To: Avid supporters of Donald Trump
From: Survivors around the world
This is not a letter to those whom were unlucky enough to have not had an alternative Republican Party nominee or to those whom feel as if Hillary Clinton did not represent them accurately either. This letter is addressed to all of the American citizens on an emotional, not political level, who enthusiastically endorsed Donald Trump’s behavior on November 8th and from henceforth on.
The purpose of this letter is not to encourage a political debate, but to express how this election has made myself and many others feel, in hopes that survivors of sexual assault feel as if they have a safe platform to voice their concerns. All survivors need support, but this letter offers a more female perspective on an issue that also extends to men.
Do you know why I refer to myself as a “survivor” of sexual assault? No, it is not because my rapists intended to kill me. Of course rape is a violent crime; however, most sexual assault cases do not end in murder.
I call myself a survivor because so far I have survived the number one threat to our survival, societal stigma. I survived the overwhelming urge to commit suicide that is both inherently a part of being assaulted as well as reinforced by society’s shaming. I am not proud to say it, but I survived because I kept my head down and my mouth shut.
I isolated myself not only for fear of retaliation from my attacker, but also because I’ve seen what you have done to fellow survivors. When I told my then boyfriend, he called me a “slut” – I had never felt so betrayed by the very people who I thought would protect me. Who knew that a word so simple as “slut” could cut so deep?
Women who have spoke out against Donald Trump, and women all over the world who have spoken out, received death threats and vulgar comments. Donald Trump claimed that his accusers were not attractive enough to assault, as if that is a valid defense argument. Donald Trump’s remarks about “grabbing women by the pussy,” (without her consent) are resonating in the ears of our young ones and have become an intimidating catch phrase for an entire group of men. To the rest of the world, this is just talk, but I have been grabbed by the pussy…by my rapist. I will never forget it. I do not need to be reminded.
Here are some more interpretations of common modern day language:
“I’ll tear that up”
(tear = violence; that = object) I will have sex
“I’ll beat it up”
(beat = violence; it = object) I will have sex
“I’d hit that”
(hit = violence; that = object) I will have sex
“I fucked her”
(you did the fucking, not her=dominance) I had sex
“I raped them”
(dominance/violence) I won
When the President says, “I moved on her like a bitch,” he is sending a message that it is ok to be a predator. When the President interrupt a woman to remark about “how pretty must be for her to be on her knees”, he is sending a message that your sexualized thoughts about her are more important than the ideas that she is expressing. When the President degrades women for their weight and/or appearance he is sending a message that a woman is nothing without a man to desire her sexually. When the President blames a woman’s appearance for a man’s sexual orientation he is sending the message that a woman’s “failure of appearance” somehow causes homosexuality. Lastly, when the President belittles a woman for challenging your assertiveness over her by mentioning menstruation in an attempt to publicly embarrass her for being a female, he is sending a message that a woman is somehow lesser and should be ashamed of womanhood. We are afraid that radical supporters will idolize our President’s messages.
You might be wondering, how does this tie into sexual assault? We need better role models, particularly for males (period). Had attackers considered our feelings as equal to theirs or our intelligence to be worth more than our bodies, then they might not had felt entitled enough to assert control over their unwilling victims. Innocent American citizens are experiencing rape at alarming rates.
It feels as if people, who happily voted for Trump, endorsed his use of words that oppress an entire gender and perpetuate what many call a rape culture. Many of us had hoped that Americans would denounce this language, especially in a highly respected position such as the presidency. Survivors are afraid that Trump fanatics will not take these words with a grain of salt.
I do not even feel as if Hillary Clinton is a stellar human being or an excellent woman to be rewarded with the first female presidency. I do believe that she has endured in this harsh and embarrassing electoral race, and I do have intense anxiety and fear about Donald Trump.
American men and women are out there suffering because we feel that our fellow Americans did not rise up to our defense. Rape and domestic violence hotlines at RAINN have tripled in the wake of the election. Simply stated, survivors do not feel safe.Women fear that they are becoming second-class citizens, subjected to the publicized sexual whims of men. Women are crying on college campuses and rushing to get IUDs, just in case. Schools are offering free counseling services for those triggered by the election.
Whether or not he is not guilty of sexual assault is not your or my decision to make, but had I been the women slandered by society after an assault, I surely wouldn’t be alive today; for their sake, I truly hope he is not guilty. If he is guilty, I ask you: Is it not enough to see professional athlete woman beaters and wealthy college rapists go punished, do we really need a president too? I beg of you, should the judge find him guilty that he be made an example of.
Those of you who may think that I am being an overly emotional women or a sore loser are entitled to your opinion. It only reaffirms the nation’s inability to empathize us.
P.S. I am not alone. You are not alone. It is not okay.
