Your 21st birthday is a pivotal moment in life. You can legally purchase your first drink... Freedom! You have finally reached the "real" adult age. You'll find yourself shoving your I.D. in the waiter/waitress's face to prove you are legal. You just feel on top of the world. You are in the process of finishing up college and figuring out what to do with your life. It's the true beginning of your 20's, which is a wonderful part of your life. I've been told it goes by quicker than you would think.
Having just turned 21 at the beginning of the month, I think it's important to mention some of the most important lessons I have learned in life so far. Taking the time to review these every once in awhile is good for the soul. The list could go on and on, but these are the ones I am constantly having to remind myself of:
1. Nobody's perfect.
As much as we all want to appear flawless, it's a lie. Our flaws and little imperfections are what makes us beautiful and unique. At the same time, making mistakes is an important part in life. They don't define or shape us; they allow us to grow and learn.
2. It's totally fine to not have life all figured out.
As much as the world makes it seem like we should have our futures mapped out, it's really not ideal. Most of us haven't even found our passions yet. Finding your way takes time and before you know it, things will begin to fall into place. When you least expect it, you'll land yourself a dream job. As long as your happy, you shouldn't stress too much. Life is a precious thing, so don't waste it worrying about the little things.
3. Friends aren't always "forever."
As much as you wish friends could be around for a lifetime, it's not always realistic. There comes a point in your life where you realize that some friendships aren't worth maintaining. Your "bffl" (best friend for life) from your adolescent years was there through thick and thin and the two of you were inseparable, but growing up changes us all. Going off to college is a time when most friendships begin to lose their fire, and you find yourself losing touch with the ones that you would talk to day in and day out. Growing apart is a way of life and it's healthy. Rekindling friendships will happen, but nothing should feel like it has to be forced. Sure you'll miss their company, but that doesn't mean that you have to be the only one putting in the effort to hang out. You will never forget how much they meant to you, but it's OK to move on.
4. Life is unpredictable.
As much as you want to be able to control your own destiny, not everything is in your hands. You have to remember that this is OK. It can be pretty unfair sometimes, but you have to remember that God has a plan for everyone. You should never compare your life to others, either. We are all on different journeys so it's unfair to judge your successes based on others.
5. Everyone procrastinates.
As much as we wish we had the motivation to get things done ahead of time, we all like to stress ourselves out. It's just the way of life. You can try to argue that you're not a procrastinator, but you're just lying to yourself. We find success in knowing that we just beat the odds of meeting a deadline by minutes. I would like to say that this is just going to be a college thing, but I know it won't be.
6. Mom is always right: listen to her.
As much as we hate to admit it sometimes, she is always right. She gives you the best advice in all areas of life. She's been through it all and she's not afraid to admit it either. When you think you're alone, you never are. Open those stubborn ears and hear her out!
7. Laughter is the best medicine.
Sitting with friends and laughing about life's rude little interruptions and the rest of the craziness is so necessary. If you can't laugh at life, then you need to reevaluate. Finding humor in the most stressful of situations could save you from destruction. If you don't find yourself sitting with friends on a Saturday night laughing about life, you are truly missing out. It's fun, free, and easy to use. What more could you ask for?
8. Love yourself before anyone else.
As much as we all want to find the love of our life, we can never do that if we don't feel confidence in ourselves. That means we have to be kind to yourself. We have to appreciate the gifts and strengths we were blessed with. If we can't find the beauty and worth in ourselves, how can we expect someone else to find it too? We also should never place our worth in the hands of someone else. That is probably the worst thing you can do in life. Don't let anyone else define you.
9. The real world is a scary place.
As much as we want to viewed as adult and all grown up, rushing into the real world is the worst thing to do. Enjoy being young and don't think about the responsibilities of the real world until you really have to. Being an adult looks fun on the exterior... but just ask your parents.
10. Life experiences are worth more than money or material objects.
As much as the world revolves around riches and having the latest and greatest fad, those things aren't everything. Traveling and experiencing new adventures with the ones you love trumps buying an over-priced pair of shoes. Attending concerts of artists you are utterly obsessed with or traveling to a city you've never been to before leaves you with memories to tell your children one day. Trends go out of style quicker than you can say "obsessed," but the sights and sounds of adventure last a lifetime. Take lots of photos!!
