Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were going to die tomorrow, learn as if you were going to live forever.” After turning 23 a few days ago, I found myself spending a great deal of time reflecting on key lessons I have learned over the years. Each lesson was learned through experience and not always the easy way, yet each lesson has ultimately molded me into the person I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful.
The following are 22 key take-aways I want to share with all of you in hopes to make your life a little more joyous.
1. Judge yourself by how you overcome your mistakes, not by your mistakes.
In life you will make mistakes every single day. Some are big and some are small and some mistakes will make you doubt how you will ever be able to forgive yourself, yet take each experience as an opportunity to grow. A life without growth isn’t much of a life at all. Understanding that mistakes are a part of ultimately making life better not only allows you to live a happier life, but it allows you to be more compassionate and understanding of others when they too make mistakes. Don't ever forget, just because you fail, doesn't mean you are a failure.
2. Life will never go how you plan.
From the time you are a child, many of us have been asked what we want to be when we grow up. I know for me in particular, I was expected to come dressed up in my dream job dress attire in the third grade for what they described as “career day” then had a full blown argument with my teacher when she said, “it wasn’t realistic to come dressed up as a princess.” Life is all about having the ability to change your mind, to find your passions and to ultimately discover the things that make you feel alive. Having a plan is important but when life begins to take you astray from that plan, embraces it in all of its forms. The only thing you can truly ever plan for in life is that life will go on, even when you don’t understand how or why.
3. Make a Bucket List and check things off.
As we all know we only have one life to live, so live it courageously. Make a list of the thing you want the most out of life and strive to make them happen. They don’t have to make sense, yet these things will be the things you will one day cherish the most.
4. Allow yourself to get lost.
I’ve learned that getting lost is sometimes how we end up finding ourselves. Sometimes in order to grow as a person we have understand what it’s like to wonder around a foreign city with nothing but a map, little native language and a wanderlust spirit. I used to hate not knowing where life was taking me, but the older I have gotten the more I have realized I live to be surprised. I have grown to admire and appreciate the unknown and have realized in the moments how much unknown lies within me. In the moments I feel like I don’t know what direction to head, I believe it's important to use your heart as a guide and if you do that you will never truly be lost.
5. Cherish being alone.
In today’s society many people in my generation fear being alone. We settle for people and places that don’t really make us happy because many of us hate the silence. We rather invest our time in the wrong person than invest in the fact that the right person isn’t present in our lives yet. We spend so much time seeking fulfillment in temporary things before coming to the realization we can find fulfillment within ourselves. I have came to realize I would rather spend my life investing in myself than investing in distractions. Being alone ultimately makes you a better person. It allows you to discover all the things that make up who you are and makes you realize how special you are as a person. The more I have been alone the more I have realized who and what I want in my life and has allowed me to love myself in all of my forms, without the need or approval of anyone else.
6. Make everyday an adventure.
Each and everyday is not one that is promised to us. Many people today get so caught up in their daily routines, bi-weekly paychecks and monthly bills that many of us forget what makes up a life. We are all created to do more than work a 9-5 job, clean the house, run errands and wake up and do it all over again. We are made to make each and everyday an adventure. Adventures can be found all around you, and I challenge you to find them. Refuse to accept normal. Refuse to be stagnate. Take everyday as it comes and enjoy the little things each day brings. Life is meant to be lived. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Do the things you thought you never could and improve the things you have already accomplished. Make everyday the opportunity for growth and find comfort in all life has to offer.
7. Challenge your comfort zone.
Someone once told me, we are all going to end up in a box, so why would we want to live in one? Life is meant to be lived overstepping boundaries, accomplishing things far beyond anything you could ever imagine and being content with the idea of living in the moment. The moments we are able to grow the most as a person is in the mist of looking down from the top of a mountain that we thought we could never climb.
8. Friends can become family and family can become friends.
Through the years I have realized that friendships I developed turned into some of the deepest relationships that I have. Through all the laughs, tears, memories and fears, I challenge all of you to find friends like that. Find the ones who make you better and refuse to let you fall. Find the one's who will fight for you and with you if you need to be put in place. Find the friends you can invest in and the ones who will ultimately be one of your biggest legacies.
