I came full-circle in 2015---sort of.
I rang in 2016 at the same annual New Year’s party I rang in 2015, surrounded by great friends, great food, and the camaraderie that comes with being friends with transit enthusiasts (and being one yourself). I had plans to travel, plans to find a better job, and plans to, in general, better myself. I was going to also ring in 2016 in the same location.
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However, fate would have different plans.
After a visit to Iowa in January to visit my girlfriend’s family and to meet them, the two of us decided to move in together. Where we were going to live was another thing. That simple decision would set in motion how 2016 would end up. It seemed great on paper, but would be a logistical nightmare.
I thought it was going to be Cedar Rapids, where I would find myself trying to move my life halfway across the country and across a river that divides the nation in two. We were going to have to find money to finance rent on an apartment.
However, at the last minute, my girlfriend found that she didn’t like the campaign manager she was working under, so in a highly stressful weekend, I traveled to New England to go apartment hunting. The move would cost me my job at Verizon, because I couldn’t transfer my position (something I regret having not looked into further). While Verizon wasn’t a glamorous job, it paid the bills and it wasn’t overwhelming. Was it strenuous and did working outside at times prove challenging? Definitely.
We ended up in Pennsylvania--- something that presented us with another challenge: finding an apartment in little time. BIG MISTAKE. I would later find that the Keystone State has some draconian laws on the books, with both lease laws and with politics. Our parents helped us cover moving expenses, which turned out to be quite a bit of money.
We moved in and our relationship only became rockier. Both of us had security issues with each other, and the fact I lacked a job for almost three full months also became problematic. In fact, I’ve been out of work this year for nearly half the year, when all the time off is added up.
I’m not proud of it. I became so desperate that I ended up moving back home when I should have weighed more options.
Another strike.
I took a job that was great on paper, but by September, I was having huge doubts about as if I could even do the job. In the middle of the month, I gave my two-weeks notice. That was a huge mistake I’ll never make again. I should have fought harder to save my job, as had I asked to be taken off the load for additional evaluation and training, my supervisor would have been very happy in doing so.
I decided to, after quitting my job, to visit a rail line in danger of removal by New York State because a group of trail enthusiasts see an easy target. On my way up to the Adirondacks to ride said rail line, my car decides to futz out on me. $140 for a two-day rental, plus other costs. Another $1,200 for the car, which ended up needing more work than anyone would have ever thought.
I did some far-off job hunting about an hour from home. On my way home, and right before a trip to visit Buffalo and Cleveland, I slashed a tire on a bridge guard rail while not paying attention. I had a fling and while it was fun, I’ve felt morally dirty ever since, plus the $80 for a nice motel room. Another mistake.
I signed up to be holiday help at UPS and didn’t follow through with it. Wow, another mistake! How about we add more insult to injury: I showed up for the training and never followed through. Yet another mistake. That’s a bridge I’m probably not going to be able to ever cross again.
Now I’m sitting here really early on a Sunday morning, tired to no end because I took a job that now has me working nights counting aircraft engine parts and I’m disappointed. I should be lucky that I have a job, because it’s 2016 and manual labor is becoming a thing of the past.
That’s not even counting what’s happened in 2016. Politically, it started off very optimistic. Then we got scared as a nation and elected a troll as our leader. Instead of embracing the future, we’re condemning it. Racism and bigotry in this country has never been more prevalent.
I’ve made way too many mistakes in 2016: not following through on particular commitments, allowing myself self-pity, not having tried hard enough, letting myself get bogged down. I’m putting money towards an apartment I’d rather forget I have in the first place (although once I pay down the next two months of rent, it’s home free for that!). If anything, however, I should be proud that I’ve done what I have, because every mistake I’ve made has made me a far stronger person. I know better than to make these same mistakes again.
I’m really looking forward to New Year’s Eve and I get to kiss 2016 goodbye. Outside of learning quite a bit this year, it’s cost me too much money and aggravation. I’ve racked up credit card debt like it is going out of style. On another note, my credit limit is twice what it was at the beginning of the year. I had the opportunity to visit California, Indiana, and Ohio, so that was nice, and I was able to meet a friend in person for the first time this year. While 2016 was a year that had some upswings, I’ll say this:
I’m not really going to miss 2016. Nor am I alone in that feeling. For 2017, I wish for global stability, a more favorable climate (politically and spiritually) and hopefully a significant other to share experiences with.
Next week, I'll bring up my goals for the upcoming year. No, I don't call them resolutions!
