Shameless is a remake of the British television series, and it’s about a poor family on the south side of Chicago trying to pay off the bills even if it means breaking the law. Fiona Gallagher, the main character, becomes the guardian of her five siblings, so she can keep them out of foster care. Between her bipolar runaway mom and her alcoholic father with a drug addiction, she has no time for bullsh*t, and neither do I. Pay attention to the signs. They may be obvious to most of you, but I promise you that when you see some of these signs you’ll try to ignore them. I’d like to believe that I deserve better than some of these signs, and I’m here to tell you that you should too.
1. He doesn’t give you space.
This may sound like it wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s a bad sign in the long run. You want your man to have goals, ambition, and a plan without breathing down your neck every second. No one should ever have their world revolve around a single person. Although love is important, make sure that even though you’re a big part of his world, you shouldn’t be his whole world. Same goes for you.
2. He won’t want to ever hold your hand in public.
I should’ve known better when this happened. If he doesn’t want to show you to the world, then he doesn’t want people to know about you. This could happen if you guys have decided you aren’t exclusive in which case, there is nothing to worry about. Otherwise there is a good chance he’s not into it. Don’t waste your time. Oh Ian Gallagher, I'll let you know when I figure out men.
3. He’ll purposely try to get you mad.
He’ll call you names or give you other reasons to dump his ass, so he doesn’t have to dump you. It’s childish and frustrating. If you don’t want me, tell me. Don’t go on about how unattractive I look today. Or maybe he’ll be even more straightforward than that. I had one guy tell me to my face that his goal for the night was to make me mad. Why? I’ll never know.
4. He’ll tell you things like everyone would be better off if you killed yourself.
I’m really hoping that I’m the only one who’s experienced this. Don’t ever in a billion years be with or want to be with a guy who couldn’t care less if you died. This made me feel absolutely worthless. The person you’re supposed to be with is the person who makes you feel like a million bucks. To the guy who told me this, I don't know where you are now, but these are my feelings for you now:
5. He’s not adding wood to the fire.
Love always starts as a feeling, but later it becomes a choice. Both of you have to put in effort to make it work. Every relationship starts with a spark, but eventually the flame is going to burn out, and you’re BOTH going to have to find more wood to keep the fire going. He’s got to pull as much weight as you.
He doesn’t have to be all buddy-buddy with your dad or anything to be the one for you, but he needs to at least respect the relationships that you have with your loved ones. He shouldn’t call them names or insult your culture. Where you come from is a part of who you are, so if he stomps on your roots, kick him out now. If you are anything like the Gallaghers, family is first especially when it comes to Liam.
7. He will try to shine brighter than you at all times.
He should support you and celebrate with you when you accomplish something that is important to you, but there are some guys that are going to try to top you. This is a big problem. Love is not about competition. You both should be allowed to shine sometimes. You’ll have your moments, and he’ll have his and that’s okay. I had a guy put me down because he was making money, and I had an unpaid internship at the time. Don’t let it get to you. Find someone who builds you up, not someone who keeps score.
8. Nothing will be good enough to keep him around.
You could literally give him your heart, secrets, V-card and all, but it wouldn’t make a difference. You are trying everything to make him stay, but he’s just not interested. You can’t help that you want him, and he can’t help that he doesn’t want you, but if you're like V, you'll bounce right back.
9. He’ll start ghosting you.
This seems to be really common in our generation. It’s immature to “ghost” someone. Face them. Be friends with them if you agreed on that. Don’t just disappear, but if you do, you’re not worth another person’s time. Steve or Jimmy or Jack or whatever his name is, he's a pro at ghosting. Don't take your time with someone like him.
10. He’ll make you so insecure that you’ll refuse to look yourself in the mirror.
Yes, there was one guy I dated that brought out an insecurity in me, and unfortunately I haven’t been able to get rid of it since. He made me feel like I was an ugly, disgusting human being who wasn’t worth a second of anyone’s time. I’m sure hoping the girl he’s with right now doesn’t feel that way around him. If he’s the one, he won’t make you look in the mirror and dissect yourself to figure out what’s wrong with you. You won’t believe me, but you probably deserve better. Hell, anyone deserves better than Frank.
11. You know that if you leave, he won’t come after you.
Ever heard the saying, “If you love it, let it go. If it comes back, it was always yours”? I think that sometimes we make up excuses for the ones we love in hopes that they’ll change. We think it’s complicated, but it’s actually really simple. I think we have the most trouble letting go because deep down we know if we set them free, they won’t come back to us.
12. He’s the boy of your dreams, not the man.
We all have our imaginary checklists of what we want in a future partner, but we never think that we’ll actually find exactly what we want. I met the boy of my dreams a few months ago, but there’s a difference between that and the man of your dreams. I didn’t realize this until later. Carl Gallagher is every girl's dream. He's a bad boy with a good heart, but you're hoping that one day he'll grow up and he'll be more than you could ever want.
13. He will bring out the worst in you.
I never was the insanely jealous kinda girl, but I became one so quickly with a guy I went out with. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling that clingy with someone, but I was when I was with him. Don't become like Debs. Everyone hates Debs.
14. He won’t ever want to meet your parents.
If he’s not planning on meeting your parents sometime in the future, it means he ain’t staying too long. He’s not interested in eating your Mom’s homemade apple pie, petting your dog, or coming over for dinner. I wouldn't blame him though if your parents were Frank and Monica.
15. He doesn’t treat his mother, sister(s), or any other female relatives well.
This is a sign that down the line he’s probably going to treat you the exact same way. He should respect women. He shouldn't need Mandy to tell him that.
What if you’re a strong independent individual who don’t need no man, but would like one? What if you know what you want when you want it? What if you’re bold? Some guys don’t like that. They know you’re fierce and vocal and confident. If a guy doesn’t like that, then drop him like a hot cake.
17. He is not satisfying your sexual needs.
If you two are sexually active, and he doesn’t care about your experiences being as pleasurable for you as they are for him, then he’s not the one. Relationships are all about give and take. Why does he get to have all the fun and be insensitive about your feelings?
This is a sign of immaturity. Yes, a guy may not want to hear the gory details about the menstrual cycle, but if you run out of tampons or Aleve and you’re in a lot of pain, and he’s not willing to go to the store quickly and get you some because he doesn't feel like it, he’s not the one. Guess what guys? It’s a part of life.
19. You want very different things.
What if he wants kids, and you don’t? What if he wants to live on a farm, but you want to live in New York City? One of you is going to have to really compromise and possibly end up very unhappy. Sorry Lip, there's a good chance you can't do it all. You got to choose what is best for you.
20. He’s the wrong kind of shameless.
If he’s afraid to tell you that he loves you, but he’s not afraid to hurt you, he’s not good enough to be with you. If he hits you on purpose, he's not good enough for you. If he shows no interest in your ideas and opinions, he's not good enough for you. There is no shame in loving someone, but there is shame in becoming someone's worst nightmare.
Good luck to all the ones trying to find their partners in this crazy life. Hopefully, you’ll find the great love that Kev and V have.
