Last weekend marked the two-decade mark on the timeline that is my life and I decided to celebrate this milestone by compiling a list of 20 lessons I've learned in my 20 years of life.

Some of them seem like they'd be common sense but sometimes I'm not the sharpest Crayola in the pack, so bear with me.

1. Don't do a headstand and try to swallow milk upside-down. Nothing exciting happens, it just comes out your nose and burns like actual fire.

2. If you're significantly smaller than your dog as a child, don't roughhouse with him or he might drag you by the shirtsleeve all over the living room by accident.

3. Make your bed every day--it makes your room look so much cleaner.

4. Learn to put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink in order to eliminate kitchen clutter and not drive your mother insane.

5. If you feel like you need to check around you before you start talking about someone to make sure that person isn't able to hear you, you need to reevaluate the content of your conversation.

6. Don't panic if you don't seem to be growing bigger or taller while your friends are hitting their growth spurts--your time will come eventually.

7. If you play hide and seek and decide to hide in your bathroom linen closet, make sure you can reach the handle from the inside before you shut the door all the way.

8. Never yell "help" around or in a pool unless you actually need it, or your parents will supply you with a reason to yell it.

9. Six kids are too many kids for one high school sophomore to babysit, especially if you don't have a car.

10. If you're feeling sick before you go to a friend's house for a sleepover, don't pretend it's nothing because it might be pneumonia.

11. Don't offer your friends your sweatshirts if they have a habit of not giving them back for months on end.

12. Don't always insist on paying for your friends every time you go out to eat or to the movies because 1) you'll eventually run out of money and 2) it sometimes makes them uncomfortable even though you're just trying to be nice.

13. Read the warning signs if you have a friend that's super nice to you but kind of awful to other people for no apparent reason.

14. $20 total per day for three kids for over six hours isn't a fair babysitting rate, unless you want to do a person a favor.

15. Don't try at home waxing kits if you have a low pain tolerance.

16. It's OK if you don't like sports or athletic things-- just make sure you come up with other hobbies instead of doing nothing.

17. Make sure you're near a clock when you decide to play Sims 4 or you'll play for hours without blinking.

18. Don't watch the needle go into your arm when you get shots or have your blood drawn.

19. Always keep practical survival things in every bag you own. Seriously. You might just save the day when you can pull out a pack of tissues at a frat party in college where there's no toilet paper and that's a good feeling.

20. And last but not least, develop a good strategy for deciding when to let things go and when to stand your ground. Because holding grudges forever isn't really healthy, but letting people walk all over you because you don't want to cause a disturbance doesn't really help you either.