It can be easy to forget how important you are to me, Mom. With every passing day as I go through the motions of my busy daily routines, the lessons you taught me echo in my mind. You might feel like you aren’t as influential as you were when I lived down the hall from you, but your advice is just as important, if not even more, now that I’m away. These lessons range from simple daily reminders to significant guidance that shaped who I am today

1. Take jealousy as a compliment.

There will always be judgmental people in and out of my life. She reminds me to not let their negativity affect the way I see myself.

2. Open yourself up to new ideas.

Don’t look at life through a tunnel, I need to keep my eyes open and don’t be afraid to try new things.

3. Know your worth.

My mom taught me never to settle, and to never lower my standards out of desperation, loneliness, or insecurity.

4. Work hard.

“If you aren’t willing to put the time in, someone else will.”

5. Love yourself first.

I can’t be happy with someone if I am not happy with myself.

6. Be resilient.

No matter what comes my way, I know I can handle it because my mom got back up even stronger every time she fell.

7. Don’t let other people take credit for your work.

I watched my mom work late nights, early mornings, holidays, and weekends without complaint to get to the place she wanted to be. She taught me take credit for my hard work.

8. Family comes first.

My family has been there since the beginning, and they will stay there until the end. Appreciate them despite the differences.

9. Be present.

So much time can get wasted when I’m constantly obsessing over “what’s next, what’s next, what’s next.” I need to appreciate the moment I’m in while I’m in it.

10. Everything happens for a reason.

“When is it going to get better?” I would ask, but my mom told that there’s a reason for every heartbreak, disappointment, missed opportunity, or just bad day. “You might not know why this happened to you now, but you will.”

11. Listen.

I can’t get to know someone if all I do is talk. My mom told me to close my mouth sometimes, and just listen.

12. Surround yourself with good people.

I need to surround myself with people that lift me up instead of bring me down. A few close friends that support you unconditionally are more valuable than hundreds of acquaintances.

13. Pick your battles.

Sometimes people are going to hurt me, disappoint me, or bother me, but some of those battles just aren’t worth fighting. I have to bite my tongue, take a breath, and just let it go.

14. Be your own cheerleader.

My mom always says to me “give yourself credit!” Sometimes all I need is a pat on the back, and there’s no shame in doing it myself.

15. The 5 Year Rule.

“Will this matter in five years? If not, then don’t waste five minutes worrying about it.”

16. Take chances on people.

It’s inevitable that people are going to hurt me. I’m going to get disappointed and upset, but if I don’t take chances on relationships I will never find those I can open up to and trust.

17. Apologize.

If I do something wrong, I need to admit it. Apologizing is the only way to learn how to consistently do what’s right. No matter how stubborn I am, other people don’t deserve to be hurt and then forgotten about.

18. Make time for yourself.

Sometimes, I just need to be by myself. “Solitude isn’t lonely, it’s necessary.”

19. Don’t stress over things you can’t control.

If I can’t do anything about a problem now, it’s not worth stressing over. I have to hear my mom’s voice reminding me “that life doesn’t follow a schedule or plan, and the sooner you realize that, the happier you’ll be.”

20. Help others help themselves.

If someone needs me, I have to be there for them. If I want unconditional support from others, I have to provide it for them too.

21. “You deserve to be happy.”

Thank you, Mom: for molding me into the person I am today. I would be so lost if I didn’t have you as my role model, teaching me, supporting me, guiding me, loving me, and being the person I want to grow up and become. I love you!