"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."
-Marion Garretty
There are many instances in life where I've thought, "Would that be a good example to set for my little sister?" You don't know the amount of times I've wondered whether being a good sister meant letting you learn from your (and on many occasions my own) mistakes or to prevent you from making them in the first place. I can remember many old home videos wherein I tried to prevent you from things like eating dog food when you were a toddler, mindlessly crawling towards Hoss's dog food bowl or when you needed to find an Easter egg at grandma's house and were too little to find them yourself. There were many lessons similar to this that I'd learned as soon as you came into the world 20 years ago. In honor of your birthday, I've summarized 20 life lessons you've shown me over the years.
1. Simple things like endlessly waiting for your vacation plane can be enhanced if you have the right companion.
I am aware of the corny aspect of this point, but it's a good one. No matter how great, mundane or awful something can get, there's always a little bit of reassurance present when you have someone by your side. Either to aid you, celebrate with you or just be with you, to know that somebody is always there for you is monumental. I am glad we were able to spend some of those simple moments (like rolling on the kitchen floor) by each other's side.
2. Matching haircuts or looking like twins isn't always the worst thing in the world.
When you were born, I wasn't just referred to by my name anymore. We were one entity, often referred to as, "the girls." There was not one name without the other and we often became synonymous with each other. We looked alike, sounded alike and were definitely seen as twins before sisters. That wasn't always a bad thing (referring back to point numero uno) and I'm grateful that I had someone awesome to be compared to!
3. Even if you think you have all the time in the world with a person, spend as much time as you can with loved ones.
Even lessons as simple as this one can be forgotten several times in your life. You always were there to remind me that there is never enough time to spend with someone and that love is really spelled t-i-m-e. Not many in this world rather have material gifts or possessions rather than time with their friend or family member once that person has passed on.
4. Fighting is normal here and there, but working together is what gets you somewhere.
A wise man once told me that as long as there are two people in the world, there will always be disagreements. Siblings are known to disagree on a constant basis and we are no exception. I find that siblings of the same gender might even fight more than usual. There's more to fight about, more known weak spots and of course more clothes, toys and other things to share. We still have our share of arguments even though we're "all grown up," but we never let it get in the way of being family.
5. Life is not always about weathering the storm, but about learning to dance in the rain.
It might be said all too often, but times today are tough. Our government and economy are a mess, we're overworked and the student debt is increasing by the minute. Life is not easy even if today's events were simpler. In times of strife, you've shown me that life is there for us to enjoy (even when things are chaotic) and that worrying about things today that might happen in a few years is not always a good use of your time if at all.
6. You can be anything you want to be or set your mind to.
You've always been one to have multiple things going on at one time, but still have your composure. I've learned from you that it is possible to have varied interests and be in pursuit of one ultimate, but seemingly unattainable goal. Unlike myself, you've always had your heart set on your chosen field of study. I've wavered on many options, but you've stayed faithful to your plans. You've also shown me that plans can change, but you have to be flexible and re-adapt to certain unplanned events.
7. A smile alone can brighten anyone's day.
Whether it's shown in real life or a photograph, you've shown me that there's always a reason to smile. Smiling is contagious and if it makes someone's day a little bit better than it was before, it's always worth it.
8. Sometimes the best things can happen when you're not even expecting it.
At first, I thought this picture was merely a great candid shot taken by mom. Then, I looked closer at what you were holding and saw that mom used detergent and fabric softener caps for us to use when scooping sand to make sandcastles. At times, you've shown me similar examples of how life can take you by surprise (like on another home video when I thought mom's ultrasound pictures of you meant mom was carrying "a shark" instead of you). Surprises can be good and the best times are yet to come, though we may not plan for it or see it that way some days.
9. Being sentimental is never a weakness.
Even though my hair might look horrible, my fashion sense could have been embarrassing or I genuinely don't like the picture, I always love looking back at old albums or home videos to remember how simple and great life was back when we were younger. This photo is a good example of that, along with many others of us. Keeping the pictures that we might not see as important at the time is vital to keeping memories alive for years to come and so newer generations can experience the same nostalgia we do when looking at old photos.
