Dear 2019 Me,
The past couple of years have been a roller coaster.
You have lost so many people in your life. Whether that be friends, family, or even Death grabbing a loved one along the way with one foul snatch, it hurt like Hell, and it left you feeling lost — alone.
You have failed in some way or another. You have failed in a class, a friendship, a relationship or really anything that made you feel like the universe just didn't want you to succeed. The failure made you feel inadequate and alone.
You have focused on others over yourself for so long. You have made sure you produced enough happiness for everyone else, where it was really you that needed the feeding. You listen and advise others when you were the one that ended up feeling alone.
You haven't been extremely proactive with your mental and physical health. Feelings of self-doubt and self consciousness linger in your mindset, turning you to substance and bad thoughts to feed the feeling of loneliness and being misunderstood.
Dear me, I am so sorry for focusing on everything else going on in life that I abandoned you when all you felt was alone.
You have been abandoned by so many people in your life that it made me realize that there's nothing worse than not giving self-love. Realizing that gave me the growth I needed to look to all of the love and strides I have made these last couple of years.
You have made new, reliable friends. You also realized that it's life when people leave you — it's normal. Everyone comes into your life as a lesson, and at some point, you realize that they taught you something valuable. With that being said, you also learned that you don't need to have a lot of friends to be happy — you need one or two good ones that are worth your time.
As for death, you learned it's inevitable. There's no way to escape the grief of death, and there's certainly no way for you and your loved ones to avoid it. Rather, you look at your life as something more precious. You treat everyday like it could be your last, and you don't fear death anymore — instead you embrace him as an old friend.
You understand that failure is part of life's journey, and you accept it with open arms. You do this because you understand that without failure, you wouldn't have any growth and it is needed to make better choices. You work a lot harder to ensure you accomplish something, grasp failure, and learn from it.
With all of these things, you acknowledge that self-love is the most important thing in this world, because if you fall and your life crumbles, the only person who will never leave you is YOU.
So to you, my past self, I am sorry I didn't love you in the way you deserved to be loved — but 2019 is our year.
We will take the world by storm, and we will be boundless and adventurous. We will experience lives of others to provide enough empathy for others to culture our self. We will show kindness to everyone, including people who don't deserve it — instead, we will kill people with our intelligence and kindness. We will live boldly, independently, and healthy.
2017 may have been your year of pain and loss, and 2018 was the year for recovery and rebuilding, but 2019 is the year for power moves and growth.
Remember: you are not a force to reckon with, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Aim high and ambitiously, and work hard this year — for 2020 will move mountains and change your life for the better.