9. Experience the people around you as much as possible.
In this day and age its easy to focus on all the bad this world has to offer. It easy to focus into the news and label all people as bad due to mass shootings, murder, violence, discrimination, war and a queue of other things. Many of us walk past people sleeping on the streets next to their "need food" sign on our way to Starbucks without thinking twice. Many of us avoid eye contact with those sitting across from us in order to avoid conversation, yet what is life all about if it isn't lived for others? Take each day to reach out to those around you, love those who are often forgotten about and to learn what makes them who they are. Some of the most important life lessons I have ever learned came from children who fearlessly loved the world for what it was and from elders who aimed to make it better.
10. Expect the worst, but hope for the best.
Go into every experience expecting for the worst to happen, yet hoping for the best. I started doing this my freshman year of college and it has done tremendous wonders in my life. Wither it was stressing out about giving a big speech or traveling to the other side of the world, I went in it with absolutely no expectations which always made me extremely happy when things went well and less disappointed when things didn’t go in my favor. I started out applying this to a few areas of my life but it eventually carried over into almost all aspects. It has allowed me to better analyze the risks associated with certain things which has lead me to make me make better decisions and overall more grateful for the joys of life.
11. People will let you down. Love them anyways.
People will always let you down. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes each and everyday and sometimes even multiple times a day. They will break your heart and at times make you feel like you will never be able to put it back together, but take the risk of love anyways. Don’t be scared to give a little piece of yourself to everyone you encounter. Be willing to love people in a world that is filled with so much hate. Love is scary and isn’t suppose to be easy, yet its always worth it. It might not be worth it today or tomorrow or maybe even 10 years from now, but love changes the world with one person at a time. The more love there is in it, the better off we will all be.
12. Follow your heart, but use your head.
Life will take you a lot of crazy places. Places that sometimes don’t make sense or make you question a great deal about yourself and things around you, yet I’ve learned a lot of things that come from your heart aren’t meant to make sense. Your heart can lead you to serve others in a job that might not be the best for you financially, yet fulfills you in ways money never could. It can bring you to the other side of the world to serve other or gives you the ability to serve others right where you are. The thing about this is only you know what is best for you even if you cant see that now. Nobody else can tell you what to do, where to do it, how to do it or who to do it with. It lies within you- you just have to search for the answers within your heart and use your head to make it happen.
13. Money will never solve your real problems.
Money is a tool, a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems. There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.
14. Pace yourself.
Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose and do it all at the same time.
Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.
15. Embrace your uniqueness.
Out of the 7 billion people on this Earth, there is only one you; embrace it. Share your ideas, be silly, be courageously imperfect, express originality in all that you do, dance when you can and don’t ever let anyone steal your joy. Love yourself in all of your forms and above all else, dare to be different.
16. There’s no shame in not knowing.
No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection. We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life. Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.
17. Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice.
That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible. Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful. Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard, but it is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.
18. Hurt people hurt other people.
Life is about experiencing as many people as you can, yet not all of these experiences will be good ones. It is common for people who have been hurt in the past to continually hurt people, for it is often the only defense mechanism. Aim to understand the reasoning behind it and understand that often these are the people who need love the most.
19. Don’t ever be too grown up to jump on a bed.
Don’t ever take life to seriously. There is a time and a place to be an adult but sometimes life just calls you to jump on a bed. Embrace those moments. Take some time to be free from responsibilities and find ways to channel your inner kid. It’s hard to be mad when you jump on a bed and eat junk food for dinner. Don’t stress the little things and don’t try to solve all the big things overnight. If all that fails set up a fort in your house and escape from the adult world for a little while.
20. The hardest battles create the strongest soldiers.
In life we are all going to face battles. They are all different in their own ways yet we never have to face any battle alone. Battles are meant to make us stronger and to make us realize how much we can overcome and how much we have in common with those around us.
21. There is beauty in brokenness.
The older I’ve gotten the more I have realized how much I still have to learn, to experience and to overcome. Everyday we are all faced with a hundred different challenges and the beautiful thing is even in the times we don’t have it all figured out that’s when we get to began to put the pieces back together.