10. Life itself is a series of learning lessons.
You've always done great things academically. You've excelled through Advanced Placement courses and reached for the stars by enrolling in the Honors Program at your college, which has a 34% acceptance rate. However, you're also astute in remembering the important life lessons you've gained along the way to college. That's super essential; you can be the greatest scholar in the world, but have no life skills or morals to back it up. In addition, you've inspired me to be the best I can be in nearly every area of life. Sometimes I've fallen short of that, but you've given me the motivation to stand up after all the damage was done.
11. Confidence and living life without regrets are the key to success.
Whatever you've done in your life, you always defend yourself and your choices. Some may say that's being stubborn, but I see it as being confident in your choices and doing what you think is best at the time. Strong-willed and self-confident people like yourself go far in life! Even though sometimes you hold your opinions a little too close, it has shown me that if you believe in something you will stop at nothing to defend it.
12. No matter how far away you live, you should always make time to talk.
When I went off to college, I learned this lesson the hard way. I no longer felt like I could just yell across the hallway to your bedroom to talk. I didn't feel like I had the time to even send a text most days and I was overwhelmed with my new college experience (and lots of homework to boot). You've taught me that once in awhile you have to make the time to even send a funny Snapchat or text. It's important especially on days like this where we feel so separated on a day we would usually spend as a family.
13. Problems aren't so cumbersome if you remember to look at the big picture.
By encountering difficulties in life, you've taught me that though I make things out to be a mountain they may just be a small bump in reality. You've calmed me in the face of anger and relieved me in the very real feelings of stress and anxiety. You're always one to take a step back and breathe before overreacting (as I tend to do).
14. Sharing an iTunes account wasn't all that bad.
Our music taste tends to overlap less and less nowadays, but sharing music back then was great because you'd have another person to help you get the tracks you wanted. You forced me to learn the importance of sharing early on (much like sharing space in the above selfie), but it didn't stop as soon as we got older.
15. Being funny is more important than being correct.
Seriously, one of the best life hacks I've learned from you is the importance of having a balance of silly and serious in my life. Sometimes my silliness tends to outweigh my seriousness, but honestly I think it's served me well in life. You've been my co-comedian from day 1 and I can say with all certainty that I've learned from the best.
16. Life is instantly better when you remember to enjoy your youth.
We often forget how years of our life feel like fleeting moments. Today might have you saying, "Wow, I can't believe I'm already 20. I feel like just yesterday I was celebrating my sweet sixteen." Although you've done so much in those years, you've made me remember that living in the present is its own rite of passage. In this life, you have to savor every moment you can and live as passionately as possible.
17. Adventure is out there.
Journeying to new places and taking risks seem to be life traits you've acquired traveling along your life's path. I still never imagined you'd go out of state for college like I did, but you went way further! I've always admired your thirst for adventure and trying new things. I wish I could say I've fully learned this lesson, but maybe even I need a refresher in being spontaneous!
18. Two is better than one, but three is better than two.
Plus, you get bunnies (because it was around Easter when our little brother arrived). When Ben was born you had your first and last chance to be the "big sister." You are now also referred to as the "middle child." You no longer get the privileges that come with being the "baby," but as mom would agree, three's a crowd! You and Ben have shown me that being a big sister is more of a pain then I anticipated, but it's all worth it when it's all said and done.
19. Sharing a birthday with someone is a lot better than you'd think.
Dad would concur with this statement, but you share a birthday with a pretty awesome dude. Although technically I taught you this lesson by being born on our maternal grandmother's birthday, you perfected it by being born on dad's special day.
20. Be yourself because why be anyone less awesome than you?
For simplicity's sake, you've unintentionally reiterated that you should always stick to your guns and remain true to yourself, even if that means making mistakes (like those I've tried to prevent you from making). In the process, we've made countless ones that we've eventually learned from (as evident in this article). Here's to making more mistakes in the years to come and learning as we go along. Happy 20th Birthday, Elle.
~Dedicated to my sister, Ellen, on her 20th Birthday!~
All photos are property of Anne McLean
