From time to time we all feel anxious and uneasy in certain situations. However, when an anxiety towards something is deeply severe and enough to trigger sweaty palms and an increased heart rate every single time, it is known as a phobia. A phobia is defined as an extremely irrational fear of something. Mostly everyone I know has a phobia of something, including myself. I have Entomophobia or a phobia of insects. Whether it is a spider or a bee, I am severely afraid of any type of insect and have had many traumatizing experiences.
Like every phobia, my phobia stemmed from a childhood experience. One night when I was about to enter the house I lived in back then, I came across a suspicious species. It was late at night and very dark so I wasn’t able to see clearly what it was. However, when I discovered what it was, I screamed and ran into my dad’s arms as the cockroaches were slowly climbing on my legs. My dad quickly brushed the cockroach off of me, but the movement of the cockroach crawling on my legs invoked a disgusting feeling inside of me. I was so horrified by this experience, I never entered the house again without being carried in my dad’s arms.
Ever since that experience as a young child, I have had difficulties adjusting to my fear. During summer time, I would refuse to go outside and play due to the fear that there would be several insects flying and crawling everywhere. One horrifying experience I had outdoors was in 9th grade when one of my friends put a cicada on me after picking it up from the ground in P.E. class. We were standing in line and since the cicadas show up once every seventeen years or so, my friend picked one up and put it on my shoulder. I immediately panicked and started screaming and running away in an effort to get it off my shoulder. She later apologized since she didn’t know that I was severely scared of insects. Throughout the years, it was a struggle getting through outdoor activities in school with my Entomophobia.
Another embarrassing experience I had with my phobia was a few years ago when guests came over to my house. As the guests were entering the house through the front door, a bumblebee entered. I noticed the bee as I was sitting in the living room with the guests and looked at it in horror. I tried keeping my calm, but I was unsuccessful and started crying and complaining to my dad about the bee. My face turned red, heart rate increased, and tears were streaming from my eyes as I hid in a corner of the living room. Everyone tried to calm me down but I refused to listen and was only in peace once my dad managed to kill the bee. After this incident, every time someone left the front door or deck door open, I quickly closed it out of the fear that an insect may enter.
Living with Entomophobia has not been easy and I am still tremendously afraid of insects. Even today when I come across a spider or cockroach, I can’t muster the courage to confront it and kill it. It is an irrational fear I have even though I understand that they're harmless creatures and I have more power over them. I am not ashamed to admit that I am twenty years old and still afraid of spiders, cockroaches, bumblebees, or any other insects because I know that my friends and family members will protect me whenever I can’t fight my fear.
