It's almost Halloween, and if you're an American not living under a rock, you know what that means... Christmas is coming. If you've walked around any store, you have seen the red and green vomit that is trying so hard to overtake the fall in preparation for the apparent "happiest" season of the year. My roommates have already discussed decorating our apartment in the next few weeks, and last week the first Christmas song was sang in chapel at my college. If you're anything like me, this infuriates you more than most things in life. If you're only slightly annoyed by this, here are some reasons that you need to cross over to the dark side and embrace the Grinch or Scrooge within you.

1. Santa Claus is the subject of nightmares

At any other time, a man who watches you while you sleep and comes down your chimney without your permission would be considered a criminal, but at Christmas time, it is celebrated. That's terrifying to me, especially after being required to sit on his lap at the mall for years.

2. Unnecessary snowman obsession

Snowmen do not come alive and march around the city with children nor do they come alive in order to save you from your sister with ice powers that froze the city. They often end up looking like dirty piles of sludge after spending excruciating hours with frozen fingers. Please don't ask me to build one, especially in song form.

3. Ugly Christmas sweaters are cringe worthy

Why anyone would willingly place synthetic fibers with lights and gaudy tinsel on their body to attend a party is beyond me.

4. Christmas music is nauseating

Some say Christmas season officially starts on November 1st. For me, November 1st is the time when I officially turn off the public radio and listen solely to Spotify to avoid the jingle bells and the little Saint Nicks and the hippopotamuses that everyone else is so willing to sing along with.

5. Empty wallets

The $3.19 trillion dollar Christmas industry is enough evidence to state that we spend way too much money on one day of the year.

6. God Rest Ye Merry Capitalists

From Black Friday to Cyber Monday to last minute Christmas Eve shopping, the retail industry has seemed to capitalize on your need to purchase things, culminating in major sales that often cause you to buy more than you ever planned on. I'm all about the spirit of giving, but does that require a spirit of incessant spending and impending greed as well?

7. Flannel torture

Let's face the facts, nothing good happens when all of your family is forced to wear matching flannel pajama pants or awful sweaters for the sake of a Christmas picture.

8. Envelopes of sadness

Nothing like realizing how many of your family and friends you haven't talked to in the past year than going through your address book to send Christmas cards. Who doesn't want to receive a cheesy photo with lyrics to a Christmas song that you've heard 83 million times in the past week with a letter of everything that a family has done for the past year from your third cousin that you didn't even knew existed?

9. The elf life isn't for everyone

Through all of the commercialization of the holiday, gift giving becomes mundane and full of hassle. You have to make your way through the crowds at a mall filled with Santa-sitting children just to purchase something that may or may not be re-gifted next year. By the time you give the gift, you're so exhausted that you barely notice their reaction.

10. It's the thought that counts?

Everyone knows the rule: if someone gives you a gift, you are expected to give one in return. Although people claim that the spirit of giving is most important, if I were to give you a bucket of old socks or a printed out picture of a zebra that I found in the back of my closet, I would be judged and the recipient would be upset that I don't value their relationship more highly.

11. Premature Christmas Decorations = Death

I went to Hobby Lobby in July and there were Christmas trees next to the multitude of patriotic décor. I had to leave the store to avoid a rampage.

12. The day you dread all year long

Although this event may be filled with childhood memories and fun times of laughing with family, carrying box after box from storage just to find that you don't have enough hooks to hang all of the ornaments is exhausting. Not to mention fighting the elements and your sense of gravity when hanging Christmas lights from the roof in order to impress all of the passersby.

13. Tangled ball of death

Speaking of Christmas lights, just no.

15. What goes up, must come down.