I’ve been super into The Sims franchise for, like, a really long time. So long, in fact, that when I began my addiction the Internet wasn’t really a thing and I used to take breaks from playing to put my Britney Spears album into the CD-ROM drive and sing along to “Baby One More Time” from the comfort of my 1995 Dell computer monitor. Yeah. It’s been that long. I’ve grown up with the game, grown apart because I thought I was too “cool,” and then grown back together again.

Anyways, now that I’m older I feel like I can finally talk about everything the institution that is The Sims has taught me over the many years with only a slight shred of embarrassment (but not really). I’ve learned these things the hard way. I’ve woken up for screaming toddlers, been electrocuted by television sets, and endured countless fires set off by birthday candles. I’ve argued with the Grim Reaper, heard the legends of Bella Goth, and assembled a family tree that extends further than the possibilities of occurrences in this virtual world.

I’m ready to impart my years of The Sims related wisdom on the rest of the world, because, as it turns out, a life simulation game is actually not that different from real life itself.

Without further adieu, here are the 20 real life lessons I learned from playing The Sims:

1. Talk to strangers.

Open up your world. You’ll learn more about yourself and your surroundings this way. For instance, this guy feels that it’s super important to tell my sim about a red square. And you know what? It probably is.

2. Find out what makes you happy.

And then just do it. This is one of the coolest parts of life. You’re allowed to do what you love. Are you an artist? Do you like collecting things? How about reading? Writing? Playing chess? Figure out what it is that makes you the happiest and then just do it. Life is too short not to, man.

3. Always try new things.

You have to be open to new experiences and new opportunities to know what you like and dislike. Practice saying “yes” to everything that comes your way like you’re Jim Carrey in that movie that everyone forgot about.

4. ... Even if you fail.

Failing is the best part of life. Failing means you tried. Failing is that speed pass at the amusement park that your mom thought was a bad idea but you knew it would cut the entire process in half in the longrun. It’s a painful price to pay but sometimes you have to splurge. Allow yourself defeat from time to time. Let yourself fail. Let yourself figure it out. Let yourself move on.

5. Don't settle for anyone that isn't a hot doctor who loves children.

Okay. This type of guy might actually just exist inside The Sims, but I’d like to believe we’re all worthy of someone like that. If you want the hot doctor who is emotionally available, good with kids, and has the perfect, non-scratchy five o’clock shadow then by all means, ladies, he is out there and you are worth his time. Or maybe you’re into another type of guy. He’s out there too. What I’m trying to say here is that you don’t have to settle and you should take comfort in knowing that.

6. If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Sometimes you can’t make it to the bathroom in time. That’s cool. Sims are super hydrated so their urine is basically a blue liquid equivalent to water. Unfortunately in real life we can’t say the same. People, if you have to pee, you probably should just do it.

7. Eating ice cream straight from the carton is always the answer.

I am not totally sure what the question was, but yes, ice cream straight out of the carton is ALWAYS the answer. I’ve had some of my most memorable thoughts elbow-deep in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Most of them include “What are you doing?” and “Why are you doing this to yourself again?” but, hey, whether you’re sad, happy, a little bit tipsy, or in need of a pick-me-up, a carton of ice cream will always do the trick. Treat yo’ self.

8. You don't have to talk to someone if you don't want to.

Similar to “Talk to strangers,” you also DON’T have to talk to strangers (or anyone!) if you don’t want to. If a creepy guy in the park tells you you’re pretty or you should “smile more,” you don’t have to respond. Screw that guy, you don’t owe him anything. You’re in charge of your interactions in a virtual world and the real world itself. No one is entitled to your attention. If you’re not into it, you can take yourself out of it.

9. Everyone goes through an awkward phase.

Everyone was confused during adolescence. That’s okay. Whether you had frizzy hair, too much makeup, glasses, braces, a questionable fashion sense, or all of the above (i.e. me), just know that you are literally swimming in a sea of used-to-be ugly ducklings. None of us could figure it out from ages 9-16. The best you can do is get through it without too many scratches or fashion regrets and then afterwards compete with your friends for the most awkward #TBTs of all time.

10. Your sister will always be your best friend.

It’s true. She will. I’m not sure if there’s some weird chip implanted inside sisters’ minds that force you to still be friends after you steal each other’s clothes, scream, cry together, or fight over some unrealistic and out of reach celebrity crush, but you’re always going to have each other’s backs no matter what. Even in the virtual reality world that is The Sims, sisters can go from complete tears to running through a sprinkler together within minutes. So, poke fun at the other girls in your family sometimes and call them out when they’re wrong. Sisterhood can handle it.

