Just like every other year, my birthday rolls around on December 18.

When I was little, I couldn't wait for my birthday. The sleep overs, the cute invitations, the making of lists for who I wanted to invite, and all the decorations and food. Now that I am turning 20, it's like the only reminder that my birthday is the 18 is the fact that my cell phone bill is due the same day. How crazy is it that I hit the big 20? I'm no longer a teenager, maybe at heart, but technically I can finally say I am no longer one. I hit the milestone of being able to be 18 and gamble, now I have 1 more year left until I can have my first, legal drink. It's amazing to think that I have been on this Earth for 20 years. 20. With that being said, there are a lot of things that my 20-year-old self has learned-- some I thought would kill me and others I couldn't thank God enough for blessing me with.

1. Maturity

Not a lot changes from being 19 to 20, but one thing is for certain and that is that maturity levels seem to increase. As for me, I went from not worrying about paying for a thing at 19 to having bills that I sometimes find myself drowning in while still going to class and work every day. Maturity isn't always a bad thing though, I just learned to take on more responsibilities and prioritize better.

2. You're Not Just Growing Older, but the Ones Closest to You Are, too

With age, some of us don't take the time to realize that while we are growing and getting excited for our birthdays that are right around the corner, we might miss to see that our grandparents are just hoping they will make it to see their next one. You will soon begin to realize all of the things that the ones closest to you have done and the immense impact that they truly have had on your life.

3. The Attitude Fades

Growing up, I swear my mom would yell at me multiple times a day about my attitude and sometimes it was so bad that my phone would get taken away. At the time, I didn't think anything of it and I just figured she was overreacting. Now that I am older and I don't live at home, when I do get the chance to go home, I see the way my siblings talk to my parents and it makes me realize just how bad my attitude was. The older you get, the more it seems to fade but why have it in the first place? I guess we all need to grow up sometime. If I were my parents, I probably would've hit me with a shovel.

4. There's More to Life than Partying

Throughout high school, I wasn't much of a partier until I reached my freshman year of college. I couldn't wait to go out every weekend and it seemed to be the only thing getting me through the week was the football players throwing a rager on Saturday night. While partying is fun and getting ready and pre-gaming is lit, it gets old. I love to be the life of the party, but what if the life of the party can barely make it home? There's been times when I had to walk all the back to my dorm alone, times when I lost my shoe, times when I "bifted" it onto the cement from running only to get back up and run again, and times when I didn't even know where I was. Partying is fun. Partying is memorable, if you can remember. Partying is what college is all about. But partying isn't for me anymore. I'm not even 21, so how could I have already ran out of my party stage? Maybe I haven't, but maybe I want to do more with my Friday and Saturday nights than pray that I get home safe-- that's OK.

5. Home

I never knew if I could ever consider college "home" which I can't, but I don't consider where I grew up "home" either. My home is people, not a place. Those people are my family and friends. When I see my parents for the first time since last month, it seems as though so much has changed. My mom has a new hair cut, my dad shaved his beard, my brothers are finally getting along, and my little sister is taller than I am. The older I get, the more thankful I am for "home."

6. Positive People Change Lives

Sometimes when we are younger, we are blind to the fact that the people we think are our friends really just hold us back from more. Surround yourself with people who want what is best for you, who love you no matter what, and who will build you up when you are falling apart. Too much time gets spent on people who don't deserve it, make sure you give your precious time to those who admire you the way you should be.

7. Numbers Do Not Define You

Number on a scale, number for prison, number of years you've been alive, number of people you have been with-- nothing defines. You define you. It seemed as though it was normal to judge people for the fact that they were a different size, that they were locked away, that they were dating someone way younger than them, and whether or not that person was a whore. I have come to the raw realization that nothing in this world including numbers will ever define the heart of gold that you have and the way you treat others. You are more than just a number.

8. It's OK to Eat that Piece of Pizza

Calories, we all secretly look for them to make sure the number isn't too high, but even if it is, we will probably still eat it. I have been in the position before, pizza being my favorite food, where I have felt the need to want to eat the whole box. Do it. From someone who works out every day and watches what they eat, sometimes you just need to eat that whole damn box of pizza or that whole carton of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream-- it's necessary. You only have one body and as long as you love it with all that you have and you take care of it the proper way, eat that last piece of pizza, unbutton your pants, and let that food baby hang out.

9. Focus on the Future, but Remember the Past

Every one says to let go of the past, but how is that possible when things remind you of it? I am known to be the type of person who has a hard time letting go and moving on due to the fact that I put my all into my friendships and relationships. The more I find myself talking to guys, the more it is hard not to bring up my past which has lead some guys to shy away. I have learned that even though your future looks clear with someone else, maybe the topic of what an ex did, isn't the best thing to do. It is important to focus on what the future may be like, but always remember your past.

10. Take A Lot of Pictures

Multiple people complain about how society has us millennials wrapped around our phones, but if I am being honest, yes I am on my phone 99% of the time, but when I am surrounded by people and conversation, the phone is in my pocket. The one condition where it's not in my pocket, is when I am somewhere breathtaking and somewhere I feel as though I won't get that moment back. I pull my phone out so I can take pictures. Pictures of the ocean, pictures of my friends laughing, pictures of the trees, pictures of living life. You won't get any of these moments back, so capture them.

