When I turned 19 I wrote a similar article to this, listing 19 lessons I had learned in 19 years. At the time I was in a place in my life where I was learning a lot and I hadn't even learned all of the lessons I had listed then, to their fullest. Much has changed in the last year and my perspective is just one of those things. I hope these lessons inspire, console, and reassure people that life happens and that's okay:
1. Allow people to love you
I am guilty of pushing people away because I feel like I've annoyed/burdened them too much with who I am. This just isn't true. People are going to come into your life and love you for who you are. Letting them allows for such a happier life.
2. Say what you want
Filtering yourself is only important if the things you have to say are rude or unnecessarily mean. But if you want to tell someone you love them, do it. If you need to tell someone that you're upset with them, say it. Life's too short to hold your tongue.
3. Timing is fake
People like to use a lot of excuses as to why things might not have worked out or that they're too busy to spend time with you, but here's the thing: people make time for the things they want to make time for. There is never going to be a perfect time because life is always happening. So don't wait around.
4. Invest in people who invest in you
Put your energy into the people that give it back to you. Otherwise it just ends up draining you.
5. Cut all toxicity out of your life.
Whether it be a bad friend, a job you can't stand, or your own negative thoughts, put steps in place to go about creating a more positive environment for yourself. You'll be surprised how much time you put into things that were really just holding you back.
6. Take a step outside of yourself every once in a while
Sometimes I get really stuck in my own head and I lose perspective. It's important at times like these to take a step back and look at my life in a different light. It really helps a lot.
7. Choose your happiness first
While you shouldn't be inconsiderate to other people, don't put yourself into uncomfortable environments for the sake of other people. Your happiness should be one of the most important things to you. Prioritize it.
8. Everything in moderation
I'm a super all or nothing type person, but it doesn't have to be that way. Balance is always better.
9. Eat the cake
While you should live life in moderation, you should also indulge. While maybe you shouldn't eat cake for every meal, don't limit yourself because of insecurity or fear of what other people may think. It's your life so eat the cake.
10. Travel everywhere
If you have the opportunity to travel the world, do it. It will change your perspective on life. If you don't that doesn't mean you can't expand your perspective by traveling outside of your town, going to museums, learning about other cultures, etc.
11. Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself is hard. I even wrote an article about how it's a lot harder than people let on. Even though it's hard it has to be a priority. Your physical, emotional, and mental health need to come first.
12. Sometimes you need to let go of people you love
I talk from experience when I say sometimes loving someone just isn't enough to maintain a friendship/relationship. Letting that person go is sometimes necessary in order to better your life.
13. It's not your job to fix people
Everyone has their own set of demons. If you care about/love someone you should stand by them and provide the help and support they need. But there also comes a point when you are putting so much effort into helping someone get better, trying to mend all of their broken parts that you lose yourself and they don't even notice/care. Know when to walk away.
14. Care about the work you do
Putting no effort into your work really shows and it makes it a lot less fun. If you're working on something you're passionate about put effort and thought into it. It's important.
15. Don't take a hot shower midday if you haven't eaten
You will pass out or get sick. Trust me.
16. If your check engine light comes on you should worry
This summer I broke down twice on the side of the road because I chose to ignore the check engine light that turned on. Shout out to Triple AAA.
17. Take things one day at a time
The future can be really scary and overwhelming. Instead of driving yourself crazy about things you have no control over, take a deep breath and take it one day at a time.
18. Dress in what makes you comfortable
Society has a lot of expectations as to what people with different body types should wear and it's all nonsense. If you feel comfortable in what you're wearing than screw what anyone else says.
19. My family are my people
This may not apply to everyone due to everyone having different family dynamics, but for me, my mom and sister are my best friends. I honestly do not know what I would do without them. They are my people through and through.
20. Being 20 doesn't mean you have to have your entire life figured out
I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately to have it together because I'm turning 20 and I feel like your life really takes hold in your 20s. But the thing is is my life has always been happening and I should be proud of where I am. So here's to being in my 20's! They'll take it from here.
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