12 Questions You Should Never Ask A Utahn | The Odyssey Online
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12 Questions You Should Never Ask A Utahn

Only if you have lived in Utah will you understand!

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12 Questions You Should Never Ask A Utahn
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As a Utahn who decided to spend four years in a strange new place, I have encountered some interesting and questionable stereotypes outside of the 'Beehive State.' Coming to a new state for college, I had the mindset to meet a lot of people and make great friends. As I have gone through the past four years in a school, where people's hometowns are everywhere but Utah, I have had to develop a scripted bio about myself. This is for when I meet people so that I can answer their questions at the same time. Some people say "Oh, I was not going to ask," but let us be honest, you were thinking about asking. Let's clear the air about us Utahns, what is true or not true:

1. Are you Mormon?

YES. Oh man do I actually love saying "yes" to that question because it has gotten some funny responses. The truth is that Utah is filled with Mormons! Am I one of them though? No, because even though there are many Mormons running about, it's not the same for everyone.

2. Do you pronounce your t's?

This depends how your pronounce the word mountain -- is it "mown'un?" We also say "garage sell" instead of "sale." Weird I know, however I was only born and raised there and didn't create our current language barriers.

3. What in the world is fry sauce?

Everyone and their mother's cousin should try this magical, bewildering sauce. We have truly created a magical fast food cocktail sauce, especially for our obsession of fries.

4. Is everyone really nice?

It is true! The majority of the people are nice but just like anywhere, we have some crime running through the streets. I once saw a guy leave no tip for their server -- hello they have lives to live too.

5. How many siblings do you have?

Apparently living in Utah requires you to procreate up to at least two offspring. I am not sure how my parents have managed to escape the enforcements on that one.

6. Oh you are in your 20s, are you married? In a serious relationship?

I am actually as single as single gets, and proud of it. What do I look like? Not everyone wants children before they're 30. However people in Utah are getting married and having children left and right.

7. How many children do you have or want?

Let me think about that...wait let's not think about that. I love children, however still not ready to create my own.

8. How many spouses do/can you have?

Seriously? Why? I am not sure how to respond to this, so I am just going to leave it up there.

9. But actually... how common is polygamy?

Look it is not as common as you think. Does it exist? Yes. Have I met one? Yes. Do I enjoy answering these strange questions? I'll let you answer that.

10. Is there anywhere to get a drink?

This actually makes me giggle. We have giant stores filled with only liquor. However, have a game you want to watch Sunday with a nice strong beverage? Well you better buy the goods on Saturday!

11. Do you ski or snowboard?

Not everyone in Utah is into snow sports. However, I was bred into skiing since my little legs were stable enough to hold me up. Pro Tip: Pizza to slowdown and French Fries to go fast.

12. Wait what is fry sauce again?

Alright, alright do you really want to know? Ketchup and mayonnaise, mixed together! And voilà you have yourself some fry sauce. Mind is blown. You are most certainly welcome.

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