After I turned 27 a few weeks ago, I've had to come terms with the fact that I am officially in my late twenties. I can't help but sit and think about how fast time has flown by and how much more tired and jaded I've become. Just kidding... but not really. Life does change when you enter your late twenties and there's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well learn to embrace it like I have.
Here are 20 things that happen when you're in your late twenties:
1. You can no longer pull all-nighters
When I was in my early twenties, I could pull an all-nighter here and there and be fine. Now, I can't even stay awake past 2 a.m.
2. You feel old when you realize that people who were born in the late 90s are entering college now
Whenever I step foot on campus as a graduate student, I immediately feel old and envious of those who still have light in their eyes and are full of hopes and dreams.
3. You'd rather stay inside and binge watch Netflix than go out to a bar
Why would I want to go out and spend money when I can stay in and save money by drinking a glass of wine on my couch while I binge watch "Shameless" for the millionth time? Plus, no people!
4. Hangovers feel like death
I can't recover like I used to. I feel like death, I can't stop vomiting and everything hurts. The room is spinning, oh god why did I slam that long island iced tea and drink two rum and cokes last night? I'm never drinking again.
5. You don't give as many fucks about things that don't matter
Someone was rude to you at the coffee shop? Who gives a fuck about them? Someone told you they didn't like your outfit? No fucks given, who cares what the fuck they think. Some guy you met on Tinder didn't text you back after a few dates? He's not worth your fucking time.
6. Your metabolism starts to change
Yes, your metabolism changes and so does your body. It's time to start getting serious about taking care of your body and mind. I need to do that for myself too.
7. You'd rather eat a healthy home-cooked meal than some shitty takeout
When I was in my early twenties, I didn't like to cook because I didn't have time and I'd rather not take the time to learn. Now, I am learning how to cook healthy meals on a budget and I wish I would have learned how to cook earlier in my life. Shitty, greasy food is a waste of money and my body dislikes it. I do have my moments where I'll just pick up a Hot 'N Nasty aka Hot 'N Ready Little Caesar's Pizza, but I'd rather make my own pizza at home.
8. Almost all of your friends are engaged, married, pregnant or have kids
Today on Facebook, I've seen five engagements, three weddings, two pregnancy announcements and like 975 baby pictures. Fuck, I am getting old. Make it stop.
9. You make a budget and keep track of your money
You stop mindlessly spending money when you realize you're broke at the end of the month because you bought that costume for your cat on Amazon and that cute dress with the plunging neckline you know you're only going to wear once in your lifetime. You start to keep track of your bills and spending because you're a grown ass human being and need to start being responsible with your money.
10. You start to give a shit about your credit score
When you're in your early twenties, you don't really think about how much your credit can affect your future. It can make the difference between being able to get a loan for a new car and buying a house. You learn about the importance of building credit, paying your bills on time and monitoring your credit in case some piece of shit steals your identity. Having good credit is important.
11. You stop buying uncomfortable and unpractical shoes
Comfortable shoes DO make a difference. You start to realize that even though a pair of $10 purple high heels from Forever 21 is cute and stylish, the fact that they leave blisters on your heels and leave your feet in great pain isn't worth it. Goodbye heels, hello flats and Dr. Scholl's!
12. You are settling down or thinking about settling down
You start to get sick of the dating scene, aimless swiping on Tinder, going on disappointing dates and the childish head games. You would rather meet someone who genuinely cares about you, wants to spend time with you and is worth your time.
13. You become OK with getting carded
The older you get, you start become flattered that you get carded when buying alcohol. It keeps you feeling young.
14. You get serious about your health
Making yearly physicals, teeth cleanings every six months and finding time to work out start to become a priority in your late twenties. You must face the reality that is getting older, which means no more eating junk food at midnight and getting less than 5 hours of sleep.
15. You get excited about getting new towels, a vacuum or other household items
My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year and I told her I wanted new towels.
16. You become mildly offended when younger people don't know the 90s TV shows you're referencing
What do you mean you don't know the "Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!" song from Ren and Stimpy and don't know what TGIF on ABC was? Oh wait, that was before your time.
17. You can't stand the idea of hanging around a bunch of 18-22 year olds at a party
I can't do it. They're all too drunk, too loud, too obnoxious and too carefree!
18. You go to so many weddings
Everyone you know is getting married when you're 25 and older.
19. You make an effort to get a full eight hours of sleep
You cherish sleep more than ever, especially when you no longer have the option to take naps at any point in the day.
20. For the most part, you're more sure of yourself in late twenties than you are in your early twenties
I'm truly at the best point in my life right now even though I have no fucking clue what I'm doing some of the time. What I do know is I'm going to enjoy the shit out of the remainder of my twenties.
