Last week, when I finally sat down and let myself relax after finals week, it donned on me that I turn 20 years old in a matter of weeks. Still a young adult, but not a teenager (which is certainly fine with me, I can finally begin growing into my middle-aged personality). As I think about the idea that I have lived for two decades, I realize that I have learned some pretty big lessons in a relatively short time span. That being said, here are some of my silly and serious favorites:
1. It's okay to laugh about the way I looked in middle school because everyone else feels the exact same way about it as I do.
Oh yeah, like I reallybelieved that it wasn't a phase.
2. I really would miss my older sibling when they left for college.
We were never a very emotional pair, but I always waited for him to come home anyway, and teared up when he left.
3. Not all of my friendships were meant to last forever.
That doesn't mean they all end in blowouts or that you hate each other now. We change and we grow, and it's different for everyone.
4. However, that doesn't mean I don't still cherish them.
I put so many miles on my car just driving around in circles in the dark with some of the best friends I've ever had. Even if we don't talk every day, I still smile thinking of all of the giggles, petty conversations, and blasted rounds of "Bohemian Rhapsody".
5. The staples of the "High School Experience" are not meant for everyone.
It's just not a sparkling Hollywood movie set where the sports teams always win state and everyone loves prom, crazy right?
6. Graduation Goggles are the real deal, no matter how you felt about your years in high school.
I could probably be quoted on hundreds of occasions with the phrase, "I hate school and I want to drop out" but let me tell you--my last month of high school, I was annoyed by how often I teared up thinking about leaving.
7. You don't actually have to know what you want to do as soon as you graduate.
Yeah, I know, college is expensive. But that doesn't mean you have to choose your entire life immediately, or that there's no room for you to change your mind.
8. But if you do know, don't let anyone talk you out of it. They aren't you.
You get to do what makes youhappy. End of story.
9. Freshman roommate horror stories are not a myth.
On the other hand, there's a good chance you'll end up laughing about them or at least having some great advice if anyone ever needs it.
10. Remember to thank your mom and dad for all of the stuff they did for you that you now have to do for yourself.
I recently had to make my own eye appointment and I thought I was going to die. It's the little things.
11. No one goes into a relationship thinking it's going to be abusive. And no, we are never, let me repeat that, NEVER, asking for it, and never deserving of it.
That's not to say I haven't spent many a sleepless night wondering if it was me, but I'm not alone. And I'm devastated that we live in a society that teaches us to think that way.
12. Some of your best memories can come out of your worst ones.
One day I stood on a bridge in the middle of the rain and told my roommate all of the things that I had kept a secret for so long, and instead of saying anything, she cried with me. And despite all of the awful things that led up to that moment, I smile when I think about it because it brought me to the best friend I've ever had.
13. The hardest apologies are usually worth the most.
The apologies that take the most courage often bring us back to the people whom we love and we realize that we were too stubborn to admit they were right. And for me, the best ones never said "I told you so" even though they had more than enough grounds to do so.
14. There's nothing wrong with letting your friends see you cry.
In my particular circle, it's usually me. Not always, but usually. I lead an emotional existence.
15. It's okay to miss a class or an assignment every once in a while if you need a break for some you-time.
However, I will be the first to admit that I occasionally take that advice too far. (I'm still surprised that my Spanish professor knew my name at the end of the semester).
16. Never take for granted the friends who remember to show you the bright side.
On some of my worst days, all I can really remember is that I often ended them by laughing because I always had friends who knew just what I needed. Whether is was ice cream, a National Treasure movie marathon, or just a flood of ridiculous text messages at midnight--they've always been there, and I will never forget that.
17. Self-destructive behavior is only easy to detect if that self isn't you.
I've done a lot of things that seemed like they were just fine at the time, and realized the weight they carried only after the fact. Then I immediately judged someone else while watching them do the same things and never trying to help them.
18. Focusing on yourself doesn't make you a selfish person.
I have spent the last 5 years of my life trying to make sure that the people I loved were okay before I ever considered my own needs, and I'm just now realizing that I should have taken some of that time for myself.
19. Ask for help when you need it.
There are some problems that you just can't fix all alone, and that's okay.
20. Lastly, I learned to stay thankful each and every day for all the things that I was sure I would never make it through, but somehow, I did.
I'm happy I'm here, 20 years in and counting.
