Being 20 is scary because that means you're almost 21. I feel like by the time I'm able to legally buy a margarita, I should be doing something with my life like paying taxes or in some sort of long-term commitment. Rather, I'm on Netflix more than I'm studying for my classes, and my life is kind of a mess. But that's okay.

1. You won’t regret spontaneous adventures.

This is harder to do the younger you are. You can’t really say, “hey mom, can you drive me out 45 minutes? There’s this abandoned building I really wanna check out.” But do what you can. It can be as simple as walking down streets you’ve never been down, or climbing to rooftops and stargazing, or hammocking in unusual places. They’ll be stories to tell. Memories made. It’s ok to break the norm every once in a while. Just don’t get arrested.

2. Tell people how you feel, always.

I still struggle with this one. It’s hard when you’re afraid of rejection, or stammering over your words or tripping over your feet. But why hold back? Whether it’s telling someone you’re mad as hell at them or madly in love, usually you feel better in the long run if you get it out. Even if it’s not the response you anticipated. At least, you did it. And that’s something to be proud of. Of course, use your discretion. Don’t tell the cop that pulled you over that you think he’s a jackass. I repeat. Don’t get arrested.

3. Cherish your high school years.

Ok yeah, high school can feel like it sucks unless you’re extremely involved in everything under the sun. But it can still be fun if you’re surrounded by the right people. At times I thought I hated high school and I was so ready to leave. But now I constantly find myself wishing that I had as much stress as I did when I was in high school (none, compared to college).

4. Adults (real ones) are actually smart.

I say real ones because technically, lawfully, I’m an adult. But turning 18 certainly didn’t make me any wiser or smarter. And moving out and adult responsibilities? Ew. My biggest role models in school were a few of my teachers. I got close to them and they advised me about things that were beyond my years. That helped me understand that it’s ok not to have the answers right now. Yeah talking to teachers is kind of weird, but I suggest talking to an adult. They may be fun-killers, but they do have something to offer.

5. Don’t be afraid to get in trouble.

I’ll say this again, don’t get arrested. But sometimes you need to stand up for what you believe in. It’s important. Use your voice. Make people angry. Don’t be afraid to say something that might put people on the edge of their seats.

6. Pets are sometimes better than humans.

They don’t talk back, sometimes they cuddle, and they don’t need to understand what you’re going through to make you smile. Before I got my puppies and my cat, sometimes I even thought my parakeets were better than some humans. Get a fish and talk to him. They’ll love you unconditionally.

7. Best friends > a lot of friends.

I had a good amount of friends in high school. But sometimes, I would hang out with my “friends” and still feel alone. I know most people know that feeling. Hang out with the people that make you feel present and whole all the time. And if that’s only two people, so be it. They’re probably the two luckiest people in the world because you’re in their life.

8. Sometimes you need to get away.

The town you live in gets old. You grew up there, and even if you didn’t, spending all day every day there can get old fast. You begin to forget that there’s more out there. You can feel stuck, or lost, or overwhelmed. Drive to a different city one day. One that has a completely different atmosphere. Breathe different air. Breathe. You’re not stuck.

9. Sex, drugs, and Rock n’ Roll

We all have morals and things and things we won't do based on our personal beliefs. That’s great. If you feel you’re ready to have sex, or if you want to drink at that party, great. Be careful, know your limits, but great. And if you’d rather stay celibate and clean, that’s great too. But what’s not good is condemning or judging other people for doing one or the other. Do what makes YOU happy. (Don’t get arrested. repeated theme).

10. Hurry up and wait.

Don’t stress yourself out with things that can be controlled. This can apply to school work, actual work, life…get what you need to do done and fast, and then you will have time to chill out and take a step back and make sure things are ok.

11. Fake it ’til you make it.

The motto. When I performed with band and dance and color guard and stuff, my director would always say this; if you don’t know what you’re doing, you better sure as heck look like you do. Eventually, you’ll get there. Don't be a fake person, but keep doing what you’re doing until it becomes habitual and natural. Keep smiling until it’s real.

12. Don’t try to forget.

We all have crazy stuff in our past. Some crazier than others, and we all deal with them in different ways. That’s okay. But don’t suppress the memories, as painful as they may be, because one day, something might trigger that awful memory, and you’ll find yourself breaking down and going crazy over something that happened years ago. Take your past and accept it. It happened. It sucks. But it’s ok. You made it.

13. Let yourself love and be loved.

If you’re anything like me, you hate it when people…care. Like, you feel overwhelmed, and kind of want people to back off so you can be alone and deal with things on your own. But that’s kind of a sucky way to deal with things…because you want to love people but you’re not letting them love you back. It’s a two-way street. It’s ok to have people care about you. It means you’re doing something right.

14. Don’t demean your feelings.

Your feelings are your feelings and because they’re how you feel, it’s important. Even if it isn’t to someone else. You’re sad because something didn’t go the way you planned, or because something happened? Be fucking sad. Don’t dwell on it, but don’t let yourself or anyone else tell you that you can’t feel what you’re feeling because it’s “stupid” to feel that way. Your feelings are never stupid.

15. Get involved in anything.

I kind of touched on this earlier. High school and/or college can be kind of lonely if you aren’t involved. Yes, it’s hard to branch out. Trust me, I know. But even if it’s one thing that you really love, even if you think it might be super lame, I bet you’ll meet some pretty cool people that are also into the super lame thing that you’re into.

16. It’s okay that you’ve changed.

You won’t have the same friends that you had freshman year of high school that you’ll have your senior year. People that you thought you would talk to forever… you begin to lose interest in. That’s ok. You’re figuring out who and what you like, and you should be surrounded by people and things you want to be surrounded by. Change hurts, but it’s inevitable. Sometimes it’s good. I’m sure as hell glad that I’m not the same person I was in 8th grade. Ew.

17. Listen to your teachers/ professors.

Yeah, they’re total hard-asses and buzz kills and know-it-alls and the list can go on and on, but (most of the time) they know what they’re talking about. And if they don’t, just get through this year or semester.

18. Homesickness is real.

If you go out of state for college, it’s a struggle. You miss your friends and your family more than you can bear but as easy as it seems to get in a car or jump on a plane, that’s not the answer. Trust me. You’ll only feel worse on the ride back, and resent the new town that you live in. The first month or two is the hardest. Then life kind of settles down. Also, remember that skype and phone calls exist. Sometimes it helps to see the faces or hear the voices of the ones you love, rather than just sending an empty text.

19. Learn who you can trust.

When you leave high school and enter college or a new city, it's hard to know who you can and can't trust. Start small, with a few people, but always have someone you know you can rely on in times of hardship. You never know when you'll need them.

19. Breathe.

Life is hard. It really is. And no matter who you are, if you’re reading this, I know you’re dealing with something at the moment. Your dog just died, you’re failing a class, you just broke up with your girlfriend, you’re suicidal, you miss home, the list can go on. If you’ve ever gone to a yoga or Pilates class (or even just work out regularly), you know that it hurts. And the more you struggle, the more you forget to breathe. Sometimes you just need a reminder, and then your muscles relax, and you sink in, and things get easier.

Very cheesy analogy, but you get my point. This is your reminder. There will always be a struggle. Take a step back, and breathe.