As the holidays near, I am reminded of how utterly and completely single I am.
I mean, honestly, I’m reminded of it whether there’s a holiday happening or not. But, with Christmas comes couple-y traditions such as mistletoe and when Thanksgiving comes, well, I guess maybe eating two dinners as you and whomever you’re dating visit both of your families. I don’t know, I’m no expert on this.
My expertise on relationships is probably somewhere in the negatives. You see, I’ve been a Single Pringle for a solid twenty (almost twenty-one) years. Like Drew Barrymore in “Never Been Kissed,” I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been on a date and I’m pretty sure I’ve never held someone’s hand in a romantic manner (I mean, I've held my friends' hands, but...).
I don’t feel ashamed with all these “never”s, though. I don’t feel embarrassed, but there was certainly a time where I did.
Growing up, I thought high-school would be the years I’d be introduced to dating. It was most definitely movies and T.V. shows that put this idea in my young, naive mind. Granted, there are people who do begin dating in high school, but there are also those who do not. There's nothing wrong with either one.
All that happened in high school was the development of crushes and a bad habit of comparing myself to others. I’d look at some of my friends and some of my classmates and I’d see them experiencing what I thought I was going to. This lead me to asking myself, “What am I doing wrong?.”
I asked myself this question a lot as I filled my hopeless romantic mind with dreamy, probably unrealistic scenarios where I wasn’t a single gal. As I neared towards college this question remained to make itself a home in my mind.
As we reached our first college winter break, people I knew were coming back home, sharing their tales. Many of these reminded me of where I was in the relationship and dating area. And that was still at the starting line. Though I was glad my friends felt comfortable enough to tell me their stories, I still had that irritating question in my mind.
It wasn’t until one night where I asked myself, “What if I’m not doing something wrong? If presented to me, would I feel ready to date? Would I feel ready for a relationship? Would I feel comfortable?.” Not only did I realize that I wasn’t ready, but I also realized that I was OK with the fact that it wasn't currently happening. I had my family, my best friends, and my dog. I was doing pretty great.
The questions I asked myself made me realize that everyone moves at their own pace. Society, movies, T.V. shows, books, constant comparison, and so on can make us feel like we’re not where we’re supposed to be. I know I’m not the only one who’s in college with a similar a list of “nevers." I know that I shouldn’t force myself into something to keep up with others. I know that I’ll have my experiences when the time is right and hey, they might not even be like everyone else’s. They’ll be all my own.
So, to my fellow Singe Pringles, do not fret. We’ll have our moments all in good time. Everyone steps over their starting line at different times and that’s OK.
