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20 Texts That Blow Up Your College Roommate's Phone Every Day

"The room smells weird. I think something is wrong."

Honor Ford

Apr 24, 2017

Susquehanna University

20 Texts That Blow Up Your College Roommate's Phone Every Day

Honor Ford

1. Where are you?

2. When are you getting back?

(I have gossip to tell you!)

3. Did you watch This Is Us?

4. Did you watch Dancing With The Stars?

5. Did you watch The Bachelor?

(We might watch a lot of TV.)

6. How old is the food in the fridge?

(AKA can I eat it without dying?)

7. Can I use your coffee maker?

(I haven't eaten all day and I'm craving ramen.)

8. Can you unlock the door? I locked myself out.

9. There's a bug in here. Can you come kill it?

(It's making weird buzzing noises.)

10. Our dorm is too hot.

(The heater has not worked until right this very second and I have no idea how to turn it off.)

11. Our dorm is too cold.

(The heater won't turn back on.)

12. How'd your exam go?

(I'm here for you. Solidarity, sister.)

13. How many days till the end of the semester?

(I don't wanna do any more work but also I don't want to take finals. Ya feel?)

14. Did you register for classes?

(Please help. My degree audit makes no sense and I wanna graduate.)

15. How do I register for classes?

(I think I registered for these classes but with my luck I'll end up with 8 credits next semester because I'm technology-impaired.)

16. We need to vacuum.

(There's only so much a brush and dustpan can pick up.)

17. Do I really need to pass this class?

(I'm not failing but I have so much to do and I don't WANNA.)

18. I locked myself out again.

(IT'S HAPPENED TWICE TODAY AND I'M SORRY I SUCK.)

19. See you soon!

(It's only been a weekend but I miss you already.)

20. Love you!

(You're pretty awesome.)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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20 Texts That Blow Up Your College Roommate's Phone Every Day

"The room smells weird. I think something is wrong."

1. Where are you?

2. When are you getting back?

3. Did you watch This Is Us?

4. Did you watch Dancing With The Stars?

5. Did you watch The Bachelor?

6. How old is the food in the fridge?

7. Can I use your coffee maker?

8. Can you unlock the door? I locked myself out.

9. There's a bug in here. Can you come kill it?

10. Our dorm is too hot.

11. Our dorm is too cold.

12. How'd your exam go?

13. How many days till the end of the semester?

14. Did you register for classes?

15. How do I register for classes?

16. We need to vacuum.

17. Do I really need to pass this class?

18. I locked myself out again.

19. See you soon!

20. Love you!

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

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