The season of graduation parties is among us and with the season comes all of the small talk in the world. If you are a college student coming back to celebrate high school friends or a high schooler who is soon going off to college you are guaranteed to be asked some of these questions when you stop by a graduation party, even if all you really want is a free meal.
1. Where are you going to school?
Recommended for you
A straight forward, dip your toes in the water start. It's relaxing and easy, you can answer this one in your sleep.
2. Do you like it?
What if I hated it? Do you really want to hear that? I don't think so, probably best to leave this question out of the line up.
3. What's your major?
I think most people are hoping that you are going to give them an answer that they can somehow spin back to themselves or someone they knew at college. I appreciate this because I'd rather hear about you than talk about me.
4. And then, for me after I say creative writing: really? What are you going to do with that?
Who knows, honestly? Probably work in the food service industry.
5. Plans after graduation?
Lots of debt.
6. Were the classes hard?
They were college classes, so a few were tough. I would hope they were though, I'm paying for a good education and a good education doesn't always mean easy. I studied hard and I learned a lot.
7. Are you going back to the same school next year?
Again, wow this is a can of worms if I hated my school. Luckily, I love my school so this one is easy.
8. Where are you working this summer?
Anywhere that will hire me and pay me.
9. Do you like it?
Another can of worms. I almost would advise people to steer clear of asking opinions unless they're really ready to hear them. Hopefully if you get asked this you have enough sense to not trash talk your job in public.
10. How is that pay check?
Would you ask an adult with a salary this? Because I really don't think you would and it kind of makes me cringe. What are you going to ask me next? My weight?
11. Are you seeing anyone?
For me, it's almost always 'no', but if you answer yes then you get to miss out on the next two questions. It's almost tempting enough to lie, but if you say yes then they want to hear all about your significant other. Either way you're still making small talk.
12. Why not?
Either no one wants to date me or I don't want to date anyone. Maybe somewhere in between, who really knows?
13. Are you looking to see someone?
This either leads to the offer of one of their distant relatives or them telling you there's lots of fish in the sea.
14. How old were you last time I saw you?
Chances are if you guess second grade but you don't really remember, then I probably don't really remember either. Last time you saw me I probably looked like I was trying to be Alyson Stoner in Cheaper by the Dozen (still trying).
15. Who's older, you or your sister?
Anyone with siblings has heard this question so many times it makes your head spin. We should just start getting labeled shirts for graduation parties and family reunions.
16. Are you (so and so's) kid?
The back of my sister shirt should have a family tree on it.
17. Do you know you look just like them?
Yes, I really do. Facebook tags my face as my dad's all the time.
18. Have you had any of the cake yet?
The cake is what I came for. I've had five pieces and I'm going back for another piece after this conversation wraps up.
19. So, how about (insert sports team)?
This is the beginning to the end. They are running out of topics related specially to you and the people you know and are widening the net. Be polite, make eye contact. Think of the cake.
20. Have a good time at school, but don't have too much fun. You hear me?
Yes, I hear you. I mostly spend my nights eating pizza and watching Criminal Minds. I'm not just saying that to my family, it's really what I like to do.
21. Tell your parents I said hello, okay?
Probably not, because fifteen people have already told me and you're all melting together in my brain, I don't have a list on me. But, the thought is very kind and I appreciate it. I am going to get that cake now, it has been lovely.
