything costs something. Whether its time, money, or even emotion.
4. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.
In this life there will be situations, people, and places that will cross our paths and we are going to get hurt. Pain comes in so many forms, but it always comes and when it does no matter what the transgression the ability to forgive it is an incredible gift and opportunity.
5. Don't sweat the small things
It will make it so much easier to forgive, love, and just be kind. The urge to jump to being negative is so tiring. This will always help us to fight the inevitable cynicism of growing older.
6. Drink wine
Don't ever let yourself believe that a glass of wine at any point in the day or year is the wrong thing to do. Besides, you've earned it regardless
7. Consider all advice
Whether you agree with it or not, advice in whatever form it may take can always be pondered.
8. Life is never fair
Throwing a fit and saying that things aren't fair can only get you the response "life isn't fair." I have no real thought out explanation for this other then that was my fathers practiced response over the course of my childhood and the older I got the more it just made sense.
9. Bubble baths are never a bad idea
Seriously. Bubbles, warm water, maybe a candle, some wine, and relaxation. What gets better than that?!
10. How you treat people matters
If you treat others like an asshole chances are that you won't get anything much warmer in return, if anything at all. If you treat someone with kindness then they, in turn, will also be more inclined to do so. Simple. I don't see how this needs much more explanation on my part.
11. Relationships come and go
There's no point in throwing yourself a pity party and shutting yourself off because "everyone always leaves anyway." The simple truth here is that no matter what and no matter who, wether its a romantic relationship or a friendship, people are going to come and go. It just happens. Whining and crying about it isn't going to change that. If you have to beg someone to stay then chances are they shouldn't be in your life in the first place.
12. Love
Don't let it pass you by but don't forget to feel it or give it every chance you get. Loving people is such an act of unconditional selflessness that if you shut yourself off from it then the only real person you are hurting is yourself.
13. You're only young once
Make it count. Take the chances that only come when you're this innocent. Do silly things and don't think about what others think. Your youth is just that, yours. One day your going to wake up and wonder how in the world time moved so fast through all the good stuff. That's also the catch isn't it, we don't ever truly realize that its all good stuff until were older and can't do things like we once were able.
14. Procrastination is useless
Really. No matter how many times I've told myself this very same phrase or even had it proven to me I think this is a lesson that will always be known but heeded as if we only grasp the half of it.
15. Smile
Smiling I think is one of the main reasons I have stayed sane as long as I have in this life. Smiles express so many things, wether it's happiness, bliss, joy, or even to hide sadness. A smile, regardless of it's intention is an act of true and believable positivity. Which is never wrong.
16. Attitude is everything
Also in connection with reality vs. expectation. If you put it into your head that something is going to turn out horribly then through your own attitude you have done nothing to remedy the situation any closer to a more positive outcome. Go into everything with determination and appreciation and you can never truly lose. I promise you.
17. Try it.
When I was young I always proclaimed that I wasn't good at anything. I had only attempted 2 sports and 3 extracurriculars when I was young and thus not picking up the certain affinity for them I sort of threw in the towel over all. Little did I know that the world is made of things that we may or may not be good at. Who's to say that only attempting a hand full means that the rest aren't even worth the time? Plus if I would have continued to dislike Chinese food, solely on the basis that I thought it looked gross, I wouldn't have discovered it was one of the best types of food out there!
18. Things just happen
Planning in most all things is useless. No matter how much preparation you attempt to obtain for anything there is a possibility that it can all be blown away in a fraction of the time it took to come about in the first place. We must learn to accept these things and understand that it is merely a fact of life. It's okay to be angry or sad but in the end we must all accept the things we cannot change.
19. Do not go quietly into the night
Fight. If there is something you believe in then fight for it. Opinions and ideas have so much more power than anyone realizes. Don't say oh well and give up. If believe that you can make a difference then whats stopping you?
20. Drink more water
Our body is made of 75% of the stuff isn't that reason enough? Love and respect your body because we only get one.
21. Read more books
Knowledge is power and power changes the world. Read everything you can get your hands on and relish in your ability to do so. Books are some of the greatest adventures I've ever been on in my life so far.
22. No one has it all figured out
Now pay attention, because you by no means have to wait until you're 22 to figure this out. You could be 9 or 99 and come to this realization. Even if you work your whole life trying to, you will be exhausted and still be as lost as everyone else. So I say this, take solace in the fact, enjoy all the moments and lessons this life teaches you for we have no way of knowing if we'll ever get another.
