In "The Lion King," Mufasa tells Simba, "Everything the light touches is our kingdom." Sexism and gender roles follow pretty much the same rules, in that everything the light touches has been altered or changed because of them. Gender is a social construct that we, as humans created, so technically everything is unnecessarily gendered. Also, let's not forget the fact that gender roles don't take into account that "gender" itself is fluid and not simply binary. However, all of that aside for now, here is a list of 22 items that really take the cake for being pointlessly gendered.
1. Sunscreen
The sun will smite anyone who wears the wrong sunscreen, obviously.
2. Ear Plugs
The pink color helps stop the sounds of not only sexist jokes, but catcalls too!
3. Pens
I wouldn't want to get carpal tunnel from writing with men's pens. Now, if only there was pink paper that would prevent my delicate hands from getting paper cuts.
4. Tape
Is it made to silence our voices from speaking about the insanity that are these gender roles?
5. Q-tips
Don't be fooled, Q-tips are not just for makeup removing, they're for building too. What they're used to build I couldn't tell you, but Stacey Dillsen could probably give you a few pointers.
6. Kid's Toys
Do they come with pink scrubs too?
7. Candy
Even your favorite childhood snack is no longer free of sexism.
8. Shampoo
For all the women who don't want to buy shampoo, conditioner, and body wash separately, you're out of luck. It looks like this is only for men. Too bad really, I love citrus mint.
9. Body Wash
Obviously women don't want to be comfortable, fresh, and clean.
10. Dryer Sheets
I guess doing a load of laundry with men's and women's clothes is eternally out of the question.
11. Cheese
They managed to perpetuate gender roles and body shaming all at once. Killing the game Lucerne.
12. Razors
Same amount of blades, same company, same purpose. Oh, I know, it must be the blue plastic handle that makes it $1.41 more expensive! Silly me.
13. Deodorant
I thought women didn't sweat? They sparkle.
14. Donuts
What does "snack like a man" even mean?
15. Hand Sanitizer
"Studly Apple," need I say more?
16. Goldfish
If I eat them will I turn into a princess? That'd be cool.
17. Globes
At least the water is blue.
18. Bread
Here I was, thinking women were only allowed to make sandwiches, not eat them.
19. Beer
Does it come from chickens?
20. Vegetables
They have found a way to gender salad. This is why we can't have nice things.
21. Trail Mix
Apparently "vitality" is more expensive than "energy," even though they mean the same thing. It's a food metaphor for the wage gap. How fun.
22. Candles
"Proud" is not the word that I would use.
Did you find these products ridiculous in nature? Well, this may come as surprising, or unsurprising, but you, my friend, are indeed a feminist. You see no point to separating trail mix, cheese, or vegetables by gender and if you think about it for a little while, you'll probably realize there are other issues of inequality that you find ridiculous too. However, what you choose to do about it is up to you.
Did I miss any of your favorite ridiculously gendered products? List them below in the comments section so that everyone can see the lengths that gender roles really go to.