Welcome to your twenties my young girl. And yes I will repeat that to you again, YOUNG girl. I know you thought your life would be much more together at this point, but well it’s the 21^st century so please breathe and eat some pizza. Much like other girls my age, I had always imagined that by 25 I would be married, baby on the way, almost finished with professional school, and a master at cooking. *pause and insert laugh here* Maybe I have my super ambitious mother to blame for this ridiculous expectation. I mean a wife, mother, and practicing pharmacist before she was 24, you go girl go. However, as I begin to start my own twenties I have come to realize that my path might be a little bit different than the cookie cutter life I had once imagined, and honestly I think it’s okay. Because let's be honest I can't keep track of my car keys, let alone a small child. So to my newly twenty-some ladies, here is my realistic advice to you:

Be Single, It’s Not the End of the World

Beyonce was not married till she was 27 so I am sure you will be fine. Stop fretting over the idea that you’re going to die alone, or that you’re going to be cast on the new TV show The Real Single Ladies of Oakland County. [TBH though if that show gets me closer to knowing Beyonce then sign me up]. Embrace this time to learn the value of self-confidence, and what it means to be truly content with who you are. Therefore, by the time someone does come along you won’t need them to make up for the self love that you failed to give yourself.

You are Going to Fail

Accept the idea that you will fail, and you will fail many times, it’s a part of life. However one of the biggest lessons my mother always taught me was the idea that you can either get upset about it or go out there and do something. Sure there are failed tests, relationships, applications, and everything in between but if you don’t pick yourself back up then you’re still at the same place you first started. Get up and get moving little one.

By All Means Stop Worrying About the Future

For starters ‘worrying causes wrinkles, and Botox is expensive.’ Learn to live in the moment and start to appreciate the now. Your body wont feel this good or look this good in 40 years, so appreciate all the opportunities that have been put on your plate at this moment. Most importantly stop wishing away the nows trying so hard to fulfill the future. Too many times we forget that as we get older, the ones closest to us are also aging.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Everyone Around You

Your twenties are not the same as your BFF’s twenties or that 23 year old model on Instagram. Some people’s twenties are about relationships and finding their person to tackle life with, other people’s twenties are about tackling their career head on and becoming a badass CEO of the next rising company. Understand that your goals will not always be the same as the women around you. That being said, don’t depreciate another female because her goals are different than yours either. This is your life, focus on yourself my dear.

Above all understand that your twenties are a time filled with trials and plenty of errors. As a newer member of the twenty and up club, I can assure you that there will be many nights of wishing you could be 17 again and that you didn’t have to worry about the odd world of adulting. However, also understand that you still have so much wonderful life ahead of you. Go out with your girl friends, explore the California vineyards, makeout with that semi decent looking guy, find something you love and pour every ounce of yourself into it. This is your life my dear and your twenties are your time to figure out what type of life you wish to pursue. So explore, fail, and throw away the cookie cutters.