There are a lot of lessons we learn throughout our lives. From physical lessons like learning to walk and play an instrument to mindful lessons, the list is nearly endless by the end. Everywhere we go and everyone we come in contact with should leave a lesson in our lives in some way. Lessons are how you learn to thrive, after all. Here are 21 lessons I have learned by 21 years of life.

1.Not Everyone Has The Same Heart As You

Assuming they do will only get you hurt. No one is going to do the same and think the same as you do in any situation, no matter how top-notch a person they are.

2. Do Not Expect To Be Treated The Same As You Treat Others

Treat others the way you want to be treated but do not expect them to treat you that way. You should always treat people with kindness and care, regardless of how they treat you in turn.

3. Do Good For The Act And Not For The Reward

It is important to give back and do good for the community and those who reside in it. It is even better to do so out of the goodness of your heart, rather than for publicity. While it will still have had a positive impact, doing things out of compassion means more than out of greed.

4. Compromise Is Important.

Everyone has a list of goals and wants out of their lives. It is important to strive to achieve those, and important not to settle for less than what you want. However, you will come to a crossroads in which you will have to make choices. Instead of ruling out both decisions, make compromises.

5. Do Not Settle For Less Than What You Deserve

It is easy to settle when you are rushing and impatient. Settling will get you nowhere. Do not settle for anything: a job you hate, a relationship you are not treated like gold in, or friends who do not make you feel supported. You will be much happier waiting for a good job, true friends and a healthy, equal relationship.

6. You Will Have And Lose A Number Friends: It Does Not Always Mean They Weren’t Real

You will. Not all friends leave or become distant because they were “not real friends.” Sometimes you just have different views, lives and experiences, and it leads to an end. They will forever be a friend at heart but not in your life.

7. It Is Okay To Outgrow People

If you are unhappy being around someone, do not just deal with it. There is a reason this person is not someone you enjoy being around. Whether it be maturity or far-sided differing views, you can outgrow people who don’t contribute positively to your life anymore.

8. Relationships Are More Than Just Love

While love is an overpowering and wonderful emotion, it is not the only thing that makes a relationship. A healthy relationship takes much more than a feeling: it takes hard work, commitment and equality. It takes thoughtfulness and understanding and compromise. It takes a lot of effort. Most importantly it takes two people willing to implement all of this.

9. Prioritizing Is Key

When you just see things as equally important all the time it gets stressful. Your life will build up and you will not know what to do, tend to, or achieve first. Prioritizing things fixes this problem. Ordering what is most important and most necessary relieves a lot of stress and built up responsibilities.

10. It Is Okay To Choose Yourself

Seriously. While choosing others and loving on those around you should be a primary aspect in your life, you really should be first. If you are unhappy and tired and dragging you will be unable to carry out tasks efficiently. You will not achieve what you set out to do if you never think of yourself.

11. Keep A Bank Account That You Do Not Touch

It is extremely easy to burn hole in your pocket. If you know you have money it is nearly impossible to just let it be. Keeping an account you only deposit money in will help in the long run and you will thank yourself in the end.

12. Not All Soulmates Stick Around

You will meet people you connect with on unusual levels in your lifetime. You will meet more than one person you consider a “soulmate.” You will not always have all of them in your life. Some soulmates come and go strictly to affect you permanently in a temporary fashion.

13. Unconditional Love Is Important

While being loved all-around by multiple friends and family members is great, unconditional love is important to find. Not all those friends and family members will love you unconditionally. It is necessary to find those who do, because we are humans and we get into messy situations. Those who only love you will desert you when you need them; the people who love you unconditionally are those who will stick by you with support and love.

14. Not All Experiences Are The Same For Everyone

This is a common misconception that I definitely fell for. You won’t experience all things the same way as your peers do though. It is okay to think something is not fun when everyone else has a blast and vice versa.

15. It Is Impossible To Pick An All-Time Favorite Of Everything

Having a favorite is fun and all but it is impossible to always have one. There is too much variety and too many things to choose a favorite for everything.

16. Love Is The Best Quality, Trait And Treasure

To love people is to spread joy, compassion and care. It radiates and lights up rooms when it is present. Love unmistakably makes anyone feel good on the inside. It is the greatest thing to give and to receive and something to hold onto when you have it.

17. Tea Is Actually Really Good

One of the greatest lessons I learned was how great tea actually is- for you, your health AND your tastebuds. It is hated on so greatly by coffee-lovers because of the water content and the assumed taste. It is definitely an acquired taste but once you try it, it is even better than coffee. It comes in endless flavors and caffeine content and can be consumed a variety of ways!

18. Finding Passion Is Necessary

A life without passion is frankly quite boring. Passion brings excitement to your life. It fills you with emotion and desire to achieve and be successful. Finding passion starts your life for what it is meant to be. The things you are passionate about will be the things that stick with you.

19. Your Worst Is Not A Time To Give Up

We all go through it- some worse than others. A time of what is an all-time low and what seems to be endless distress and despair. This is not the end; rather it is a new beginning. It is a time to hurt and learn from it, to fail and come back from it. It is a time to lose yourself in order to find yourself.

20. It Is Okay To Enjoy Things Despite Other People’s Opinions

Pretending to enjoy things you dislike because a majority of those around you like it is no way to live. Find the things you enjoy, whether everyone else hates it or loves it. Don’t get into a show because your entire twitter timeline is full of fans. Don’t stop watching your sports team because the rest of the sports world hates them. Your happiness is yours and no one else’s to determine.

21. The People You Surround Yourself With Should Affect You

If the people you spend time with are not affecting you, they are not your people. The people in your life should help you find yourself. They should make you feel confident and loved. You should feel supported and cared for and like you matter. You should be able to make differences and achieve your goals. They should make you question and answer things. If you do not feel supported and loved you have the wrong people in your life. If you think you have nowhere to go and no one to run to you have the wrong people in your life. Your people should be just that: your people.