Welcome to The Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles. Membership costs $49.99 a month and $59.99 on the third month. The first 20 members to sign up can take advantage of the pay what you weigh promotion.
Dwight Schrute once opened up a gym in The Office called The Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles. The assistant to the assistant regional manager, Scranton beet farmer, and volunteer sheriff's deputy must be a good personal trainer to claim to be "faster than 80% of all snakes" right?
Well, let's find out. Here is what you could expect if Dwight Schrute was your personal trainer.
1. Karate
Karate is a great skill to have, especially for defending yourself against bears in Scranton.
2. Intimidation
“Finish your set on your own, then never come back to my gym again.”
-Dwight
3. Parkour
Getting from point A to point B in the most creative way possible.
4. Spin Class
“The hill is a trap take the dirt road off to the side. Go for the cliff in 3, 2, 1… JUMP!!!.”
Dwight just might be one of the most intense spin classes instructors for someone who wasn’t even the actual instructor of the class.
5. Stretching the "pelvic bowl"
We're gonna warm up by stretching the "pelvic bowl". Its so "cutting edge" you haven't even heard of it before.6. Aerobic Dance Class
Dwight may not be the best dancer in the office but he is more qualified to teach an aerobic dance class then Andy, who tore his scrotum while dancing.
7. Reverse Squats
Works your arms and your legs at the same time!
8. Benching Your Boss
Teamwork makes the dream work!
9. Ab Strengthening Exercises
“My gym, my rules. You do exactly what I say no questions asked.”
-Dwight
10. (But not planks)
11. More Parkour
12. Carbo loading before the race
Fettuccine alfredo before a 5K with no water... no pain no gain I guess.
13. Beets (of course!)
14. Extreme dieting tactics
“This is your last meal there will be no leftovers.”
*sprays the food with raid*
15. The best full body workout out there...
16. Walking... back from a bad part of town
Dwight once dropped Phyllis off at an abandoned warehouse 5 miles out of town and made her walk back with no money and no phone.
17. Whatever this is...
Neck strengthening? Bicep curl? Who knows, but its probably promoting injury and maybe even a decrease in strength.
18. Attempting to seduce your girlfriend at the gym
"I don't quit until something tears or pops."
-Dwight
19. The Gravel Bucket Squat
The Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles comes with exercise equipment straight out of a scene from Saw V. If you've ever tried cutting 5 yards of tin, your forearms will be on fire.
20. The Phonebook Ripping Station
Dwight may have invented one of the toughest strength tests out there and we finally have a use for phone books again.
Overall, Dwight may not be the best personal trainer out there, and The Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles may not be as effective as he thought it would be. His workouts promote injury and prevent you from ever wanting to workout again. He doesn't have the greatest advice on nutrition considering he made Michael Scott throw up fettuccine alfredo after a 5K and hammered rotten fruit into the vending machine.
Dwight might be a good paper salesman, but he would not make the greatest personal trainer. Unfortunately, there are a lot of trainers out there that promote similar things to the Dwight Schrute workout. Remember to get your health and fitness advice from someone who is knowledgeable in the field and provides a safe and effective practice. Beet farmers do not make good personal trainers.