11. Take every opportunity you can to dress up and eat good food.

What’s better than putting on that fancy black dress in your closet you’ve never actually worn and ordering a bougie/upscale salmon dish all while slinging back Sauvignon Blancs like you’re some kind of stock broker’s child for the night? That’s right. NOTHING. So, go do it. You don’t even need to go to a super nice restaurant, but sometimes you do owe yourself a night of feeling beautiful and tasting something that isn’t Ramen Noodles or your school’s cafeteria food.

12. Sometimes you just really need to be naked.

This is self-explanatory. #FreeTheNipple.

13. Opposites really do attract.

There’s this weird, inate thing inside some of us that allows feelings to develop between our polar opposites. Sure, in The Sims it’s probably just me behind the controller clicking “Hold hands” and “Flirtatious joke” until they WooHoo already, but it exists in real life too. If someone says they love Guy Fieri or “don’t really get” how Amy Schumer is funny and you STILL don’t want to put your head in an oven ... it’s love.

14. ... But if it doesn't work out, it's probably for the best.

Okay, so sometimes people who love Guy Fieri or don’t understand the matriarch that is Amy Schumer honestly might not actually have any real depth past that. You allowed yourself the experience to be with someone new, but it doesn’t always work out. You know what? That’s okay. Whether it’s with that polar opposite flame or someone you thought you really loved, breakups aren’t always a bad thing. Actually, in the wisdom of Louis C.K., breakups are always good news because no good relationship has ever ended in a breakup. You got through a bad thing. Go thrive.

15. Everyone gets real existential sometimes.

Even sims have moments where they look out the window and remember that existence is fleeting and life is finite and we’re all going to die and you have to live every day exactly how you want to live it or your life wasn’t actually your life at all. Okay, maybe this dude just felt like staring out the window and maybe I’m the only person who takes comfort in this type of philosophy but STILL. If there is one thing every virtual reality person and every real human being has in common it is that we will all be dead someday. Govern your decisions based on what life you truly want to lead. You have autonomy just like you do in The Sims. After all, life really is just about making choices.

16. The guy who brings out the guitar at the party when no one asked is almost always a huge tool.

I’m not knocking guys who play the guitar. My type is almost exclusively guys who play the guitar. However, there is a specific type of guy who brings out the guitar when everyone else is having a good time and he feels like he has nothing else to bring to the table. Read the room, guitar guy. Read the room.

17. Raising kids is hard, man.

IT’S SO HARD. Did you know they have to eat, sleep, play, and poop like ALL THE TIME? And they need your help with it and stuff? It’s hard. It’s really hard. My thousands of logged babysitting hours in middle school could’ve never prepared me for this and this is just a computer game. I heard raising real kids might even actually be HARDER than this. Madness. This is the best version of birth control there is, folks.

18. Everyone has mental breakdowns from time to time.

And, hey, that’s cool. Life is hard. We have to do homework and talk to people and read the news and put on clothes and acquire money. If you’re NOT having a mental breakdown every once in a while I’m honestly questioning your validity as a human being. Just like us, sims get overwhelmed. Remember to take breathers and do things just to make yourself happy when you’re feeling stressed (And go back to #8 on this list: Eating ice cream straight from the carton is always the answer. Mental breakdowns are your moments to shine, Ben & Jerry’s).

19. A relationship takes time and effort.

Virtual reality game or real, breathing, living human life, it’s going to take a while for a lasting relationship to grow. Sure, in The Sims you can just continue clicking “Get to know” or “Discuss interests” until you ultimately know everything about your crush, but that’s actually not that far from the real world. Take time to explore each other’s interests and put in the hours getting to know someone before a relationship advances. You have to be willing to make the effort. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it if you want it to be.

20. Have no shame.

BE WEIRD. Be yourself. If you take anything away from this list it should be the sheer notion that you’re allowed to be whoever you want to be. You’re allowed to wear what you want, talk to who you want, like what you like, and write lists intended for the Internet about dorky computer games that probably only children play. Bask in your absurdism. Make choices based on what you want. Be the only person dancing in a crowded area. You can take comfort in knowing that most of us are bubbling with strange questions and behaviors, there are just some better at hiding it. Learn to get rid of that shame. It’s not worth your time or happiness.