1. Sometimes life just isn't fair.
We often learn this lesson at a young age, but it’s one we need constant reminders of. Sometimes, you’ll work twice as hard as the person next to you and get less than them. It’s okay. Because, in life, we’re not living for “fairness," we’re living for reasons far beyond that. All of us have a purpose, but none of those purposes are “to be as good as them.” Remember that, find worth in yourself, and you’ll never have to learn this lesson twice.
2. There are many ways to say that you love someone...
“How are you?”, “Did you make it home okay?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Is there anything I can do for you?”, and “How can I help?” are just a few on the long list of ways to tell someone that you love them. Every once in a while, make sure to say the words “I love you”, but don’t ever go a day without finding some way to tell the people you love that you love them.
3. ... but there is only one way to say you're sorry.
Saying you’re sorry is not as easy. The only true way I’ve found of saying “I’m sorry” is to change whatever behavior or phrase you’ve done or said that’s hurtful. Never do it again, make it known that you’ve heard that person out, and then never be disrespectful to your boss again, never lie to your boyfriend again, never ignore your mom again. A change of heart goes a lot further than any apology you’ll ever say.
4. Sometimes forgiveness doesn't mean accepting an apology.
I learned the hard way that many people will either choose not to apologize or they will leave this earth before they’ve had the chance to. Even without an apology, learn how to forgive whatever wrongdoing that person has done to you. I had to learn that lesson and it took years before I could finally accept the apology and forgive the person who was gone. Forgiveness leads to a happier life.
5. Life isn't about waiting and anticipating the big moments.
Take it from the girl who got worried with each passing event like prom, graduation, college, that life is far more than waiting for the next occasion. If you spend your life looking forward, you’ll never enjoy the right now. So maybe all of your proms are gone, that doesn’t mean you can’t turn on some music and dance around in your kitchen. Maybe graduation has passed, but you can still call all of your high school friends and reminisce about the good times and reconnect in the right now. Love the time you’re in, don’t let it slip by you.
6. Marriage and kids will all come in their own time.
I spent the majority of ages 13 through 20 worrying that marriage and kids would never come or would come too late. If you constantly worry about marriage and kids, you’ll never be happy enough with yourself to enjoy it when it happens. Learn to love yourself in the time in between.
7. Your greatest heartache may not ever come from your boyfriend/girlfriend.
My greatest heartache came when my grandmother passed away. One minute she was here, the next, she was gone. So whatever heartache is sitting heavy on your mind tonight, know that it is not forever. Just because you’ve never been cheated on or broken up with does not mean you don’t feel pain. Your pain over the loss of a pet, a friend, or the death of a loved one is valid and that is heartbreak. Feel your pain.
8. You can't expect to get very far if you don't put yourself out there.
Take a chance, take a shot, because you never know where it might lead. Take a chance on that girl, take a chance applying for that school, or accepting that job. You never know where what might happen.
9. The ability to make friends is an important life skill.
Learn how to make a friend. Because in the loneliest moments of your life, making a friend might save you from your own destruction.
10. But so is using proper grammar and punctuation.
I cannot stress this enough – it is important to educate yourself and present yourself with intelligence. Take the time to learn the difference between “your” and “you’re." Learn how to spell out the word “please” instead of writing “plz." Continue to educate yourself and continue to show it off. Because we all have big brains and need to use them.
11. Call more often than you text.
All of that said, we text way too much. When something happens to your mom, you’re not going to care about the last time she texted “I love you,” you’re going to want to remember hearing her say the words, in her voice, followed by whatever silly nickname she always called you. So always call whenever you can.
12. Your social media life will never surpass your real life.
I used to be so worried about how many people retweeted my tweets or liked my Facebook posts until finally, I realized that my social media life was only on a screen. I couldn’t do anything with it. But my real life consisted of friends and family who loved me and supported me always. I could do a lot knowing I had their very real support behind me.
13. Find a cause and fight for it.
Find something you believe in and fight for it. Give it your all. Because in this life, there are many injustices that deserve to be fought. And because fighting for something that you believe in makes for strong character. So find a cause and fight for it.
14. If you love something, never give up on it.
If you love a person or a sport or a job or a hobby, never give up on it. Don’t stop loving something (or someone). Because love is one of the strongest things we can do. If you love it, you love it for a reason. So even when you’re discouraged, even when you’re at your breaking point: don’t give up.
15. But know when to walk away.
But you must always remember that your health and happiness are so, so important. So when that job starts taking away your livelihood, walk away. When that sport leaves you too tired to do anything, walk away. When that hobby begins consuming your life, walk away. When that boy or girl starts to treat you badly and hurt you, walk away. Because you deserve to be healthy, happy, and safe.
16. Find time for yourself even if it means canceling on someone else.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to love yourself enough to make time for yourself. Go watch a game, get your hair done, read a book, watch your favorite TV show, go the gym, walk your dog, whatever it is, do it. It is important to make time for you.
17. Smile more than you frown.
It has been scientifically proven that smiling (even when you don’t feel like it) can lift a person’s mood. So smile. Often, always, anytime you can. Even if you don’t want to, smile. My grandma once wrote a letter to me, and in the letter she wrote, “Don’t ever let anyone take that beautiful smile away from you.” So now, I’m telling you, don’t ever let anyone take your beautiful smile away from you.
18. Know that consuming alcohol comes with responsibility - a lot of it.
Going away to college taught me a lot, but this is probably the biggest, most important lesson it taught me. Alcohol is not a game, alcohol is not a recipe for silliness or getting up the courage to do what you’re too scared to do. Alcohol is a killer. Alcohol has the ability to take everything from you. So if you’re going to consume it, be ready to be responsible, because if you’re not, you’ll be facing the consequences of your actions.
19. Find the people you love and surround yourself with them.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is to keep people around who don’t support you or care about you. So when you find those people who make fun of your job, who tell you that the life you’re choosing is wrong, who don’t make the effort to respect the person you’re dating, don’t let them influence you. Don’t keep them in your immediate circle. When you surround yourself with people, surround yourself with the ones who truly love you.
20. When choosing a job, find one you love - not one that pays the most.
I have been around way too many people who hate their jobs. I don’t know that I’ve ever worked a job that I’ve hated, and so far, I’ve gotten by just fine. Find a job you love, one that brings you joy, one that gives you a purpose, one that makes you happy to wake up in the morning.
21. Know that having faith is more important than having anything else.
Above all things, it is important to have faith. It’s important to have faith in a higher power, and in yourself. Have faith that things will get better, have faith that you can do it, have faith that there is a God who loves you and cares for you. Because faith is what leads us out of the darkness, and faith is what will keep us alive.
