I began 2017 with many goals in mind. As I rang in the new year with a kiss from the person I loved the most, I made a wish. This wish eventually came true, but not in the way I thought it would. I have come to find that life is just that way sometimes. Ultimately through this difficult year, I have become more and more proud of who I am. For the first time, I had to do it on my own.
My wish was one filled with happiness, faith, and love. All of this was achieved but completely opposite of what first ran through my mind. I believed my happiness would come from the relationship I was in, and the life I was leading. Faith was "supposed" to come from the practices I did, my personal convictions, and the way I kept myself. And the love, I thought it would be from the guy who had my heart, my family, and my habits.
Then mid-year, everything changed. My life got flipped upside-down. I lost everything that I thought was my entire life. I was confused and lost, with no sense of direction. I looked to things that I knew were simply moments in time. I fled to people who had hurt me before. I returned to habits that could only break my heart.
But I'm here to say that I survived and came out on the better end of things My wish really did come true. The happiness I found came not from a boy, but from my own pride and strength. I was happy about how I worked through my problems, and smiled once again. I found my faith in God, simply because He was all that was left. I turned to Him. I changed my gaze from worldly pleasures and treasures to those that are spiritual and faith-based.
My love came from the people that had always been there for me. I found that I was blinded by the bad in my life, and completely missed all the good. Most importantly, I began to love myself. I put my worth in things other that my body and what others thought about me. I was myself and genuinely began to be happy about simply being me.
Sure, 2017 was a very difficult year. I do miss all the people I lost. Sometimes, I do wish that I could go back for a day, but everything moves on. I learned more than I could have imagined, and for that I am very thankful. I am entering 2018 with a clear mind and heart. I am ready to be me and live my life to the fullest. I have plans in my head and only I can acheive them.
