I know it has already been said, retail is the worst job in the world, well I'm about to say it again. Retail is by far one of the most terrible jobs. However, I'm about to say something that not many have said before; retail is one of the most satisfying and gratifying jobs. You learn many qualities which will help you divide and conquer the real world, namely patience. Indeed, there are times when you serve a table that is insatiable, where you seem not to be able to do a single task right. Most don't think about what their server is dealing with while serving them. However, the amazing customers you meet and the friends you make in the restaurant industry make the hardships all worthwhile. I need to reiterate; I do indeed love serving, this list is mainly to be funny and draw attention to common server problems.
"I wasn't the best waitress in the world, but I was cheerful and worked hard." ~ Lucy Alibar
1. Nine times out of ten, your server's demeanor is a direct reflection of your own.
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2. We rely on tips to pay our bills. Therefore, we don't serve you for compliments.
Don't get me wrong; a friendly and happy customer is always appreciated — We prefer money for our gas tanks to help us home.
3. While we will try to make your experience as enjoyable as possible, you are not our only customer.
4. If you come in with a baby, we will try to be as accommodating as possible.
But if your child throws food, screams, and causes a scene, we will be less inclined to be at your beck and call, and more likely hide from you.
5. The phrase "I know the owners," seems like a good threat to make, but it usually does not phase your server at all.
6. Behind the kind platitudes and witty banter, there's a 90 percent chance we're dying inside.
So when we ask you if we can get you anything else, and upon return, you mention seven other items you initially forgot, we are silently debating an immediate exit of the building.
7. When we are at another table, we appreciate receiving a chance to finish up before hearing, "Hey, you," and "Excuse me, miss?"
8. We know the menu nine times out of ten, but it is terribly annoying for you to play 20 questions with us.
Everything you need is clearly laid out on the menu for you to read.
9. Long waits and incorrect orders are usually not the server's fault.
A lot is out of our control, and a lot can happen between taking your order, preparing it, and serving it. Therefore, neglecting to leave your server a tip because of something we cannot control and tried to fix, is inexcusable.
10. There are many jobs required of a server starting with the time you sit down till the time you leave.
To mention a few: a server must, fill and refill drinks, take and place orders, deliver the food, bus tables, and exchange polite conversation with our customers. We cannot always be where you need us to be.
11. When we introduce ourselves, it is not because we want to force a relationship with you.
It is because if there is a problem, it is helpful to know the name of your server. Therefore, if your server is introducing herself, it is not polite to interrupt her with your drink order.
12. Blaming a server for the price of the item you ordered doesn't make one bit of sense.
We did not create the menu nor did we set the prices. We just work in the restaurant.
13. If your server is struggling, and you see we are doing our very best to serve you, we appreciate it when you leave us a good tip.
14. Leaving a rude, and vague review on Facebook is unlikely to fix a problem.
However, addressing the manager or owner about the problem at hand, leaving a note, even leaving your name and number on a receipt, can sometimes bring about changes you so desire.
15. We understand you have a life, but continuing an hour long conversation on your phone instead of allowing the server to take your order is rude.
It can also cause the time to be delayed on your meal seeing as your server cannot read your mind and know what your stomach craves.
16. We cut overserved customers off because of the laws not because we're jerks.
We are regulated to restrict your alcohol consumption. Therefore, it is not our fault when we say we can no longer serve you.
17. If you eat the majority of your meal and then complain, we are less inclined to take your complaint of an unsatisfactory meal to heart.
18. We adore you when your party of 30 people says your meal is all on one check.
19. If you steal our pens, we will know, and we will more than likely remember you next time you return.
20. We love it when you ask to see our manager and they tell you exactly what we just explained.
21. When it is ten minutes to closing time, and you walk through the door, we are torn between cursing your name and jumping for joy at the prospect of another tip but mostly cursing your name.
