Living with social anxiety is hard enough when you have a big family you see once a week. Multiply that by twenty when you add the general public into the mix.
They are judging you.
My brain is constantly making me feel like people are judging me for many things: my clothes, my makeup, my sense of style... everything.
Don't make eye contact, you're being a creep.
I am scared to look people in the eyes in fear that they are going to think I'm being a creep about it.
You need to apologize.... ALL THE TIME.
I say sorry for literally everything. You don't like the weather? I'm sorry. Your favorite shoes got muddy? Yeah, that's my fault, too. I'm sorry.
Look at them, wearing that fantastic outfit. You could never pull it off.
I constantly feel the need to compare myself to others. Over everything, always coming out on bottom.
You want to sleep? Too bad.
Falling asleep at a decent time does not happen, because my brain likes to replay that one time I called my teacher mom in elementary school and how everyone laughed at me.
They changed their tone by 1/16th of a decibel.. You must have upset them.
GiphyI notice the very smallest details, and it's the worst. I automatically think I upset you even when you don't realize you've changed your tone.
They are probably so annoyed with you. Quit talking.
GiphyI always worry how others view me and how they see me as a person.
Stay busy: no relaxing.
I cannot relax without the fear that I am missing something, that I'm not doing something, that I am going to fail.
You don't want to do it? Too bad, say yes.
I can literally not bring myself to say "no" know matter what someone asks me. You want $500? Sure, I was just saving that up for school books.
I don't care that you don't have to be there until 4:00, arrive at 3:15.
I cannot bring myself to be less than 20 minutes early, for ANYTHING.
Take 15 minutes to plan how you will leave the class to go to the bathroom.
I honestly have to plan out every single move I make before I do it. And if it doesn't happen the way I plan, I freak.
You have more than two things to do. WRITE A LIST.
It's like I cannot function if I have more than two things to do unless I write a list of what needs done.
Ask for the 18th time how to do this simple task.
It's like my brain can't comprehend anything without hearing it a dozen or more times.
Worry about what is going to happen 16 years from now.
I am so worried about what is going to happen in the future that I can't enjoy my present life.
You're stressed? Do 50 other things.
Rather than trying to fix what is stressing me, I preoccupy myself with other things.
Remember that time you stuttered in a conversation with that random person?
At the most random times, I'll remember the most embarrassing conversations and it is the worst.
Prepare for the worst. Do it, do it now.
It is so hard to appreciate the good in your life when you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
No, you don't feel like going tonight.
I reject invites to go to the movies with friends because I just can't bring myself to go out.
Keep your hands busy.
I am always messing with my hair, pulling on my lips, anything to keep me moving.
Procrastinate. I know your worried, but do it. Trust me.
I am such a procrastinator, even though it worries me something fierce. I cannot bring myself to do things early.
These are the daily conversations I have with myself every day and they are honestly the reason I struggle to get through the day. These are the things that make me worried to go outside of my room - why I just want to sleep every day.
