The 2016 Presidential election... I have no words. Well, that's not entirely true. I have a lot of words, they're just not appropriate. Though Democrats and Republicans hardly ever agree on anything, I think we can both agree on one thing: Out of the hundreds of thousands of people in each party, we came up with these two idiots to be the face of it? Frankly, I don't care about your political views as I know you don't care about mine, so let's not discuss that. At this point we have already come to the conclusion that both the candidates of the parties, that one is going to inevitably win (sorry Gary Johnson), are whiny, inconsiderate, outspoken, no-filter jerks. Neither of them deserve to run the country but somehow we ended up here. To make myself feel better about the next four years of my life, I have decided to make a list of 50 people who would make a much better president than Donald "I-Don't-Know-How-To-Keep-My-Mouth-Shut" Trump and Hillary "*deletes-all-my-emails*" Clinton.
1. Ellen DeGeneres
This would undeniably be the best four years of everyone's lives. Well scratch that, eight years of everyone's lives because you know Mama Ellen would win reelection. She's funny, but also knows how to be serious. She knows how to give a speech, could you imagine her State of the Union addresses? If any country gets mad at us, she'll just tell them a joke and invite them to a dance party and life would be okay again. Unfortunately, many people have asked Ellen to run and she said she would much rather be a talk show host than a president.
2. Michael Scott
I feel as though this selection needs no explanation... just yes.
3. Jimmy Fallon
So much yes I can't even. Imagine how happy our country would be for 4 - 8 years? He would bring some happiness to some pretty dark areas in our politics, plus Jimmy is just a pretty genuine guy - which is pretty unlikely in the political world. Non-negotiable VP choice: Justin Timberlake.
4. Jon Stewart
He knows his stuff when it comes to politics. After years of making fun of politicians, let him get behind the desk of the oval office and give the people really what they want.
5. Bernie Sanders
HE WAS JUST A NICE OLD MAN WHO WANTED TO HELP US GET OUT OF POVERTY AND GET INTO COLLEGE. I KNOW FREE COLLEGE WAS A STRETCH BUT HE AT LEAST COULD HAVE MADE IT MORE AFFORDABLE AND Y'ALL RUINED THAT FOR US CAUSE HE'LL PROBABLY NEVER RUN AGAIN. I'M STILL REALLY BITTER. WAY TO GO, AMERICA; YOU LET THE GOOD ONE SLIP AWAY AND LET THE IDIOTS STAY.
6. Beyoncé
Forget Kanye West wanting to be the president, make it Beyoncé instead. Also, she turned 35 this year... I'm just putting that out there.
7. Michelle Obama![]()
She's well educated, she's got a great motivation for helping society, she's got her husband who has experience if she ever needs advice, and she already had established relationships with leaders of other countries. She'd be perfect.
8. Tim Kaine
9. No One.
Maybe America just needs to be single for a couple years and find ourselves.
10. Morgan Freeman
11. Kevin O'Leary
Just change his nickname from Mr. Wonderful to Mr. President. He's a successful businessman and if anyone every crosses him he'll just say "you're dead to me. I'm out" and that'll be that.
12. Taylor Swift
Say what you want about all her break ups, but her love life is completely irrelevant to her presidency. She genuinely cares for people, helps out people in need, and is overall a good person - the kind of person who needs to be sitting in the oval office.
