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2016's Child

The autonomy of children in Generation Z.

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2016's Child
wonderopolis

Our generation is marked by the same characteristics of our forbears — war, famine, political corruption, unrest between races. Yet we are also marked by being the 'lazy' generation, the ones who demand handouts and are said to do nothing to earn them. Living as a millennial, one could tell you just how inaccurate and cruel this assessment is, but we have collectively become weary of defending ourselves against the misguided onslaught of the previous generations.

Millennials are also marked by a struggle for autonomy, for new labels with which to define and understand ourselves. We are the generation of the new civil rights movement, in which people of color again form movements to seek equality beneath the racism of the old-guard system. Homosexual and transgender people are widely recognized, though their struggle continues. Non-binary persons are coming into the spotlight as we discuss the very real fact that there are those among us who do not identify with either gender.

We are less religious and more acceptant. We are fomenting sexual freedom among women and questioning harshly the two-party system of our corrupted politics. We practice attachment parenting, eschew old methods, such as cry-it-out, and form little communities of like-minded parents.

These are collective statements, of course — I do not speak for all millennials. But I am raising two children who will be of the generation called X one day — the jury is still out on the exact beginning point of this group.

Generation Z children, raised by self-searching millennials, may very well grow up with a degree of autonomy not before seen among young children. A cursory sweep of parenting boards reveals a wide range of discussions extending from the best way to explain gender identities to young children, to 'my child is gay, how do I go about supporting them?' to the basics of allowing toddlers and preschool-aged children the freedom to dress how they want, to understand consent, to know the proper names for body parts, to cutting their own hair, even down to going bald if that is what the child wants.

While I don't doubt that this has happened in the past, it is extremely thrilling to be part of a parenting generation who couples guidance with autonomy wherever possible. It seems that the old adage of 'children must be seen and not heard' is going out the proverbial window: we are learning how to talk to our toddlers, how to listen to these seemingly irrational little people that are simply learning their world as we are.

We are learning not to force our children to hug people, even relatives who might be offended; consent is huge among millennials, a pushback against the classic rape culture that is still wickedly pervasive. We are learning to respect self-expression in kids, that expecting abstinence from teens is a foolish thing, that much more comprehensive sex education is needed in schools.

We are not a perfect generation, but our children are watching, and they are learning. Whatever pitfalls catch us are things we can smooth over for them—whatever racist and sexist lessons taught by boomers are becoming diluted and discarded. 2016's child will, with all hope and effort, grow up in a world where their sexuality is not questioned, where they are free to make many choices from a young age, and where the bond between parent and child is strengthened by a new sort of trust. We are learning to respect our children, to stop viewing them as some sort of vaunted property or extensions of ourselves, and as their own individuals, and that is a beautiful thing.

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