In a few days, I will be 22. I don't feel any different at all. Its just another day. My mom warned me this would happen, birthdays become less important and you care a little less each year. Honestly, 21 sucked. A lot. No more or less than any year, but I learned a lot about myself, who I am, who I want to be. Sure I'm not where I want to be yet and sure I'm not done growing. As much as 21 sucked, it was a year of self reflection. I realized a lot, but most importantly I learned a lot of really tough lessons in 22 years.

1. No one has it together even if they seem like they do.

In 2018, we live in a world of everyone interacting on social media. We have gotten into of a habit of only posting our triumphs. Just because that is all we talk about, it is easy to forget that we all have our issues, our insecurities, flaws, problems, etc. I always forget that we all hate something about ourselves even if it is just a little bit.

2. If you think everyone has the same heart as you, you are going to end up really freaking disappointed

I think this was one of the hardest lessons for me. I may not act like it, but I love people. And I love hard. And I also have no problem telling people that I love that I love them. But sometimes people don't love hard and don't love back. And while that is ok, it is a hard reality check accepting that people aren't always going to have the same feelings as you do. Not everyone loves in the same way. I guess this also could fall under the "just because your a nice person doesn't mean the world will be nice to you" file.

3. You only regret the choices you don't make

This is probably the most cliche lesson that I have learned, but it is so true. Spend that money, go on that trip, tell that boy (or girl, whatever) you think they are cute, jump off that 15 foot cliff at the lake. "Okay but what if they don't like me back" or "What if I miss something while I'm gone". Well for one, if they don't reciprocate feelings, it is better to know now than 6 months down the road, right? and secondly, trust me. You are only missing street lights turning green and maybe a rain shower or two

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."- We Bought A Zoo

4. Overthinking will completely destroy any happiness you have.

Anyone who knows me knows that I haven't exactly mastered this one yet, but the first step is admitting you have a problem. Why would you waste time worrying about the things that could go bad when things are good? If you keep worrying about the bad that may or may not happen, you are going to miss the good. And trust me, the good goes by faster than the bad.

Worry is a downpayment on a problem you may never have.

5. Your love story isn't going to look like everyone else's.

My parents are the poster children for high school sweethearts/perfect love stories. In high school and some of college, I dated a pretty horrible dude. Part of the reason I held on so long is because I wanted to have a love story like my parents, one where we met in high school fell in love, and never dated anyone else but each other. The problem was, I wanted a love story like my parents, not a love like my parents.

6. LISTEN TO SIGNS FROM GOD.

I know for a fact that I have laid in my bed and begged God for a sign and most everyone has. He gives us signs, everyday. Ignoring them is just going to prolong the pain and make it a heck of a lot worse.

7. Don't regret a bad relationship.

This is a lot easier said than done. For one, everyday I still get pissed off just thinking of the BS I have put up with from boys that I really shouldn't have. But, had I not put up with the bull, I wouldn't know my limits. I also wouldn't know how I deserve and now demand to be treated. No regrets, just really tough lessons.

8. Change that oil, sis.

I don't actually mean "change your oil", even though you totally need to... What I really mean is listen to your dad. Or mom. Or both. 99.9% of the time they know what they are talking about and will save you unnecessary trouble. Seriously, your parents are the ONLY people on this planet that will 100% have your back to the grave. Listen while you can.

9. Listen to your gut.

Almost 100% of the time, your gut is right. Listen to it. Human intuition is a strong and powerful thing.

10. You choose your happiness.

The best part about happiness is that is something that is 100% in your hands. You literally can control it. It isn't always easy, but happiness is one of the few things in life we have complete control over.

11. Be gentle with yourself.

I am my own worst critic. And most everyone is wired that way. We want to succeed, we want the best for ourselves. It is really easy to forget that you are trying to do the best you can. We all mess up, it is another growing point. One of my favorite memories from elementary school was when I failed our very first spelling test of the year. It wasn't because I didn't try, I just simply didn't study the right way for me. I remember sobbing when my teacher handed back the papers, then I felt a hand on my back. A boy, a third grader (wise beyond his years, clearly) looked at me and said, "This is the learning period. You are may have made a bad grade, but now you have learned how not to study!".

12. How long you have known someone has nothing to do with their intentions for you.

I have met people in the past three months that have better intentions for me than people I have known my entire life. Quality over quantity, friends.

13. Just because they are family doesn't mean they won't screw you over.

Honestly, learning this stung the most. As someone that craves family, I never expected to come across a day that my family would abandon me, but here we are. Just because I have known them my whole life does not mean they have good intentions for me.

As someone who loves people unconditionally (to a fault, for sure), it is hard to let go of people that do not want to be/ can not be a part of my life. It is hard for me to comprehend that people are temporary. But they are. People are temporary. And that is okay. Learning to let go of people is tough, but it makes room for someone else to make an impact on your life. People come and go in your life exactly when they are supposed to.

15. "Life is too short to be pissed off all the time."

"Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."- American History X

Think about it. Do you realize how much time and energy you have wasted hating someone?

16. If it isn't gonna matter in five years, don't waste 5 minutes worrying about it.

Once again, easier said than done. But are you REALLY going to be thinking about that dude that cut you off on the interstate in 5 years? or even in 5 hours?

17. If they want to, they will.

If they want to call you, they will. If they want to text you, they will. If they want to see you, they will. We as humans are hardwired to make time for the things we care about. If they won't, it is because they don't want to. Simple. The people that want to be a part of your life will fight for a spot. You are way too good for someone who isn't sure about you.

18. No one else can convince you that you are good enough, that is your job.

Sure getting reassurance from others is nice, but at the end of the day, If you do not believe you are great, it doesn't matter how many times someone tells you that you are.

19. Follow your own path.

Most of my life I tried following my big sisters footsteps. Even though she is brilliantly successful and happy, I wasn't happy trying to be her. When I finally made up my mind that I was going to do my own thing, my grades got better, my life got happier, and I was accomplishing things I only dreamed about.

20. Call yourself on your own bullshit.

I am really bad about playing the victim. I think we all are in a sense. Yeah, some F***ed up things have happened to me in my life. But everyone has had it tough. Because I have had a few tough seasons does not give me the excuse to treat people like crap.

21. I am not done growing, and I never will be.

I know I have come a really long way in a year, but I am not done growing yet. I never will be.

Cheers to 22 years!