As my twentieth year comes to a close, I've been reflecting on some of the things that I did throughout these past 365 days, and maybe even more. I'm getting older, and I'd like to think that I'm getting just a little bit wiser. Whatever has happened to me, whatever I have done so far- I value my reflection, and all the honesty and truth I took from these moments. Here are twenty things I learned from being 20 years old:
1. Always put yourself first.
Always put yourself first. You are your own best friend, confidant, and supporter. We take ourselves for granted, whether it be our intelligence, our beauty, or our capabilities. Take time to make sure you know how important you are- this helps to build you up, not tear you down. I'm not saying you need to be cocky, but you were born beautifully, so I've learned to make sure that I'm confident in what I know I can be in and bring to this world.
2. Do not ever be ashamed for how you feel.
It took me a while to notice how I would sometimes side-step certain feelings or people just because they made me feel a certain way. Don't run from happiness, but also don't be afraid to tell sadness to take a hike. If anyone judges you based on your emotions, take a second to wonder what type of satisfaction they get in pushing yours down. If you feel something, let yourself feel it fully. Take a second to breathe, and work through your feelings- just don't be mad you have them, be grateful.
3. Romance isn't always like the "princess" movies.
Is this a surprise? Our generation is different than all the others before us. Don't get me wrong- there are definitely princes out there, but there are also some characters that can just rain on your parade. Don't settle for a little love- make sure you know that you deserve a lot of it. Trust me, you do. It took me a while to give myself credit for realizing that everything is not like a movie, but that does not mean you won't find a love that makes you feel like a star. Always remember that you have your own constellations, but it has the power to shine brighter if you want to show them to someone else. The people who make us beam, with our faces bright- they are the good ones.
4. It is okay to not always feel like a princess.
This is not the only year I haven't felt perfect. To be honest, I don't think I ever have. This was hard, because each of us (anyone, anywhere, anytime) has their very own different definition of what perfect is and what perfect does. I no longer set myself to such a high standard. My body is beautiful, my mind is brilliant, and my life is loving. There were days this year when I felt like I needed to be a different type of body, a different type of mindset, and I saw my life as needing more.
--- FAST FORWARD ---
I am not a princess, but I found more love for myself than all the Disney princesses combined. Believe in your own beauty, and you'll start to see it.
5. Do not compare yourself to others.
Does it get you anywhere other than upset? Maybe it even makes you feel better about yourself? You are not someone else, and this is for a reason. This year taught me that I am much better off being able to smile at myself than smile down on someone else. There is no reason or rhyme to being the best of the best, and this is because we can only be the best version of ourselves. I'll keep trying to be the best me every day, but I ended the idea of having to look at someone and think of anything other than how I wanted to compliment them for their presence in this world.
6. Make time for those who matter.
These people matter for a reason. Don't let them go, and don't push them away. We are so lucky to find friends, family, and love wherever we go. Make sure you tell these people how much they matter. They will appreciate it, and I learned that you always will in return. Be sappy about how great they are. Both of you could use it.
7. It is okay to think about good times you have had with people you no longer have.
There is definitely a difference between mourning and morning. I've lost people that have meant so very much to me- sometimes I think of things that happened so long ago, and tears cloud my eyes as if it were yesterday. I make it a point to wake up in the morning and be grateful for how much I do have, who I do have, and who helped me to get there along the way. Just because they aren't with you, does not mean you do not still feel their constant love.
8. Accept the things you cannot change.
I want to save the world, I want to save situations, and I'm always wanting to save myself. Life happens. Don't push your worries away, but make sure you know that you aren't here to save the world- you're here to live in it. Accept what is happening and try to make the most out of what you can. Don't take the time to dwell on what could have been- be excited about what will be.
