Lately, I've been having a lot of trouble with my gas company. They've sent out workers several times to cut off our gas because the customer service representatives from the corporation have failed to resolve our issues. Even though I've paid the bill, spent several hours collectively on the phone with them, and given them countless chances for redemption, my gas is still being turned off. I've officially had it with customer service, and I can honestly say that I'd rather do these 15 things before ever talking to another customer service representative again!
1. Perform magic tricks.
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With pencils in my eyeballs.
2. Jump off of a cliff.
Weeeeeee!
3. Get a full body wax.
Did you know that the adult human body has about five million hair follicles on it? Me either. I may have to rethink this one.
4. Have a gasoline fight at the gas station.
I've got to make sure to do this before gas prices go back up.
5. Take a bullet to the chest.
As long as I can have ice cream afterwards.
6. Stub my pinky toe on the coffee table.
There is no worse pain.
7. Take my chances with Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.
Is it bogey flavored or chocolate? Who knows.
8. Walk on Legos.
AKA Satan bricks.
9. Take a swig of spoiled milk.
There's nothing like a gulp of chunks.
10. Watch paint dry.
11. Be stuck behind a slow walker.
Oh, the horror.
12. Wait in line at the DMV.
Will this hell ever end?
13. Have a Nicholas Cage movie marathon.
It'll be like watching the same movie over and over again.
14. Wipe my ass with sandpaper.
*Shudders*
15. Listen to Nickelback on repeat.
Just kidding. That's impossible.