11. Mental health days are a necessity.
As much as we all want to appear invincible, we have to take days to distress. Without these days, life is no fun. It's impossible to be at the top of your game all the time without time to relax. We all have bad days, but giving ourselves the time to sit in bed all day watching "Grey's Anatomy" on Netflix or participating in retail therapy could change your mindset completely. Believe that tomorrow will be better.
12. You don't have to be a fan of everyone.
As much as we want to be liked by everyone, it's not realistic. Popularity isn't a top priority as you get older. Caring less about being liked and making it a top priority to be your authentic self is the key to happiness. You are not going to like everyone you meet, but it is also important to be respectful and in some cases to be the better person. Opinions are going to clash, but that's human nature. Learning this at a young age prepares you for the workplace where you aren't always going to be fond of your coworkers, but you learn to cherish their good assets.
13. Don't waste your time on unreliable people or negative people.
As much as we wish people could change for the better, it isn't always the case. Negativity consumes some people; they are living a miserable life so they feel as if you should do the same. Life's too short and we are too old to deal with that stuff. If they don't inspire you to be a better person, it's important to rid yourself of that negativity. The same can be said for people that you can't depend on; best friends and family should have your back when you're in the right or wrong. They'll check you when you're being close minded or conceited, but they will also be there for you in the good and bad times. Get rid of the negativity and selfishness in your life.
14. Follow your dreams.
As much as life tries to force us down particular paths, deep inside all of us resides a lifelong dream/dreams. It sounds cliche, but we all have them whether we care to admit it or not. Don't let those dreams escape your mind. Pursue them because the worst that could occur is that they don't work out. You try and you may fail, but you will never be living with regret. You never know if pursuing this dream may lead to the discovery of another dream that you tried to hide deep down. If something scares you, do it!
15. Don't rush falling in love.
As much as the world makes it seem like you should find the love of your life by college, that isn't always the case. Love finds you and it cannot be forced. The love of your life comes when you least expect it and when you realize that imperfect love is the best. When it seems like everyone is in serious relationships around you, it can seem to be a little depressing. Cherish the single years because life is short. Be open to new relationships and be optimistic about the future because God has a beautiful plan for each of us. You will find someone that compliments you in the best ways when you least expect it!
16. Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
As much as we hate to forgive, it truly does rid your life of negativity. Forgiveness may take time because it can't just be given in the blink of an eye sometimes. People make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes and wrongdoings may appear giant in nature. Like I said before, no one is perfect. We must remember how people are feeling on the other end. The guilt may be eating them alive or they may feel no regret at all. But, for our own mental health, we must forgive. You will feel better and will be able to move on with life.
17. Chicks before D!@K$.
As much as we all want a happily ever after, it should be every girl's life motto to cherish friendship over boys. Friends are there through it all, and they should never be taken for granted. Make time for girl's night every once in awhile if you find yourself in a serious relationship. There is room for both!
18. Never look up your health symptoms or illnesses on the internet.
As much as we like to worry about every little thing that goes on with our bodies, the worst thing to do is to turn to Google. Just trust me. You'll have a weird rash appear on your arm and the next thing you know, you're thinking you have some deadly disease... but it's just eczema.
19. Take pride in being weird.
As much as we want to seem cool and collected, being weird is the best thing to be. Quirkiness is what makes the world go round. Some of our favorite people are confident in their weirdness, and I think that's something we all need to learn. Awkward is the new cool. Be yourself and people will love you for it!
20. Laugh as much as you cry.
As much as we view crying as weakness leaving the body, it is just as important as laughing. We all have our highs and lows; laughing and crying go hand in hand. Laugh as much as you breathe or until your stomach hurts. Those moments sometimes don't come as often as you would like. Don't be embarrassed to cry because it shows you genuinely care. Cry as much as you breathe, too. It's healthy and gives you an excuse to stuff your face with snacks (especially chocolate).
21. Don't take life too seriously.
As much as life appears to be this serious and scary thing, it is meant to be filled with fun. You shouldn't take yourself too seriously either. Most of us are way too serious about it all the time leading to stress and more stress. We are constantly looking for something to complain about or just worrying about things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Don't give yourself wrinkles just for the hell of it. Enjoy the awesome life that is in front of you!
