This year has been a dumpster fire of deplorable decisions from our Dorito in Chief, and when is a better time to celebrate these failures than the creepiest day of the year: Halloween. Put away your witch's hat and suit up in one of these eight timely DIY costumes.
1. A Little Red Hen
Throw on your chicken suit and have your best friend spray paint you red! This Halloween, we're thanking the owners and staff of the Little Red Hen for taking a stand against injustice and bigotry! As for how to get the red spray paint off your skin, we'll get back to you on that…
2. Jared Kushner
Pop on a suit 2 sizes too small, add a simpering grin, and remain mute throughout this festive evening. Daddy's boy who?
3. Melania Trump
No, no, no, for this Halloween you don't need to be Einstein when you're dressing as quite possibly the most insensitive and callous First Lady to walk through the halls of the White House. Look under your sink for a body-sized trash bag and grab your paint. In big letters, spell out "I Really Don't Care. Do U?" Flip the bag over and cut out two eye holes. Slide the bag over your head and be best!!
4. Kirstjen Nielson
GiphyWho knew evil could take a name and a face? Go to a party store and pick up the first ghoul mask you see. Any ghoul costume will work to capture the soulless essence of the Secretary of Homeland Security.
5. A Trump Supporter
You've seen them around, and every time, you wonder how anyone could get more oblivious. Grab your red hat and misspelled political sign and you're ready to go.
6. Space Force Soldier
You've been dressing like a character from Star Wars since you were 3, but now you can be a real Jedi thanks to Donald Trump's Space Force. For this costume, all you need is some camo and your Buzz Lightyear space helmet and you're ready to take flight. May the space force be with you.
7. Golden Shower
This story is old news, but like the beer of champagne, if you leave it for a while and come back to it, it makes you sick to your stomach and full of regret. This look will take a little more effort, but if you like crafts, and the chore strikes your fancy, pick up a hula-hoop and tie yellow streamers around the circumference. Attach suspenders to either side of the hoop and slide them over your shoulders. Thanks, Trump, for your waterfall of costume ideas.
8. Donald Trump
We've all seen the "Donald Trump Make-up Tutorial" where you coat your face in a fine layer of Cheeto dust and pucker your lips to resemble a dog's bottom. But this year, try something different. Strap in because this one will get messy! In a large bowl, mix together 3 bags of Doritos, 2 jars of immigrant tears, 1 egg, and your dignity. Place it in the freezer until it reaches the temperature of Ivanka's heart and apply with a large makeup brush. A suit is optional, but a red tie is a must. Just remember to wash it off before midnight to prevent permanent damage and emotional scarring.
Halloween can't come soon enough and the sooner it comes, the sooner the Midterm elections come! And remember, not voting this fall is as bad as voting for Trump! If you're not registered to vote already or you're not quite sure, sign up here!!!!
