We've all seen the articles about the stereotypical people we went to high school with, the people in our college lectures or the typical cast of people you see down at your local dive bar. What you don't see much of is a breakdown of the people you went to elementary school with. Let's go for a walk down memory lane and see if you can name the person from your school that match these descriptions.
1. The girl who was obsessed with horses
We all just pictured somebody, didn't we? Her shirts had horses on them, her trapper keeper had horses on it, and every presentation she did was on horses. If will power and horse love was all that was necessary in a human to horse transformation, you know she'd be neighing her way around the halls.
2. The kid with the best packed lunch every day
It's like juice boxes, lunchables and fruit snacks grew on a tree at this kid's house.
3. The hottest boy in school
What did "hot" even mean in elementary school? Whatever it was, all the girls were obsessed with him. Maybe it was his swoop-y hair or that touchdown he scored in his little league football game. But no matter how many girls wrote him notes or asked him out through their friend, he only had eyes for one.
4. The coolest girl in school
Yep, the coolest girl in school. Everybody loved her, she always had the coolest Bobby Jack shirts from Justice, and she was the apple of hot boy's eye. What you wouldn't give to be her so you could be the one who could one-arm-side-hug the hottest boy after school.
5. The boy who was constantly going to the principal's office
Whether he was talking too loud, roughhousing on the playground or failing to do his homework because he was too busy goofing off with his troublemaker friends, the principal's office was this kid's second home.
6. The girls who sang Breaking Free from High School Musical for the talent show
No, I'm not saying a group of four friends sang this song as a quartet. I'm saying four different girls separately decided they were going to do their own rendition of Breaking Free four separate times. Because it wasn't horrible enough to listen to a tone deaf 8-year-old sing overtop of a CD recording once.
7. The star athlete
And by this I mean the kid who was really fast on that two-handle scooter in gym class, or could do like, maybe four pull-ups with the gym teacher's help.
8. The student that was constantly six reading level ahead of everyone else
Okay, we get it! You don't need to carry around your five-inch Harry Potter book while everyone else is struggling their way through the Magic Treehouse series. Be a nerd on your own time.
9. The kid with like 47 LiveStrong bracelets
Did everyone have one of these kids? Because I clearly remember a boy wearing LiveStrong bracelets in every color and color combination known to man up to each elbow every single day.
10. The girl who had a different boyfriend every other day
And that was a slow week for her. She had to have dated everyone in your grade at least once. I'm sure she was in a constant state of heartbreak going through so many harsh breakups.
11. The kid who always finished those damn times tables in like, 12 seconds
Once again, we get it! You didn't need to throw your pencil down so expressively because now everyone is self conscious that they can't remember how to multiply their twelves!
12. The guy who was constantly trying to get high off of scented markers
Every time a highlighter, scented marker, sharpie or Expo marker landed in this boy's hand, he'd take the cap off of it and smell it, laughing like he was going to get genuinely intoxicated off of sniffing a berry-scented highlighter for four seconds.
13. The student who always wrote the letters for recorder chords instead of reading the music
This was 100 percent me. I'm sorry, but it was way too hard to learn how to read music as a third grader. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get a black belt in recorder karate.
14. The boy who always put Captain Underpants on his Book Fair wish list and cackled when he got it
Underpants was the undisputed funniest word to an elementary schooler, and while I don't think anybody ever read the Captain Underpants series in its entirety, it was on every boy's Book Fair wish list every single year, right at the top.
15. The piece of sh*t who always looked at people's shoes during Heads Up Seven Up
This kid has a fresh spot waiting for him in hell.
16. The nose-picker
So many people picked their noses in elemetary school, but when you think of the nose picker of your elementary school class, you automatically think of one specific person.
17. The kid who found out what sex was before everyone else and then had to tell everyone what sex was
It was normally only 50 percent right and was explained to you on the bus by a fifth grader.
18. The kid who ruined Santa
"Haha, you still believe in Santa?" was the catchphrase of this no-good, fun ruining sack of crap who constantly and relentlessly teased people who still believed in the beauty and miracle of Christmas. Yes, I still believed in Santa, David!
19. The girl who was super good at art
I'd really like to see her work now to see what we considered amazing art back in elementary school, but for a fourth grader she was like Picasso.
20. The kid who had lice like 40 times
Rules about sharing hats and laying on carpet were implemented solely because of this person. There was no fear like the fear of being partners with the repeat lice offender.
