When I think back on my childhood and teenage years, I can’t help but wonder where the time went. How did I enter adulthood so quickly? I also can’t help but think about all of the things I have learned along the way… both easy and not so easy. For those of you on the brink of the big 2-0, enter the next decade of your life knowing the following things:

1. You are more resilient than you seem.

I’ve been through loneliness, heartbreaks, lost friendships, new environments, nerve-racking situations, and more drama-filled high school experiences than I can count, but I came out of it all as a better person. I bounced back from it all and went on to achieve success.

2. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for.

I always thought of myself as “average.” I got decent grades, didn’t get a ton of recognition in high school, and only applied to colleges I thought I would get into. But once I got out into the real world, I realized how smart I really am. Once I got out of those high school halls, I finally had the confidence I needed to succeed. I have never been one to brag, but I have become someone who now knows their strengths and realized their true potential.

3. The number of friends you have doesn’t matter.

I always thought that if I didn’t have countless friends waiting to hang out with me on a Friday night, I was doing something wrong. If I didn’t have a long list of friends to invite to my birthday parties, I thought that I wasn’t “cool” enough. Little did I know, it is more important to have a few great friends that will always be there, than tons of friends that are only there for the moment.

4. It’s perfectly fine to spend a night in with your mom.

Growing up, there’s always that stigma that it’s not cool to stay home and hang out with your mom. Well, guess what? I love my mom and if I want to stay home and watch Lifetime movies and eat junk food with her, I will (and I think that’s pretty cool.)

5. You can’t please everyone.

I always wanted to make sure that everyone around me was happy with my decisions. But, as you grow up, it becomes harder and harder to please everyone. I’ve realized, though, that it’s more important to do what you feel is right, than to base your decisions on other people.

6. It’s okay if you don’t want to do what everyone else is doing.

I used to feel like the “loser” of the group if I didn’t want to do something everyone else wanted to do (that I didn’t agree with.) I truly believed that by sticking to the values I grew up with, I wasn’t as “cool” or as “fun” as everyone else. As I’ve grown up, though, I’ve come to the realization that it is more important to be the one that stood their ground, than to be the one that regrets their decisions.

7. Setting goals is important.

You can’t achieve your goals until you set some! It’s important to come up with some things you want to achieve. Once you set your mind on something, there’s no telling what you’ll do!

8. Believing in yourself is the first step to success.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve doubted myself. I have spent more time putting myself down than I have building myself up. It took me quite a while to realize it, but this does more harm than good. It’s very hard to succeed in something if you continuously tell yourself you can’t do it.

9. Family time is so important.

Especially when you’re away at college, It’s important to find time to spend with your family. I took all of the family time I got growing up for granted. Now, I can’t wait to get home and see everyone!

10. Being focused on your career is a good thing.

Some people don’t know what they want to do with their lives right away, and that’s okay! But it’s not a bad thing to know what you want to do right off the bat, either! I have known what I wanted to do since high school, and sometimes, people made me feel bad about it. I’ve heard annoyed utterances of, “We aren’t all as lucky as you,” and, “Well not everyone can have it all figured out” more times than I can count. But, if you know what you want to do, good for you! Own it!

11. It’s important to enjoy the little things.

Sometimes the little things turn out to be the big things. So, enjoy those long chats with your best friend, or your first kiss with someone special, they may turn out to be some of your most treasured memories.

12. You don’t need to grow up so fast.

I was in such a hurry to grow up and get out of the house. I always thought about how great it would be to not be a kid anymore. Now, I wish I could make it slow down. Enjoy being a kid for as long as you can, you’ll miss it someday.

13. Sometimes you have to let people go out of your life, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, you meet friends along the way that bring you down. I always thought that was just a normal part of friendship. I tried to accept these people’s flaws, and ultimately, change them. Some people just can’t be changed, though, and that’s perfectly okay. Sometimes you just have to let people leave your life. They’ll all leave an impact on you, though.

14. Cut yourself some slack sometimes.

I don’t mean that you should always procrastinate or do subpar work. But, sometimes, your sanity is more important than that exam or that assignment. Know where to draw the line between doing your best, and losing your mind. Take breaks, get enough sleep, and don’t forget to relax sometimes.

15. Treat others with kindness, even when nobody else is.

Throughout my life so far, I’ve been in so many situations where all of my friends were making fun of someone because they were different than us. Whether it be making fun of them behind their back or to their face, it’s never okay. Sometimes, I didn’t interfere, but now I wish I had. Always strive to treat others with kindness. No matter what your friends are doing, you’ll never regret treating someone the way you want to be treated.

16. It’s better to just be yourself.

I always wanted to be the coolest, prettiest, most put-together girl in the room. I’ve realized that that’s not always possible. You know what is possible, though? Being yourself. Just be comfortable being yourself, and your real friends will be there for you.

17. High school doesn’t last forever.

When I was in high school, I always thought that every fight, breakup, embarrassment or instance of drama was going to last forever. I’d always have to worry about people thinking of that when they thought of me. But you know what? High school ended, and with that, so did all of the drama that followed us all around in it. When you leave high school, no one cares if you dated some guy on the football team, or used to be best friends with the prettiest girl in school. None of that matters anymore. So keep that in mind when you’re stressing out about high school drama.

18. College gives you the best and worst times in your life.

In college, you have some great times. You meet new friends and make memories that will last forever. It’s important to enjoy that. But college will also give you some of the worst, most stressful times too. Deadlines and due dates will stress you out beyond belief. There will be times when all of your professors schedule exams on the same day, and there will be times that you want to give up. It will be okay, though. I am learning to push through it and be successful (and so far, so good!)

19. Laugh at yourself.

I have always been self-conscious. I worry about my looks, the things I say in front of people, and just what people think of me. I am slowly learning, though, that you just need to laugh at yourself sometimes. If you get too caught up in your self-conscious ways, it will hold you back from doing the things you really love to do.

20. Every year, you’ll learn more things.

Every year, you’ll leave the year knowing more about yourself than you did before. Life is all about learning and growing. So, buckle up, I think it’s going to be a pretty bumpy ride (in a good way.)