11. Be Selfish

Whenever someone asks what me what I like about myself the most, it takes me awhile to answer due to the fact that I don't like speaking about myself-- selfless. I like to consider myself as a very selfless person who constantly puts others before myself. The ones around me have more important needs than I, so if for some reason I have something to do but they need me, I will be there. The older I get, the more I come to my senses that not everyone has the same heart and intentions that I do and because of this I find myself becoming more selfish and less selfless. Why? Over the past 20 years, I have been a doormat for people who don't put me first the way I do for them. I am being selfish in only one way and that is putting myself first now. I put myself first before others, I put myself first before work, I put myself first before school. If I don't put myself first, who will? Be selfish, but only be the good kind.

12. Love Yourself

I battled with self-hate for years on end. Thoughts of suicide filled my mind at night. I hated my body. I hated myself. It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I slowly began to love myself. It took a rough patch in my senior year to realize that I shouldn't be hating myself the way I was. I found myself working out daily, eating well, and loving every inch of my skin. The most important thing in life is to have self-love.

13. You Don't Need to Have Everything Figured Out

I am a perfectionist at its finest; everything must be perfect. So when I went into my freshman year thinking that I would be majoring in Special Education to have it only change two months later to Journalism, I thought my world was over. I am only 20 years-old and for some reason, I feel as though I need to have my entire life planned out for me before it happens. This is my reminder to myself when I find that I am constantly picking at the things "I feel like I need to have figured out": stop breathing and start living, stop planning and start doing, stop worrying and start being. You don't have to have anything figured out before you turn 20 and not every 20 year-old who claims they have their life figured out, does. Let's be honest.

14. Stress isn't Always Bad

Stress never existed in my life until I got to college and it seemed to take over my entire life. Stress led to crying. Crying led binge eating. Binge eating led to thinking I was fat. Thinking I was fat led to crying again. Crying again led to stressing again. It is a repetitive cycle that took over my life for about a year. My stress developed its own stress and sometimes I stressed over just having stress. Looking back a year from last, I learned how to handle my stress in a much more positive way. I have bad things happen all the time that cause me to stress, but it's not the type of stress that makes me sick or cry. Sometimes stress isn't bad, sometimes it just means that you are simply living and feeling.

15. Don't Care

We have all heard it multiple times while growing up and going to school, "you shouldn't care what other people think." While it's easy to hear, it's another thing to act upon it and really not care. In high school, I was part of the more popular crowd while also being friends with every clique there was. I wasn't one of the mean girls or one of the girls that would judge every single person that walked past them in the halls. I was the girl that wanted everyone to like me and for no one to have judgements on who I was, what I looked like, or what I did. I cared what people thought-- I cared what everyone thought. My mom would constantly tell me to just let things go and say her famous line of, "Sesa, you shouldn't care what those people think. They won't matter in 5 years." At that time, it seemed like the end of the world. Now I am looking back at it 5 years later and man, was my mom right.

16. Be Open

One of the biggest things I have learned over the past 20 years that will push people away from you is how open or closed you are as a person. For me, I am extremely open when it comes to things besides two main things: my real dad and my depression. For most, being open scares them because it gives other people the option to hurt them-- while this is the case, being an open person gives others the option to really get to know the person you are on the inside and not just what your looks deceive you as. Be open with others, be open with life, be open with yourself. The worst that can happen is you get hurt, but you give life the option to hurt you every single day when you wake up.

17. Learn to Move On

I have come to the realization that one of the main things that has been hardest for me over the years is that I can't move on from things. Whether it's from a bad grade on an assignment, a boy who broke my heart a year ago, drama that happened with my best friend, or any other incident that has meant something to me-- I can't seem to let it go. I think this is because the biggest things in my life that took up thousands of pictures on my phone, memories in my mind, conversations I replay in my mind, things that remind me of that specific moment; it meant something to me, something that will take a lifetime for me to move on from. It is a constant struggle to remind myself that everything does happen for a reason, but it's time to learn from where I came from and who I experienced life with in the past because it isn't the same anymore. I am not the same. They are not the same. It's different and that's OK. Learn to grow, learn to move on.

18. It's OK to Say No

I was always the girl that people walked all over because they knew that my heart was pure and I would never say no. The more you get walked on, the more you realize that it gets old. Say no, don't be afraid. If you get called a bitch then so be it. Stop letting other people walk all over you. Stop giving other people more credit than they deserve, because they wouldn't do the same for you.

19. What's a Queen without a King?

A queen. You came into this beautiful world without a man, you don't need one to fulfill your every need and want. It's more than possible to be happy on your own, I've been doing it for a long time and I can tell you that I haven't been happier. Sure, I would love to be in a relationship but I have learned that there's nothing wrong with being alone. Right now is my time to focus on me, figure out what I want, and love myself. Remember, I am only 20.

20. Keep Learning, Keep Living

I'm only 20-- I still have my entire life ahead of me filled with bad ideas, dreams, good intentions, and a whole lot of love for life. I am not always going to make the perfect choices but that's how I learn from the mistakes I make. I gamble life every day by waking up, but I am putting it in Gods hands to make sure as His child, I end up right where I am meant to be.