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20 Of The Best Christian Pick-up Lines

So, my parents are home. Wanna come over?

Lauren Stancle

Apr 11, 2016

Olivet Nazarene University

864

E Cards

In the Christian circle, maybe you've heard one of these atrocities used as an attempt to pick-up a future spouse -- and if you have, I'm sorry.

1. I heard you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ… mind if I'm third wheel?

2. 3. So, my parents are home. Wanna come over?

4. If I march around you seven times, will you fall for me?

5. 6. I’m not Boaz and you’re not Ruth, but you can glean my fields anytime.

7. 8. Are you a Pharisee? ‘Cause you’re the fairest one I see.

9. 10. Do you need prayer? Because I can totally lay hands on you…

11. Your love language isn’t too important to me… because I’m going to love you in every language.

12. 13. Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?

14. On a scale from one to 10 you’re a nine and I’m the one God sent to complete you.

15. 16. I’d give you my heart, but I already gave it to Jesus. You can have my number though.

17. 18. You’re so unblemished I could sacrifice you.

19. Wow! I could really see myself being comfortable reading Song of Solomon with you!

20. Look, you’re nearly 22. Most Christians are three years into marriage by now… just settle for me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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20 Of The Best Christian Pick-up Lines

So, my parents are home. Wanna come over?

1. I heard you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ… mind if I'm third wheel?

2.

3. So, my parents are home. Wanna come over?

4. If I march around you seven times, will you fall for me?

5.

6. I’m not Boaz and you’re not Ruth, but you can glean my fields anytime.

7.

8. Are you a Pharisee? ‘Cause you’re the fairest one I see.

9.

10. Do you need prayer? Because I can totally lay hands on you…

11. Your love language isn’t too important to me… because I’m going to love you in every language.

12.

13. Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?

14. On a scale from one to 10 you’re a nine and I’m the one God sent to complete you.

15.

16. I’d give you my heart, but I already gave it to Jesus. You can have my number though.

17.

18. You’re so unblemished I could sacrifice you.

19. Wow! I could really see myself being comfortable reading Song of Solomon with you!

20. Look, you’re nearly 22. Most Christians are three years into marriage by now… just settle for me.

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

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