9. Change the things you know you can if you need to.
I've always reminded myself of something my mother once told me when I was younger. I never liked when I had to make huge decisions, but I found that I was always in the middle of making them. That's just how it goes sometimes. "Change is not our friend." These are wise words, but so were: "But at least let it be your acquaintance, and see if you can get along just a bit." I might not have always welcomed change, but I did try to see the best in putting a foot forward and making decisions when I needed to. Don't waste time being scared- do what is right.
10. Wear whatever you want.
I'm all for dressing up, but this year brought some really good leggings and hoodies. Wear what you want, when you want to. Don't aim to impress people all the time with your outfits. Comfort is key- both inside and out. Let your fashion sense be shown, and don't care what the rest think about it (they aren't the ones wearing the clothes).
11. No makeup is not the "new normal", it was always the normal.
I used to be so sensitive as to if people saw me without makeup. It wasn't always like this, but for a little while, the thought of someone seeing my face for whatever it was became a little weird. I love my face, and I love my makeup, but they don't always need to be together. You are beautiful the way you are, and don't waste time covering up something that is already so pretty.
12. Never hold in laughter, even at the worst times.
I have a really bad habit of laughing at the worst possible times. You know those moments of silence where you are desperately trying to not scream with laughter? I feel like those make up half of a regular day for me. Don't dull your laughter- let it out all over. Thank God we still can laugh! Life is, sincerely, too short to take everything so so so seriously. Let happiness in.
13. Do not walk with your head down- always face the sun.
I'm on my phone when I walk, I'm looking at the ground during awkward moments, and I sometimes don't even get a good glance of the skyline on a brisk morning when I should be taking it all in. Don't waste time being nervous to be yourself. I always pride myself now in facing the sun. I cherish the time I have here and this entire year made me realize that I always want to be looking up rather than looking down- at anything or anyone.
14. Remember the good in the worst of times.
This year was great, but it definitely brought some hardships. I matured, and became stronger than I thought I would at this age. Even in the worst of times, I always try to remember how good the best of times made me feel. Then I remember that there are still so, so many good times ahead of me. Nothing bad lasts forever.
15. Remember the worst during your best times, and never forget how you got there.
This was a little vice-versa situation I just thought of. My highest points this year have been filled with absolute joy and admiration for accomplishments, people, or growth. I must say that I would not be able to realize how blessed I am without remembering what I have had to go through. Being able to see how far you have come shows you how much farther you can still go.
16. Try not to plan everything out so intensely- life will not be perfect.
Micro-managing was my middle name. It still definitely has a ring to it, but this year showed me that I can't try and lay out my entire life without being disappointed about a schedule change I had no control over. Yes, it is good to plan and to be ready for stuff, but never expect to be able to handle everything. Your lack of management skills in a time of crisis does not show that you can't handle something- it shows that you tried to handle everything. It is not our place to do so. Let adventure happen, and let yourself be free.
17. Travel as much as you can.
This year taught me that I need to travel and explore the world. My world sometimes seemed like it was only a few places I've already been, but it has now become so many places I have yet to go. Get up and go somewhere, do something, be somebody that you dream of.
18. Try and compliment someone at least once a day.
Even if this is you bragging at yourself in the mirror, it's still good. I prefer complimenting others- not because I think they need it- but because I don't see the harm in encouraging others to recognize how great they are to this world.
19. Be part of the world- don't just admire it.
I have so much love and admiration for this world, but I need to put my money where my mouth is. In this case, my money will be my capabilities and dreams, and my mouth will be my promise to live as fully as I can. I want to be a stepping stone for myself and others to dream as big as we can.
20. Do not let your fear of the future get in the way of the dreams you have planned for it.
I've always been scared of the future. Even though it is an exciting birthday, I feel kinda weird turning 21....a year older, and I'm really hoping a year wiser. Time has sometimes freaked me out because I feel that it can go by more quickly than I thought. All of this used to really get to me, but this year of the big 2-0 taught me that I need to dream, and I gotta dream big. I will not let my fear of anything get in the way of my brave soul achieving my dreams.
Here is to another year of learning, living, laughing, and loving!